Della has departed but never forgotten.....

I don't really know where to start with this, tears over this, the wonderful Della has passed away, I didn't realise it was that bad, I knew she was struggling and prayed for her every day. This fucking vile disease takes yet another beautiful soul from the planet. The only consolation is she is no longer suffering. RIP discombobulated one, you were a tower of strength and an inspiration to all.

Night night Disco Della, I pray your dancing away up there in heaven having a ball, far away on the other side, blinding everyone with your brilliant light, leaving us all in the dark, but for the wit and writing in your wonderful blog http://discombobulateddel.blogspot.co.uk/ to console us.

Missing you so much. xx

RIP Issy

Today is a sad day, today my online cancer buddy Ismena Clout passed away having just reached her 40th birthday last week she was an exceptionally strong lady who had fought this shit for the past 10 years being dx initially at the tender age of just 28, it begs belief doesn't it! She will be sadly missed and mourned by many not just her family and close friends but those of us who she has helped with her words of wisdom her compassion, advice, and her wit especially poignant knowing what she was going through. Another star in the sky another life snuffed out by this vile disease. RIP Issy you will be missed. Love and light my dear friend love and light..........

Issy wrote a blog in the early days for the Independent and most recently for the Huffington Post here's a link to her warts n all approach to writing and chronicling her fight to the bitter end.
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/ismena-clout/

RIP Polly Noble and Liz Greggory

Polly Noble has passed away she was only 32 and had been fighting aggressive cervical cancer that had spread to other vital organs since she was 24. Polly was a breath of fresh air she was an english Kris Carr. How can someone so young and vibrant be taken so very quickly. Polly was a wellness warrior and wrote books and websites on eating right including raw and green juicing. She didn't smoke or drink yet she still got taken by this fucking disease. I had signed up to Polly's website and would receive regular updates and recipes from her I was starting to think why haven't I had an email from Polly when all of the sudden it dawned on me something had happened. My worst fears were realised when I googled her name and the words funeral came up automatically. I started reading her obituary and tears rolled down, like they have so many times for so many different people some with breast cancer some with other types of cancer in the past 3 and a half years since being dx I've buried at least 20 women all of whom I'd had direct contact with via the internet or by phone, its quite simply shocking. Initially I react by getting tearful and upset then as the realisation of whats happened sinks in I get fucking angry I try not to as I think anger internalised is very very bad for you but my reactions are what they are and I am so angry why oh why oh why and what an utter waste of a caring, compassionate, inspired human being.......words fail me I am at a loss.....


R.I.P. Polly Noble you were a true inspiration and you didn't deserve your unbelievably unkind end.

I've added this today in honour and remembrance of the lovely Liz Gregory I met Liz on line, a fellow secondary breast cancer patient who was amongst others offered tremendous support and help in my hour of need. Liz was a salt of the earth kind of person compassionate and caring always willing to offer help and advice. This fucking cancer has finally got her I pray her passing was calm and that she was free of suffering and pain. As always she leaves behind a family whom now have to pick up the peices and continue without her.

R.I.P. Liz Gregory you will be missed, sending you lots of love and light lovely lady. xxx

My cancer buddie....

I am so so sad, at 1.30 today my dear friend and fellow cancer patient Sarah passed away I've just found out and feel devastated. I had never met her but we had a lot in common. When I was first dx she came to my aid and offered a virtual shoulder to cry on when I was going through the worst of it, she inspired me as another creative (she was an art teacher) I could relate to her on many levels. Every time I pick up my paint brush, or attempt to knit I shall remember my dear dear friend. RIP Sarah G. (aka cromercrab on BCC forum) we shall all miss you I thank the lord she's no longer suffering and pray her transition into the next life was peaceful and calm.  When anyone dies from the SBC group I find it so hard to carry on it takes all my strength to pick myself up and carry on fighting such a blow really does take your breath away. So many have now passed away since I was dx, this is just terrible news. God rest you Sarah G. you were an amazing woman and you shall be missed love to all xxx

Devastated at the loss....

It is with a heavy heart that my post today is on the passing of two women who had been fighting so hard against this bloody awful disease. The first person was Lisa Lynch of http://alrighttit.blogspot.co.uk/2013_03_01_archive.html blog and the excellent book 'The C-Word' Lisa was so incredibly young dx at only 28 years old her blog and book helped me through my own initial shock and subsequent acceptance of the fact that I am now living with cancer. I didn't know Lisa personally but due to her brilliant witty writing style felt that I knew her as a close friend. The second lady was known on the forums as Alesta aka Laurie, again such amazing strength and the courage of a lion she was a true inspiration to all of us on the facebook chat group and on the BCC forum, Laurie told me about the BCC forum she sent me personal messages full of humour, advise and wisdom, she made me feel that I wasn't alone in dealing with all this cancer shit, I loved the fact that she swore her head off, and voiced her opinions, she was true to herself and in being so genuine helped others. Both of these women leave behind family and friends, both were too young. Its rained all day down here and the roads are starting too flood which is how I feel, I have cried a river over these deaths and others since I was dx it never gets any easier. RIP love and light xxx

Today I went for a MRI on my head too make sure that the searing migraines are not something more sinister, spent an hour in there listening to some bloody terrible loud banging noise as the machine scans my head, then another injection of something or other in my hand, poor hand, then more loud noise. Followed by some retail therapy in Primarni and a cuppa coffee with my best friend and then onto the lymphedema clinic for some MLD (manual lymphatic drainage). Feel exhausted and tired so early to bed or I might just camp out on the sofa and try to regain some kind of normal composure. xxx