Flat chested and happy.........

Its been a fair few weeks now down the line since the 2nd mastectomy and I am feeling a lot better. A couple of weeks after the op I wasn't so impressed I had an infection in my wound which needed antibiotics and I also needed to have the area drained twice again not impressed but managed to get through it, I kept reminding myself I've been through worse and survived and I was right. what didn't help was catching flu around new year that really wiped me out and made it very difficult I was actually throwing up and the pressure of heaving made my scar area fill with fluid hence having to have it drained twice. The bug was much worse than the operation and I am so glad its all over and done with.

New Year new body, new me......


Results in from my latest CT scan are good or rather everything is stable so all in all very positive. I am now just looking at one hospital appointment next week for my 3 weekly Herceptin and then a break from going to hospital or appointments for at least 3 weeks and no intermediate appointments. YAY...... feels good to think I'm through the worst of it, with CT scan done, Oncology appointment done, bloods and echo scan done. Phewwwww

Feeling a lot lot lighter and not walking with a bob out of balance or weird gait anymore as the boob is gone and makes me feel normal I know that sounds strange but the one massive boob was such a pain in the arse and made me feel so abnormal, its the best thing I've ever had done since this whole thing started and I am hopeful that this year will see an improvement on all health fronts because of it. Migraines whilst still there are not as frequent as I was getting them and not quite as intense, neck pain on my left hand side is also not as bad so whilst the migraines cannot be blamed entirely on the boob now its gone I have noticed a difference and its for the better. I am feeling a lot happier although of course it goes with out saying I would of been at my happiest if I had never gotten fucking breast cancer but hey ho.......

All in all everything is proceeding in a positive way and I am feeling a lot better about myself and my new life living with secondary breast cancer.

Life goes on.....

We are still coming to terms with the tragic loss of our lovely Ted we also found out on the same day that one of my close friends mother had lost her battle with Myeloma Cancer we were dx at the same time 3 years ago and had built up a support network for each other both of us enjoying juicing and living life healthy then wallop she's gone, the chemo she had been on stopped working this coupled with a fall in the night where she broke her leg (she was 70) was the final straw and she was put in the hospice and never came out. We will be going to her funeral tomorrow and yet again I am reminded how fragile our existence really is. The weird thing was Christine was also an avid cat lover maybe Ted and Christine are together I know he's in good hands with her. Its so hard Teddy was such a character cat and loved the woodland garden. We walked down through bluebell wood this afternoon and it was stunning somehow it just didn't seem the same without Teddy he loved this time of year.

So, life moves on. Lee has booked up his training course for the offshore Rigging in May and will be away for a week and a half when he returns we will take the next step and see about getting him some offshore work for a 3 week period after which we will be able to afford to move which is what we both want now more than ever due to our recent loss.

I had an oncologist appointment to find out what the hell was going on with the 'something' on my Liver apparently the radiologist wont budge and continues to sit on the fence ie: he wont say whether or not it is cancer. So we are back in square one again and I'm to have yet another blasted CT scan in about 6 weeks time!!! because of the back log. I ask you this is so fucking out of order. I feel like giving up. Then I was asked about my migraines to which I replied yes still getting them infact they have increased last week I had 3 and so far I've woken every day this week with a migraine. Thanks to Sumatriptan I am able to function but its not good to wake daily with extreme nausea and a pounding headache so now they want to do an MRI scan on my head to determine if its cancer or just normal migraine stuff, like ya do!!! The only plus from the appointment was that she (registrar not onc) asked how I was doing on the Tamoxifen I decided as we were being honest and open that I would let rip about the shit. I told her about my aching joints and my massive weight gain nearly 4 stone! she agreed that the side effects were extreme (not everyone will react this way) and that weight gain was definitely a result of taking the drug, they have decided to re-check my blood and see if I am through the menopause if I am then they will take me off the dreaded Tamoxifen and replace with another AI that apparently does not cause weight gain although the joint pain might increase. I don't mind this as my joints are taking a bashing with all this excess weight that I've been carrying around. Bloody hope and pray I am through the menopause. It was left that I shall go back for results in July!! seems like a long flipping wait then! Going to see GP about changing hospital only trouble is I'm worried that if I do it now that things could be forgotten about during the transition, so not sure whether its bad timing to change at the moment.

I've been trying to paint but all this shit the deaths, the drugs, just general cancer shite doesn't inspire me to be creative. However I have managed to finish one painting and I've got some prints done so will drop off at a lovely gallery in Weston.

Will keep you posted as too the Liver and now the Head crap. xx

Migraines doing my head in.......

Yesterday I spent the whole day in bed the cause another migraine, accompanied by the usual vomiting and nausea, didn't eat anything until about 8 at night because of the sickness makes me feel like I don't want to carry on anymore dammed fucking headache it pisses me off so much, the only thing I can do is attempt to remedy it with a cocktail of drugs starting off with Sumatriptan which failed followed by 2 paracetamol and an anti-sickness tablet the sickness tablet worked but the paracetamol was just not strong enough ended up taking 2 codeine which finally hit the spot as well as knocking me out and making me feel totally spaced out and not on this planet. At my last onc appointment it was decided that I would have an MRI scan on my head just to make sure nothing sinister was going on in the upstairs department still haven't had an appointment time for this yet.

Needed a bit of a moan about it as it is getting me down. On the upside I managed to operate normally today and am enjoying a bit of cooking so going to have some lovely healthy root veg and lentil casserole with a piece of salmon and some watercress sauce yum yum xxxxx

Initial thoughts on Acupuncture

Today I went for my first ever session of acupuncture I have never tried this treatment before and was a little apprehensive (not liking needles very much) but all went well, the practitioner was a delightful lady by the name of Sam, the room was clean and comfortable and the whole experience was very positive, initially we talked about how I'd found out about my cancer and I explained a few details about it ie: ER+ herceptin etc Sam then informed me that she would be using the Tao philosophy accompanied by other astrological factors like my date of birth to ascertain where the in balance existed in my chakra's, she continued to tell me that my Chinese astrological sign was that of a Goat and that I had too much fire and not enough metal/air/water elements and that this needed to be addressed, upon examination (she took my pulse) she said my pulse was sort of looping and although on the face of things I looked well with plenty of energy she felt that this was not quite what was actually happening, my stomach she told me was very taught and I know this too be true I thought it may be bloated or extended due to the drugs but Sam thinks its more to do with my sub-concious self holding stuff in and not letting go properly, she then proceeded to place 3 needles in one on my hand and two on my foot and leg, whilst the needles were in Sam focused on giving me some healing (something I am very used to as I go for spiritual healing weekly) she left the needles in for 20 mins and then removed them.

Afterwards I felt very relaxed and calm and sam told me that she was trying to treat the problems I had outlined in our initial discussion 1) hot flushes 2) constipation 3) migraine's for this session she had focused on treating the constipation and hot flushes she recommended that I have another 2 sessions to treat the other complaints.

I would recommend anyone for this type of treatment as long as its an approved and qualified practitioner, my first impression is that I found it too be most calming and soothing, I will keep posting as to how effective it is over the next few sessions.

Banging headache

So after a lovely evening on friday talking about Leylines and meeting new friends, woke up with a banging headache again..... took some paracetamol/codeine which knocked me out and put in no position to go over to Lee's parents for the bar-b-que so spent the day by myself dozing on the pills and watching the jubilee pageant on the tv, starting to worry about the headaches I always used to suffer with migraines before getting breast cancer I always put it down to hormonal headaches that accompanied my monthly periods, obviously now that I am in early menopause (thanks to chemo and tamoxifen) I don't get periods and so the migraines stopped for a while, started getting them back every month and figured they were the same old migraines I had before, had a really bad episode whilst at the hospital back in Jan (see post 'day from hell') had a quick emergency ct on the brain which showed nothing bad but am starting to worry they are something more sinister it's such a nightmare. Will be going to a appointment on Friday to get the result's of a routine check of the neck and torso ct done last month so will mention the migraines then.

Beautiful weather today, typical that it was raining for the Jubilee parade yesterday, oh well the sun shines today and my headache has nearly gone.

xx

Radiation, juicing, and the wii

Been zapped with the radiotherapy today day 4 got to go everyday until the 25th Jan, went fine yesterday and today was feeling very tired/fatigued yesterday and ended up sleeping in the afternoon, feel ok today went out for a walk this afternoon very refreshing and feel better for it. Thinking that the episode I had last friday with the migraine/sickness was to do with my hormones as originally thought and not a reaction to the rads thankfully, cause I got a long way to go with the rads.

Started green juicing today first time since the beginning of the year I was going to wait until I'd finished this last lot of treatment but decided that it wont hurt to start juicing now even if I'm still eating stuff I should not be like chocolate and carbs like potatoes, will stop eating all bad foods when I've finished the rads until then I feel I going to eat what I want when I want. Have too say that the juicing is going well and I don't mind that its winter and cold, a lot of people complain that juicing in the winter does not suit them, I can relate to this but have built up a tolerance for juicing as I have been dong this since the beginning. I'm going to start a page with my own juicing recipes.

We were given a wii for xmas and I started doing yoga on it today, its quite good but will keep you posted of my progress, there is a class in the next village but it cost a whopping £5 quid and I just cannot afford that every week so next best thing is the wii at least it tells you if your doing the moves right.

The day from hell!!!

Yesterday I woke up with a banging migraine headache accompanied by the usual nausea/sickness I say usual cause before I was thrown into early menopause by the chemo I used too suffer this migraine/sickness every month with my period, so yesterday woke up feeling terrible and this time was actually sick so phoned the hospital to tell them I was sick cause I am on day 3 of rads, the radiographer told me to still come in as the drs would want to see me, eventually made it into hospital (takes 45 minutes to get there) and was sick on the way twice, saw my onc (which surprised me as I never get to see him its always his registrar) told him about my history with migraines and periods but he decided we needed to scan my head, What!!! just to make sure I didn't have cancer on the brain!!!! What!! This thought never crossed my mind and totally freaked me out understandably, so no waiting 2 weeks for an appointment in to the CT scanner straight away I didn't have to drink the nasty tasting drink they give you straight on the ct scan bed for a brain scan within an hour they told me it looked fine and that I probably did just have a migraine, then I saw the registrar who was concerned that I may have meningitis ummmm where did that come from meningitis!! During all of this I was being sick almost on the hour every hour running into toilets in the hospital and throwing my guts up, it was the 2nd worst day of my life I say 2nd cause DX day get's to be the 1st and worst. I tried to take some pain killers for the migraine but they didn't work and I threw them up anyway, eventually my onc came back to me and said I could either have my rads treatment or go home I choose to go home and crawl into bed where eventually I managed to get rid of the headache and with that gone the sickness went. What a day tho, I mean it was an utter nightmare from beginning to end. I think maybe it was my usual migraine/sickness/period thing but I haven't had a period for 9 months and I am still on herceptin and tamoxifen, I'm wondering what triggered it, maybe the rads will enquire further and keep posting.