The month where if anybody says the P word to me I'll scream

Yes its that time of year again the air is cooler (thank god my hot flushes are off the scale!), the nights are drawing in, the leaves are falling all of these things I love but what I don't like is the bloody way people now call October Pinktober or words to that effect.... it makes my blood boil! Good natured well meaning people are duped into buying a product because it has the breast cancer logo splashed all over it and coloured it pink, what these good people don't realise is only a tiny amount of the money taken for the product actually goes to the breast cancer charity, hardly anything at all, certainly not enough to make a massive difference it just means that every October these companies get extra exposure under the cover of charity. Its a massive marketing campaign and yet again is clouded by money.

Back to the reality of living with secondary breast cancer, last week I had my flu jab (as I am immune compromised) which made me feel terrible I spent the whole week in bed, feeling very sick, achey (more than the usual) and plagued by migraines......the bain of my life. Today I awoke to the sinking feeling where I feel sick to the pit of my stomach and then the head throbs back on the sumatriptan and knock out drops....... just woke up and the whole flipping day has gone again.

Saw my GP last week and am to have another blood test for the thyroid so onwards and upwards, will keep you all informed if it does work out to be the thyroid gland.

Still feeling hot hot hot! but my lovely GP has upped the anti-depressants to 20mg a day so that should start taking effect shortly on the flushes that are the second bain of my life.

Best get on with whatever I have left of today.

Back to business as usual.... Zoladex

Tomorrow I get my 2nd shot of Zoladex the first hit wasn't good and now I am dreading this next one. Its not the injection got over my fear of needles back in 2011 when having chemo and the continued Herceptin no its the size of the fucker. It's massive I mean this thing is huge. Of course now I know what to expect I am expecting horrendous pain urghhh life doesn't get any easier. The last shot did work immediately and stopped the dammed period and I haven't had any period pain since that last one so reckon it could of closed the ovaries down for good. Which would be a blessed relief and one less trip to the hospital every month. Looking forward to going out with my best friend afterwards for a small shopping trip there's always a silver lining.

Update - Thanks to the Tamoxifen tire around my middle I didn't even feel the needle go in this time last time it did hurt, so all in all pleased with that. Suppose there's got to be some compensation for having a fat tummy eh!!!

Still weighing up the pro's and con's of having ovaries removed. Here's an interesting article in The Mail http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3031006/The-hell-surgical-menopause-s-not-just-Angelina-Jolie-women-opting-life-saving-operations-carry-cruel-price.html
which goes into the nightmare side effects of a forced surgical, early, menopause. I am and have been in menopause for the past 4 years ever since that first chemo injection the hot flushes have been horrendous this isn't just a little bit of heat its a full on pressure cooker on fire, turning bright red in the face so everyone looks at you with that quizzical "whats wrong with you" face on, the sweat pouring down your face, feeling really sick so bad I have to take anti-sickness meds, sticking my head in the freezer is about the only way of relieving the effects and I'm 4 years down the road. I'm wondering if I do have my ovaries out if the menopausal side effects will continue or even dare I say it get worse!!!! All considerations and questions to ask Onc. as well as possibly asking to have other massive breast removed as I feel so out of balance and hate hate hate the remaining breast. Lots to ask on the next appointment.