The Swallows, Betty and the Surgeon....

As the title might suggest this is a some what melancholy post and I feel I have to warn you that I am particularly low at the moment. I'm not sure why could be to do with yet another of the wonderful ladies on the forum passing (see previous posts), or that quite a few ladies on the FB chat group are suffering and fighting hard, could be just to do with the time of year and the fact that I get very very sad when the swallows leave, it's the final curtain for summer (certainly cold enough!).

The other morning I counted around 50 swallows balancing on the wires, all very active and singing their hearts out it was like the last gathering before the big off. So I bid them farewell for this year and secretly wonder will I still be here to see them return! I think that's what is getting too me.

Tomorrow I see my breast surgeon Dr D., haven't seen him since my mx last year so I think this is just a routine check up appointment, but for some reason I couldn't stop thinking about it last night and ended up getting out of bed at 4 in the morning and reading my Betty Shine books which as it happens is not such a bad thing, Betty died back in 2002 but she was a phenomenal healer/medium/clairvoyant her daughter Janet Shine has produced a website http://www.zitaglio.com/bettyshine/ and channels her mother to provide absent healing, so I have written to her in the hope that she can send me some absent healing.

Its ridiculous but we've just been out blackberry picking and I caught myself crying whilst walking around, I quickly put my sunglasses on to try and hide my tears, and I know its stupid I honestly don't know what I am crying about, as far as all the cancer stuff I'm actually doing really well, I suppose its like a monkey stuck to my back its never far behind me and will always tug at the heart strings as I lament on my life before breast cancer and yearn to be care free and back to my old self. Thank god for this blog, I really needed to let that lot out.
Love and light to all
xxx