Flat chested and happy.........

Its been a fair few weeks now down the line since the 2nd mastectomy and I am feeling a lot better. A couple of weeks after the op I wasn't so impressed I had an infection in my wound which needed antibiotics and I also needed to have the area drained twice again not impressed but managed to get through it, I kept reminding myself I've been through worse and survived and I was right. what didn't help was catching flu around new year that really wiped me out and made it very difficult I was actually throwing up and the pressure of heaving made my scar area fill with fluid hence having to have it drained twice. The bug was much worse than the operation and I am so glad its all over and done with.

New Year new body, new me......


Results in from my latest CT scan are good or rather everything is stable so all in all very positive. I am now just looking at one hospital appointment next week for my 3 weekly Herceptin and then a break from going to hospital or appointments for at least 3 weeks and no intermediate appointments. YAY...... feels good to think I'm through the worst of it, with CT scan done, Oncology appointment done, bloods and echo scan done. Phewwwww

Feeling a lot lot lighter and not walking with a bob out of balance or weird gait anymore as the boob is gone and makes me feel normal I know that sounds strange but the one massive boob was such a pain in the arse and made me feel so abnormal, its the best thing I've ever had done since this whole thing started and I am hopeful that this year will see an improvement on all health fronts because of it. Migraines whilst still there are not as frequent as I was getting them and not quite as intense, neck pain on my left hand side is also not as bad so whilst the migraines cannot be blamed entirely on the boob now its gone I have noticed a difference and its for the better. I am feeling a lot happier although of course it goes with out saying I would of been at my happiest if I had never gotten fucking breast cancer but hey ho.......

All in all everything is proceeding in a positive way and I am feeling a lot better about myself and my new life living with secondary breast cancer.

Getting the balance back

Its been a while since I last posted and I am happy to report, all is ok on the cancer front and I am adjusting to life without the ovaries. Hot flushes are still an unfortunate part of my life and I do hate them BUT winter is coming and the weather is cooler so life becomes less hot and bothered.

Last week I had a appointment with my new oncologist Dr G. is amazing I really get on with her and 

its been a long time since I actually spoke with a full fledged Onc. as my previous Onc. sadly died of liver cancer however, I always seemed to be dealt with by registrars. I've complained a lot of times about feeling out of balance, my size 32 chest has grown to a size 42 on the remaining breast and its a pain, not only is it massive and heavy its exasperated by the fact I can't wear a bra, I've tried every bra known to mankind and none of them are supportive and pain free. My problem is I had a lot of lymph nodes out and due to the fact that I was skinny (size 8 back then) the nodes were in with all the muscle which my surgeon had to dissect, it took him ages and he had to cut through muscle, my armpit area and my torso on the right hand side are badly scarred and so whenever I wear a bra no matter what type it digs into my scar tissue and ends up feeling very painful, so much so that I have to take the bra off after only half an hour! So this leaves me not wearing a bra most of the time and feeling very out of balance, Dr G. could see how out of balance I was carrying myself and suggested that she would refer me to a breast surgeon who could perform a mastectomy of the left hand side breast as a life enhancing operation. Fantastic! So I am now waiting for an appointment to see a breast surgeon and whilst they have a policy of not operating on a healthy breast they might when they realise how out of balance I carry myself and the ramifications of this on my body and life. Considering they perform breast enlargement on the NHS I think this isn't a big ask, considering what I've got and what I've been through. Dr G did explain that it wouldn't be this year as its not an emergency which is fine by me, I'd rather have it next year anyway. So fingers crossed this will happen and I will be rid of the massive boob that blights my life.

Bra-less

This is the first time I've shared my remaining massive boob problem. So I've gone from a size 32aa to a 42c its crackers and its taken me time to adjust to the massive boob but Im sick of it, its a constant reminder that Im ill or have been very ill, it hangs there useless and big and shouts out big boob with a problem to all that manage to chance a look. My main problem is I can't wear a bra it hurts me so much, I've worked out that when they took the lymph nodes out they must of taken some out of the torso of my body because I don't get lymphedema in the usual place ie: my arm its on the side of my body where the bra strap crosses, I kid you not it bloody kills if I put a bra on, I wore a bra to a wedding and after an hour wearing it I had to take it off in the loo's as it was killing me. So this leaves me bra less the majority of the time and having to wear things that cover up constantly. Obviously this is having a knock on effect and doesn't help my self confidence at all, the big boob is getting bigger and more droopy and I feel ugly and shit. I wished they'd of taken both the boobs at the same time at least I would be balanced, but they refused saying "I never operate on a healthy breast" uh I have secondary breast cancer both of them are pretty unhealthy. So I've phoned breast care nurse and mentioned this problem to her, she didn't realise this was the reason why I don't wear a bra and sympathised with me but told me this posed a problem that she didn't know the answer to so I'm waiting to hear what she comes up with, she did mention about reconstruction, something I decided against when I had the mastectomy but this might help my current bra less situation, I don't know but will keep you all posted.