Finally a Hot Flush Fixer!!!!

After trying a myriad of methods, treatments and therapies to rid myself of the dreaded sweating, nausea, and hot hot hot feeling (not in a good sunbathing way), I've finally think I may of found something its called Magnesium Citrate and is available from all good health shops you need a high dose not more than 350 mgs a day but it really really works, I've not had one so far today, usually I would be on hot flush and symptoms no 11 by now sometimes even worse, like every 5mins! It was getting ridiculous, to the point of wanting to live in a cold shower or just lie down and die! which I know sounds stupid but honestly this thing the menopause is no joke and for some of us doomed to suffer either from a natural menopause or a chemically induced one it affects all areas of your life. Making you so depressed you just want to end it all. Please don't underestimate how shit it makes you feel its NOT as suggested to me like going to a hot country and sunning yourself, its horrific.

Any women reading this and think they have tried everything just try this Magnesium Citrate not only does it help with your hot flushes it also helps with feeling tired and helps you if your constipated, I honestly can't recommend this enough.

Here we go again hot hot hot.......

Yep you guessed it they are back with revenge hot flushes sort of disappeared for a couple of months and then wham all of a sudden they return with full force in fact they are worse than ever! Before I'd get hot sweat a bit and then it would stop these buggers apparently triggered by the Zoladex (and exasperated by the summer) are the mother of all hot flushes I've experienced whole days of feeling like my entire body is constantly on a hot flush I kid you not this is utter hell!!! So today when the up beat nurse enquired if all was ok on Zoladex I replied no actually I am living in a perpetual burning hell to which she looked at me with that oh I'm so sorry look and promptly went off to discuss with my consultant. (I don't usually moan to them in the hospital about things but I  am glad I didn't do the usual and say" yeah every things fine" NOT!!!  When she returned from the chat with my Onc. it was suggested I go on Megace progesterone tablet apparently this will stop the hot flushes in there tracks BUT as always there are side effects including my pet hate of more fucking weight gain urghhhhh........ and bloody migraines........wonderful so I wont feel like my whole body is on fire anymore but the downside is I wont be able to function ie: move about because of the incredible weight gain and I probably wont be able to get out of bed anyway because of the bloody migraine. Not sure what to do maybe I should try the Megace and monitor whether the weight is piling on if so stop taking it oh what a conundrum and one I'd rather not have to make, who'd of thought I'd be pondering this shit eh!!! 

Here's what it says on the Macmillan site about the drug:

Megestrol can also be used to improve symptoms such as hot flushes or loss of appetite. Hormones are substances produced naturally in the body. They act as chemical messengers and help control the activity of cells and organs. Hormonal therapies interfere with the way hormones are made or how they work in the body.

Many cancers rely on hormones to grow. Megestrol is a drug that is similar to the female sex hormone progesterone. It may work by interfering with the hormone balance in the body, which may stop the cancer growing. It may also act directly on cancer cells so that they can’t grow.

Your doctor will discuss the length of treatment that they feel is appropriate for your situation. Treatment may continue for as long as it is effective in controlling your cancer.

and the possible side effects drawing attention to the text highlighted in Red:

We explain the most common side effects of megestrol here. But we don’t include all the rare ones that are unlikely to affect you. You may get some of the side effects we mention, but you are very unlikely to get all of them. If you are having other drugs as well, you may have some side effects that we don’t list here.

Always tell your cancer doctor or nurse about the side effects you have. They can prescribe drugs to help control some side effects and they can give you advice about managing them.

Increased appetite
The most common side effect is feeling hungrier than usual, which may cause you to gain weight. This effect on your appetite will go away when you stop taking the drug. If you’re worried about gaining weight, talk to your doctor or nurse.

Sometimes megestrol is used to help improve appetite in people who have lost interest in food and are losing weight. 

Swollen hands, feet and ankles
Your hands, feet and ankles may swell because of fluid building up in them. This is not harmful, but can be uncomfortable. Tell your doctor or nurse if you notice any swelling. The swelling will get better after your treatment ends.

Tiredness
You may feel tired and lack energy while taking megestrol. Pace yourself if you feel tired. Try to balance rest periods with some physical activity.
Feeling sick and indigestion

Some people feel sick, especially during the first few weeks of taking megestrol. Tell your doctor if you are affected. They can prescribe treatment to help.

Mood changes
Megestrol may cause changes to your mood. You may feel anxious or restless. You may also have mood swings or problems sleeping. Tell your doctor or nurse if you have any of these side effects. They can make changes to your treatment if the side effects become a problem.
Skin rashes

Some people experience skin rashes. Tell your doctor if this occurs.

Vaginal bleeding in women
Occasionally, women may have light vaginal bleeding (spotting). Let your doctor know if this happens. When you stop taking the drug you may have some bleeding from the vagina, similar to a period.

Don't want to put on anymore weight but equally don't want to end up a puddle of water so what to do, maybe not take it, more weight gain would finish me off. urghhhhh its not easy living with this shit.

Back to business as usual.... Zoladex

Tomorrow I get my 2nd shot of Zoladex the first hit wasn't good and now I am dreading this next one. Its not the injection got over my fear of needles back in 2011 when having chemo and the continued Herceptin no its the size of the fucker. It's massive I mean this thing is huge. Of course now I know what to expect I am expecting horrendous pain urghhh life doesn't get any easier. The last shot did work immediately and stopped the dammed period and I haven't had any period pain since that last one so reckon it could of closed the ovaries down for good. Which would be a blessed relief and one less trip to the hospital every month. Looking forward to going out with my best friend afterwards for a small shopping trip there's always a silver lining.

Update - Thanks to the Tamoxifen tire around my middle I didn't even feel the needle go in this time last time it did hurt, so all in all pleased with that. Suppose there's got to be some compensation for having a fat tummy eh!!!

Still weighing up the pro's and con's of having ovaries removed. Here's an interesting article in The Mail http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3031006/The-hell-surgical-menopause-s-not-just-Angelina-Jolie-women-opting-life-saving-operations-carry-cruel-price.html
which goes into the nightmare side effects of a forced surgical, early, menopause. I am and have been in menopause for the past 4 years ever since that first chemo injection the hot flushes have been horrendous this isn't just a little bit of heat its a full on pressure cooker on fire, turning bright red in the face so everyone looks at you with that quizzical "whats wrong with you" face on, the sweat pouring down your face, feeling really sick so bad I have to take anti-sickness meds, sticking my head in the freezer is about the only way of relieving the effects and I'm 4 years down the road. I'm wondering if I do have my ovaries out if the menopausal side effects will continue or even dare I say it get worse!!!! All considerations and questions to ask Onc. as well as possibly asking to have other massive breast removed as I feel so out of balance and hate hate hate the remaining breast. Lots to ask on the next appointment.

Zoladex v Oophorectomy

A week ago after 4 years in menopause my body decided to have a last hurrah and I had a period WTF!! I have never felt so low honestly even when I was dx I didn't feel this low but I was really really down, suicidal and depressed then I started to get the old period pains and thought eh up what's this! then I got the period fairly light but so dammed painful. All of a sudden things started to click into place I hadn't had a blasted hot flush for at least a week, my skin was incredibly spotty and I was feeling like I used to feel before I got dx utterly depressed obviously I was producing oestrogen and whilst I would love not to have the menopausal symptoms I definitely wouldn't want to swap it for the period related symptoms and the obvious one cancer! So reluctantly I phoned my onc's secretary told her she relayed this to Onc. who got her to phone me back with an immediate appt. the following day, wonders will never cease! The discussion was how to deal with the period and it was decided that I've to add yet another fucking drug to my arsenal of Zoladex implant. This consists of a heavy duty needle injected into your tummy (thank fuck for the tire around my stomach otherwise it would of been horrendously painful) I'm to have a low dose at first for the first 3 injections every 3 weeks then every 3 months thereafter. Urghhhhhh.............. 

So within hours the period stopped and I started to feel less agitated anxious and depressed I was ultra surprised at how quickly this thing works! Straight away the old hot flushes returned and the headaches were back but at least I didn't feel suicidal! However, I'm thinking whats the point in having these injections why not just have the buggers removed? I'm now trying to figure out what the pros and cons of having such an operation would entail and how it would affect my life afterwards. Weirdly enough Angelina Jolie Pitt has just had this very same operation in her attempts to thwart the getting cancer (she has an incredibly high risk to getting both breast and ovarian cancer) she's had them out and is now on hormonal patches to help with the menopausal side effects. Of course for us breast cancer hormonal ladies having HRT by way of patches or anything else is not an option so its like going cold turkey with nothing to alleviate the effects BUT I have been going through this menopausal thing for 4 years already surely this shit stops at some point!!!! I need to work this thing out when I have more info I will post it and list the pro's and con's it might help someone else who is faced with this dilemma.

MRI results.... or not.....

After a brilliant couple of days up in London I landed back in reality with a hard bump as I had an onc appointment the next day it was supposed to be a follow up of my latest MRI scan on my head and a blood test. After waiting for what seemed like an age actually was an hour, the very nice chinese registrar called Kevin informed me that the radiologist hadn't written a report yet!!! which is completely bonkers as I had the scan about a month ago which is plenty of time for them to do the report understandably I was annoyed, Kevin then informed me that my new consultant and himself has looked at the scan and they couldn't see anything sinister on it at this point I started to breath again BUT they are not radiographers so I still have to await the written report so I'm not out of the woods yet!! I'm too phone up the  hospital if I don't hear back from them in the next 2 weeks. The results of the blood test to determine my menopausal status were inconclusive and he said I was peri-menopausal which is a load of bullshit because I'm definitely in menopause I am living in hot flush central and haven't had a period since all the chemo started back in April 201 and have a nice thick tire wedge of weight around my middle (first time in my life), so that was a complete waste of time. To top it all I'm still having the dame bloody headaches which is why I had a MRI scan in the beginning. Deep breath.......count to 10 and ..... breathe.