RIP Dr Stephen Kelly

It is with a heavy heart that I can now report that my consultant Dr Stephen Kelly passed away last week. I found out by chance as I phoned his secretary to ask why I hadn't received a letter telling me when to come in for my CT scan results, it's been 8 weeks! This has happened before so I didn't think much of it and presumed my results were probably OK, but the real reason is because Dr Kelly had passed away and thrown the whole of oncology into turmoil. There were rumours and whispers of liver cancer but I thought he'd beaten it, apparently he had not. It doesn't seem right that someone devoted to treating patients of cancer should fall foul of the very same thing. I am in total shock and feel floored by this sad news. Now more than ever I need to move my care to a new hospital with a new Consultant. The other Dr's at my hospital do not inspire any great confidence and I've not really had very good experiences with them. Dr Kelly was by far the best if not at the hospital then defiantly in my area.

Absolutely gutted.

Fun in the Sun....

Its been a while since I posted mainly due to the arrival of summer in all her glory, living in South Devon we are spoilt for choice when it comes to gorgeous beaches and plenty of messing around on the water, so as you will of gathered I have been playing and enjoying myself instead of moaning and feeling depressed, its true the weather really does play an important role in your mental health. I've spent a fair few hours swimming in the sea (it really was that hot!) the sea salt worked wonders on my poor arm, I got bitten by another horse fly and reacted very badly too it, my whole arm swelled up luckily not my affected side but unfortunately the side the nurse has to stick the needle in for my Herceptin, so I got a week off the stuff to allow the arm to heal and just in case it turned into septicaemia! Horse fly's are utter bastards!

As far as planet Cancer is concerned I have some shocking news my best friend's sister in law aged early 50's was diagnosed with Lung Cancer which by the time they had found it had spread onto all of her bones it took two weeks from being diagnosed to her passing, everyone is left in complete shock she leaves behind 3 daughters the youngest is 15, its crazy shit and it doesn't get more scarier than that.

As far as my cancer is concerned I'm ok at the moment, I've been and seen my Onc. who agrees with me about the dammed Tamoxifen, I kid you not when I say I've put on 4 stone!!! this is just crazy weight gain never before have I been this big I was always a size 8!!!! so this along with my very very achey cramped legs and feet have made my Onc. request a ton of blood tests and if they come back ok then she really will have too do something about the Tamoxifen I have way too many side effects and she told me that if I am post menopausal then I have a far greater choice of hormonal drugs to try, an appointment is booked for the results at the end of August and as always I will keep you informed. Another slight annoyance is an itch on my left breast (I had an itch on my right breast and then found advanced BC!) its gone today and I'm praying it was just something itchy in my top that was annoying me of course it doesn't help being so blasted hot and bothered (hot flush central) I now sleep with the fan pointing at my face and I am happy to report it works yipeeeee!!!

That just about wraps it up for today's post of course I will keep you all informed about results etc but in the mean time enjoy the remainder of the summer and treasure those blissful moments. xxx

Arty trip to London......

Just got back from a 2 day trip up to the big smoke and for once it was a real pleasure, we drove right up to the front of the RA (Royal Academy) found a car parking space!!!! and I was able to casually walk my painting in to the processing room for submission all over within the space of 10 mins brilliant. Afterwards we had an appointment at Christies Auction house (my friend who came up to London with us has a painting that turns out to be an original Edward Lear and is worth a fortune! crickey!!) he's left the painting with Christies for conservation purposes and looks like its going to auction in June, it was so fascinating and we also had a good look round their galleries taking in Andy Warhols, Turners etc like ya do!!! lol. All in all a thoroughly great day out in London one of the best ever and very arty too.
Back to reality now with a bump, tomorrow I have an appointment at the hospital with the results of my blood test (to see whether or not I'm through the menopause) and my MRI too check I have nothing sinister going on in my head because of all the migraines, so gulp!! here goes back to biting my nails and horrendous intense worry, its all part of the cancer territory I suppose, I pray too god that its all ok.

Migraines doing my head in.......

Yesterday I spent the whole day in bed the cause another migraine, accompanied by the usual vomiting and nausea, didn't eat anything until about 8 at night because of the sickness makes me feel like I don't want to carry on anymore dammed fucking headache it pisses me off so much, the only thing I can do is attempt to remedy it with a cocktail of drugs starting off with Sumatriptan which failed followed by 2 paracetamol and an anti-sickness tablet the sickness tablet worked but the paracetamol was just not strong enough ended up taking 2 codeine which finally hit the spot as well as knocking me out and making me feel totally spaced out and not on this planet. At my last onc appointment it was decided that I would have an MRI scan on my head just to make sure nothing sinister was going on in the upstairs department still haven't had an appointment time for this yet.

Needed a bit of a moan about it as it is getting me down. On the upside I managed to operate normally today and am enjoying a bit of cooking so going to have some lovely healthy root veg and lentil casserole with a piece of salmon and some watercress sauce yum yum xxxxx

Reconstruction surgery questions and answers....

Sorry its been a while since I posted but I have been for one of my scans and appointments, cutting to the chase my appointment with breast surgeon, he was offering me a reconstruction but I wanted to ask some questions here are my questions and his answers (you never know this might help you if you are in a similar position).

1. "If I have a reconstruction will it trigger anymore tumours?" ( I figured that messing with the mastectomy site might not be a good idea and that it could have the extremely detrimental effect of causing the cancer to return) Dr. D's  reply " I can't say yes or no to that but in my extensive experience of breast surgery and the fact that this is what I do all day every day and its what I would like to perform for any breast cancer patient I would advise you that there is a possibility that opening you up and giving you a recon could cause the cancer to return!"

2. "If I do have a recon with an implant would the implant obscure the view for any further scans I might have to have in the future" Dr. D's reply "yes, it could obscure and hide the back of the chest wall to CT and other scans".

Dr D. then went on to say "These questions are well thought out valid questions, and as you have not come in here demanding a recon, I would advise you not to go ahead with these operations and feel this would be in your best interests".

So as you can gather I wont be having a reconstruction based on the answers he gave me and my own intuition on the subject, also as I have secondaries on my lungs I might need further emergency operations in the future (heaven forbid this happens to me but lets get real), my poor little body has been through enough, so I am going to save up my surgery options incase it is needed in the future.

On another matter he did mention that he'd taken a quick look at my bone scans and told me all looked well on that front, although I wont get my official results back until my oncologist appointment in December after my CT scan which is next week. So I am back in the waiting room which is never a nice place to be in but ignorance is bliss they say so I am enjoying a brief respite from worry and stress.
Love and light to you all. xxx