Bra-less

This is the first time I've shared my remaining massive boob problem. So I've gone from a size 32aa to a 42c its crackers and its taken me time to adjust to the massive boob but Im sick of it, its a constant reminder that Im ill or have been very ill, it hangs there useless and big and shouts out big boob with a problem to all that manage to chance a look. My main problem is I can't wear a bra it hurts me so much, I've worked out that when they took the lymph nodes out they must of taken some out of the torso of my body because I don't get lymphedema in the usual place ie: my arm its on the side of my body where the bra strap crosses, I kid you not it bloody kills if I put a bra on, I wore a bra to a wedding and after an hour wearing it I had to take it off in the loo's as it was killing me. So this leaves me bra less the majority of the time and having to wear things that cover up constantly. Obviously this is having a knock on effect and doesn't help my self confidence at all, the big boob is getting bigger and more droopy and I feel ugly and shit. I wished they'd of taken both the boobs at the same time at least I would be balanced, but they refused saying "I never operate on a healthy breast" uh I have secondary breast cancer both of them are pretty unhealthy. So I've phoned breast care nurse and mentioned this problem to her, she didn't realise this was the reason why I don't wear a bra and sympathised with me but told me this posed a problem that she didn't know the answer to so I'm waiting to hear what she comes up with, she did mention about reconstruction, something I decided against when I had the mastectomy but this might help my current bra less situation, I don't know but will keep you all posted.

Interesting Lymphedema approach....

Just a quickie to post a link to Polly Noble's page on how she cured her Lymphedema I also suffer with this most annoying of ailments caused by having my lymph nodes removed from my mastectomy site and under my arm its supposed to be an incurable condition and its sometimes painful here's the link to what she did to cure herself by the way I do practice nearly all of the things on her list anyway except for the coffee enema which I have been thinking of trying.
http://pollynoble.com/2013/02/the-10-things-i-did-to-heal-my-lymphedema/

Devastated at the loss....

It is with a heavy heart that my post today is on the passing of two women who had been fighting so hard against this bloody awful disease. The first person was Lisa Lynch of http://alrighttit.blogspot.co.uk/2013_03_01_archive.html blog and the excellent book 'The C-Word' Lisa was so incredibly young dx at only 28 years old her blog and book helped me through my own initial shock and subsequent acceptance of the fact that I am now living with cancer. I didn't know Lisa personally but due to her brilliant witty writing style felt that I knew her as a close friend. The second lady was known on the forums as Alesta aka Laurie, again such amazing strength and the courage of a lion she was a true inspiration to all of us on the facebook chat group and on the BCC forum, Laurie told me about the BCC forum she sent me personal messages full of humour, advise and wisdom, she made me feel that I wasn't alone in dealing with all this cancer shit, I loved the fact that she swore her head off, and voiced her opinions, she was true to herself and in being so genuine helped others. Both of these women leave behind family and friends, both were too young. Its rained all day down here and the roads are starting too flood which is how I feel, I have cried a river over these deaths and others since I was dx it never gets any easier. RIP love and light xxx

Today I went for a MRI on my head too make sure that the searing migraines are not something more sinister, spent an hour in there listening to some bloody terrible loud banging noise as the machine scans my head, then another injection of something or other in my hand, poor hand, then more loud noise. Followed by some retail therapy in Primarni and a cuppa coffee with my best friend and then onto the lymphedema clinic for some MLD (manual lymphatic drainage). Feel exhausted and tired so early to bed or I might just camp out on the sofa and try to regain some kind of normal composure. xxx

Yoga, lymphedema, menopause

Started back at Yoga today after a break over the half term and I really was feeling it! It really does help if you keep doing it your stamina and flexibility increase and gradually you are able to do things you would never imagine you would be able to, Yoga is really good for you and I recommend anyone who can to join a gentle form of yoga ie: Kundalini or Hatha Yoga. The bunch of ladies that are in my yoga group are so lovely and always ask me how I am, I have told them what has happened to me I decided that they needed to understand why a woman whose not that old (45) was getting so out of breath and knackered doing the exercises, now I don't get the questioning looks from them.

Good news, I think I'm losing weight, finally!!! cutting out dairy and keeping sugary treats like cakes and pastries to a minimum are working, also the yoga with a good walk at least once a week probably has something to do with it. The Clonidine that I was on for my hot flushes I stopped about 4 months ago has finally worn off, there was a multitude of side effects from it one being weight gain and fluid retention, I'm putting up with the hot flushes and actually they aren't that bad at this time of the year, also drinking more nettle tea which helps with fluid retention and I believe is helping me to release all that water, as I've been going to the toilet more often.

The lymphedema on my right hand side of my body is being moved around by the wonderful lymph nurse who gives me a special massage once every 2 weeks also my partner has learned how to do it for me so if its really bad I get him to push it around this massage always makes me want to pee more often as well. I'm no pre-cancer size 8 but at least I'm not putting anymore weight on and feeling swollen all over my tummy, I think my organs were swollen from the chemo and its taken all this time for them to go back to normal, still got a bloody tummy tho but then what menopausal woman hasn't got a tire tummy it appears to be the norm unfortunately.

My girlfriends who haven't been through menopause just don't get it, however I have warned them what is too come, the menopause is definitely not a walk in the park, hormones are so very important for a woman they govern your life you don't realise it until your not producing them anymore or in my case blocking them with drugs.

Day four of taking the beta blockers that my GP prescribed for the migraines and so far so good, don't want to say any more about that just incase I jinx it!!

Love and light to all xxxxx

The lovely lymph nurse....

I suspected that the pain in my arm and trunk was more than normal mastectomy site mending itself pain and my oncologist referred me to a Lymphedema Nurse called Vikki. I felt a bit strange about going for this appointment because I was dreading the possible prospect of having to wear a compression sleeve and also the nurse is based in our local hospice. I have too say I was pleasantly surprised, the hospice was so calm and blissful a huge manor house converted, very friendly offering you tea and coffee in a comfortable waiting area with big armchairs, I don't really know what I was expecting to find but it certainly was not something as comforting as it proved to be and I no longer have 'the fear' as regards to a hospice.

As for lymphedema I do have it but very mild and early stages which is mainly in my trunk on the side, the pains I was experiencing turned out to be nothing to do with lymphedema but everything to do with my nerves knitting themselves back together (its been a year since my mastectomy). Vikki measured both of my arms and told me that my right arm (which is the affected limb) is 2% larger than my left, although my right arm is my dominant arm anyway so it would always be slightly larger, needless to say I am hugely relieved that all the exercises are paying off and keeping the dam lymphedema at bay.  We had a great chat and I found her to be so sympathetic and understanding.

During the consultation she said would I like to be referred to a Bowen Technique practitioner, I have heard of this complementary treatment and wanted to try it out anyway so was pleased to find that its free of charge on the NHS if your referred by your lymph nurse and a series of appointments have been made. My first appointment was on Friday and was very interesting, a series of light touch movements all over my body and it really did seem to work wonders, aligning and correcting my spine whilst attempting to deal with my side effects ie: migraines/hot flushes/neck and back pain. I will keep you all posted on how I progress with these treatments but I already feel something inside me has clicked and am looking forward to my next session which will be next week.

Taking a dip to activate it.....

So I was pondering why I was so consumed with the need to go for a dip in the sea, we've had a couple of days of sunny weather (finally) lol and I just had to get in the sea. The last time I went for a swim was over 2 year ago prior to my dx. Afterwards I felt a lot better my lymph affected arm was not as swollen, my skin felt amazing and I got a good exercise workout without straining anything (salt water really supports your body). Not being a strong swimmer I am always a bit afraid of going in for a swim in the sea also hate the cold but with the use of a wet suit I was able to stay in for over an hour! I was telling my spiritual healer about it and she reminded me that swimming in cold water or taking a cold shower can kick start the immune system, ah the penny dropped, maybe thats why I wanted to swim in the sea! As a cancer patient my immune system has failed me in not killing off the rogue cells, could be that it needs a good kick up the ass! She also informed me that she knew a couple of elderly ladies one of whom is 85 years old that either take a daily or weekly dip in the sea! The 85 year old swears that it's the one thing that has kept her healthy and helped with anti ageing. 

Four health benefits for cold water swimming.

Although the air temperatures may be up there in the first few weeks of summer, the lake takes a bit longer to heat up, making for those first few dips a bit frigid. Did you know there are actually health benefits to cold water swimming? Consider these four health benefits for cold water swimming to entice you into a pre-summer plunge:

1. Boosts your immune system: Drastic temperature changes to your body causes sudden shock; however scientists from the Czech Republic found this to be a good thing. The scientists immersed subjects in cold water for one hour, three times a week, and monitored their physiology. They found significant increases in white blood cell counts and several other factors relating to the immune system. This was attributed to the cold water being a mild stressor which activates the immune system and gives it some practice.

2. For an all-natural high: Endorphins are the body’s natural pain killers and, in the case of a cold dip, it uses them to take the sting away from your skin. So, to get high on your own supply, all you need to do is jump in the cold pond.

3. Burns calories: Swimming in cold water will make your body work twice as hard to keep you warm and burn more calories in the process.

4. Gets your blood pumping: Being hot brings blood to the surface. Being cold sends it to your organs. Both extremes work your heart like a pump which helps flush your circulation for starters, pushing blood through all your capillaries, veins and arteries. You could get these benefits by switching between the hot and cold taps in your shower, but that doesn’t sound nearly as fun as quick dip in East Lake followed by a warm wrapping afterwards.

Original source http://thenextchallenge.org/2010/02/cold-water-swimming/

So it would seem I need to get over being such a baby when it comes to the cold and kick start my immune system into working properly. Will keep you all posted on my progress. In the meantime here's some links that you might find interesting. 

Love and light to you all x

http://www.secrets-of-longevity-in-humans.com/cold-showers.html

Lymphedema? and the great flood......

Wow another one of those days!! Got bitten on my leg by a horseflie thought to myself I'll go to dr on Monday, then whilst enjoying a brief respite from the pouring rain (I live next village from Yealmpton on national news as it flooded) another of the nasty buggers bitten me this time on my right arm by wrist I've had all the lymph nodes out in that arm and distinctly remember my BCN (breast cancer nurse) saying "not to cause any trauma on that side or it could turn into Lymphedema (see below description) " so was worried sick I ended up phoning the NHS help line and they put me onto a very nice Dr who phoned me back and wrote out a prescription for antihistamines and antibiotics, so now drugged up to the eyeballs on the stuff, it never rains and then it pours excuse the pun!!!!

If any readers have had their lymph nodes out and don't understand the implications of this here's a description of what Lymphedema is. One of the most common causes of lymphedema is removal of the breast (mastectomy) and underarm lymph tissue for breast cancer. This causes lymphedema of the arm in 10 - 15% of patients, because the lymphatic drainage of the arm passes through the armpit (axilla). The main symptom is persistent swelling of the affected limb also note there is no tablet or drug to take that will relieve this symptom and once you have developed it, it can be very hard to reverse the process, the only thing you can do is wear a compression sleeve and of course exercise can manually move the fluid along so it always helps to do the exercises the BCN gave you whilst in recovery from the mastectomy.

On a lighter not I've been busy baking my first loaf of bread today in borrowed breadmaking machine, tasted delicious and I love the fact I know what's in it also baked a sticky toffee pudding smells yummy, sending you all my love and a cyber slice of the sticky toffee xxxxx