RIP Polly Noble and Liz Greggory

Polly Noble has passed away she was only 32 and had been fighting aggressive cervical cancer that had spread to other vital organs since she was 24. Polly was a breath of fresh air she was an english Kris Carr. How can someone so young and vibrant be taken so very quickly. Polly was a wellness warrior and wrote books and websites on eating right including raw and green juicing. She didn't smoke or drink yet she still got taken by this fucking disease. I had signed up to Polly's website and would receive regular updates and recipes from her I was starting to think why haven't I had an email from Polly when all of the sudden it dawned on me something had happened. My worst fears were realised when I googled her name and the words funeral came up automatically. I started reading her obituary and tears rolled down, like they have so many times for so many different people some with breast cancer some with other types of cancer in the past 3 and a half years since being dx I've buried at least 20 women all of whom I'd had direct contact with via the internet or by phone, its quite simply shocking. Initially I react by getting tearful and upset then as the realisation of whats happened sinks in I get fucking angry I try not to as I think anger internalised is very very bad for you but my reactions are what they are and I am so angry why oh why oh why and what an utter waste of a caring, compassionate, inspired human being.......words fail me I am at a loss.....


R.I.P. Polly Noble you were a true inspiration and you didn't deserve your unbelievably unkind end.

I've added this today in honour and remembrance of the lovely Liz Gregory I met Liz on line, a fellow secondary breast cancer patient who was amongst others offered tremendous support and help in my hour of need. Liz was a salt of the earth kind of person compassionate and caring always willing to offer help and advice. This fucking cancer has finally got her I pray her passing was calm and that she was free of suffering and pain. As always she leaves behind a family whom now have to pick up the peices and continue without her.

R.I.P. Liz Gregory you will be missed, sending you lots of love and light lovely lady. xxx

The Heat is on...

The heat is on not just literally, spent most of today trying to avoid the heat it's bad enough with the perpetual hot flushes let alone with all this hot weather, although I prefer to have gorgeous sunny days as opposed to constant rain! One good thing about this hot weather is that I tend to get up earlier and start the day with a organic green juice, another good tip is to make smoothies these are seriously yum, yesterday I used a bag of pre bought frozen fruits, bio live yogurt, and lactose free semi-skimmed milk, today I used fresh pineapple and cantaloupe melon which I diced and put in the freezer, added the organic bio live yogurt and lactose free semi skimmed milk, totally tropical and brilliantly cooling, also really good for you and yummy!


On another note and in the spirit of not "bottling things up" (see post below 'better out than in...') or letting the proverbial heat get to me....here goes......you have been warned....


My main pain's are not with my own body although you would of thought that weight gain, hot flushes, having to be on treatment forever, constant fear of cancer returning was enough! No my main source of annoyance comes from people. Here's a list of my many people annoyances starting with the phrase people that....

• Avoid me (because they don't want to face up to my dx) this makes me feel like a leper! 
• Think that you can actually catch cancer, just to make sure and understand YOU CAN'T CATCH CANCER!
• Tell me not to talk about IT or tell anyone! (WHY? because they are scared it will happen to them! or that talking about it in someway is a self fore filling prophesy, if only it were that simple we'd all be cured!)
• Knowingly blow cigarette smoke in my face (can someone explain why you would do that to someone whom you know has lung mets!)
• Are totally insensitive/thoughtless (tell me that cancer is some sort of punishment from god, this was particularly rich considering the person concerned was an atheist also choose to tell me that little gem when I was first dx)
• Imply in some way that I was to blame for my dx (just for the record I AM NOT TOO BLAME)
• Tell me "you look really well" (this may be the case, I never looked ill before I got the dam disease and I still don't look ill now, that why its so fucking scary!)

Normal service will resume now I've got that load of shit literally off my chest. 
Thanks for listening x