Ovaries v Zoladex

On Friday I had an appointment at the hospital in a new department the Gynaecology dept. it was my first consultation on the possible removal of my ovaries and apparently tubes. I've been on Zoladex which is a 3 monthly injection with the largest needle possible of an implant through the stomach to shut down my ovaries, this works very well and apart from the very unpleasant brace yourself injection, nothing else bothered me (or so I thought), every time I go for the injection I become anxious and experience a panic attack, so afterwards I feel extremely fraught and fragile.

The consultant I saw was a very pleasant man although have too say why are gynaecologist's always men? I would of rather of seen a female. Back to the story..... he explained to me that Zoladex shuts my ovaries down and that taking my ovaries and tubes out would basically remove the need for this unpleasant injection, also he mentioned that some women experience very depressed feelings and this explains that whilst I am on anti-depressants for the hot flushes I still experience extremely depressed moods and thought I was going crackers but clearly I'm not! I realise it's the Zoladex. We discussed the possible repercussions of having both ovaries out to which he seemed to think I would feel no different than what I do presently as the Zoladex had officially closed my ovaries down. So I am now waiting for another appointment in 3 months time, in the meantime I need to decide if I definitely want to have the operation, get a smear test yuk, and a Braca's gene test, I don't think I've had this test done so far and apparently if confirmed positive would increase the possibility of developing a womb cancer and of course increasing the possibility of breast cancer returning.

So what to do....... I thought I was sure about this but now feel a bit weirded out by it, will keep you all informed of my decision in the meantime if anybody reading this can advise I would be most appreciative, just leave a comment thanks xxxx

MRI results.... or not.....

After a brilliant couple of days up in London I landed back in reality with a hard bump as I had an onc appointment the next day it was supposed to be a follow up of my latest MRI scan on my head and a blood test. After waiting for what seemed like an age actually was an hour, the very nice chinese registrar called Kevin informed me that the radiologist hadn't written a report yet!!! which is completely bonkers as I had the scan about a month ago which is plenty of time for them to do the report understandably I was annoyed, Kevin then informed me that my new consultant and himself has looked at the scan and they couldn't see anything sinister on it at this point I started to breath again BUT they are not radiographers so I still have to await the written report so I'm not out of the woods yet!! I'm too phone up the  hospital if I don't hear back from them in the next 2 weeks. The results of the blood test to determine my menopausal status were inconclusive and he said I was peri-menopausal which is a load of bullshit because I'm definitely in menopause I am living in hot flush central and haven't had a period since all the chemo started back in April 201 and have a nice thick tire wedge of weight around my middle (first time in my life), so that was a complete waste of time. To top it all I'm still having the dame bloody headaches which is why I had a MRI scan in the beginning. Deep breath.......count to 10 and ..... breathe.