I'll Find My Way Home.....

Yesterday was a mixed bag of conflicting emotions on the one hand I was boosted by feeling enlightened with the Wounded Healer stuff and then I dove head long into a deep depression the only explanation for this is probably my hormones and the overall helplessness of my situation. I really want to stop having Herceptin and Zoladex but I know it would be the end. However, I am not afraid to die after all we are all heading in the same direction and no one can cheat death BUT I suppose I've still got something to accomplish on this planet and the survival instinct kicks in and you carry on taking the drugs plodding along on a knifes edge waiting for the next twist in the road or rather knowing there will be another twist in the road. I actually told my partner he would be better off without me and that I wanted to "stop the world from spinning cause I wanna get off." This all happened yesterday afternoon so I went to bed feeling suicidal and very low I woke up this morning at 5am not feeling any better but as I've experienced in the past a song running over and over again in my head and its not a song I've ever bought or even liked so I assume its another message from spirit as 'they' must know how bad I am feeling todays song was I'll Find My Way Home by Jon and Vangelis. If I wake up that early I have to get up otherwise it will develop into a migraine so I got up and looked the song up on my phone the lyrics shocked me, I didn't realise it was actually a prayer dressed up as an 80's pop song which is very deep with multi layered meanings. Here's the lyrics and the song on youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9Y3m7fisOU

You ask me where to begin
Am I so lost in my sin
You ask me where did I fall
I'll say I can't tell you when
But if my spirit is lost
How will I find what is near
Don't question I'm not alone
Somehow I'll find my way home

My sun shall rise in the east
So shall my heart be at peace
And if you're asking me when
I'll say it starts at the end
You know your will to be free
Is matched with love secretly
And talk will alter your prayer
Somehow you'll find you are there.

Your friend is close by your side
And speaks in far ancient tongue
A seasons wish will come true
All seasons begin with you
One world we all come from
One world we melt into one

Just hold my hand and we're there
Somehow we're going somewhere
Somehow we're going somewhere

You ask me where to begin
Am I so lost in my sin
You ask me where did I fall
I'll say I can't tell you when
But if my spirit is strong
I know it can't be long
No questions I'm not alone
Somehow I'll find my way home
Somehow I'll find my way home
Somehow I'll find my way home
Somehow I'll find my way home

Songwriters: Papathanassiou, Evangelos / Anderson, Jon
I'll Find My Way Home lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.

Got Van the Man's song on my mind....

I've posted before about certain songs that I either wake up with in my head or quite simply can't get out of my head Dweller on the Threshold by Van Morrison is he later of those songs I always feel there is a divine message in this and have looked into the lyrics here they are:

I'm a dweller on the threshold
And I'm waiting at the door
And I'm standing in the darkness
I don't want to wait no more

I have seen without perceiving
I have been another man
Let me pierce the realm of glamour
So I know just what I am

I'm a dweller on the threshold
And I'm waiting at the door
And I'm standing in the darkness
I don't want to wait no more

Feel the Angel of the Presence
In the mighty crystal fire
Lift me up consume my darkness
Let me travel even higher

I'm a dweller on the threshold
As I cross the burning ground
Let me go down to the water
Watch the great illusion drown

I'm a dweller on the threshold
And I'm waiting at the door
And I'm standing in the darkness
I don't want to wait no more

I'm gonna turn and face the music
The music of the spheres
Lift me up consume my darkness
When the midnight disappears

I will walk out of the darkness
And I'll walk into the light
And I'll sing the song of ages
And the dawn will end the night

I'm a dweller on the threshold
And I'm waiting at the door
And I'm standing in the darkness
I don't want to wait no more

I'm a dweller on the threshold
And I cross some burning ground
And I'll go down to the water
Let the great illusion drown

I'm a dweller on the threshold
And I'm waiting at the door
And I'm standing in the darkness
I don't want to wait no more

I'm a dweller on the threshold
Dweller on the threshold
I'm a dweller on the threshold

So what does it all mean??? I think anyone dx with a serious illness is a dweller on the threshold the threshold meaning between two worlds life and the afterlife. Those affected live in a weird twilight world not separate but also not a total part of this wonderful world I love this song.

Here's a you tube link for anyone who doesn't know the track http://youtu.be/KhdUha-ecBc enjoy! xx

Everybody's gotta learn sometime........

Ok so I woke up with this song in my head 'Everybody's gotta learn sometime' by The Korgis here's the lyrics

Change your heart, look around you

Change your heart, it will astound you

I need your loving like the sunshine

And everybody's gotta learn sometime

Everybody's gotta learn sometime

Everybody's gotta learn sometime

Change your heart, look around you

Change your heart, it will astound you

I need your loving like the sunshine

And everybody's gotta learn sometime

Everybody's gotta learn sometime

Everybody's gotta learn sometime

Everybody's gotta learn sometime

and here's what someone said in the comments section under these lyrics I'm posting it because it spoke to me and resonates on so many levels.

THIS SONG IS **SO MUCH MORE** THAN ABOUT TWO PEOPLE IN A RELATIONSHIP!!!! 

This song is about EVERYTHING!

ALL LIFE.

THE UNIVERSE.

and EVERYTHING.

ALL OF US.

Living here together on this tiny freakin planet. All packed in.

The lessons of the movie are VERY true, and we should all really be more aware of the deeper meaning of this, and when something hurts, take a step back out of yourself and look at your situation from an outside perspective, and with a little time, everything will become clear... and in the bigger picture, everything's not too bad... because we LEARN from ours, AND OTHERS mistakes.

We are all connected. All of us. Everything.

We are here to learn from each other, and grow. Learn as much as you can. We don't have much time.

We need to be good to each other, and do what makes sense, in the big picture.

I feel like some of you commenting on here just don't quite get it.... :(

but hey, Everybodys gotta learn sometime