Last Friday I went in for the results of my latest CT scan, the last one I actually had with dye contrast (they managed to get a needle in) so I was secretly dreading the outcome (you can see more with the contrast) basically I've got the all clear! Yep its happened I've got the all clear, the cancer on both lungs and liver has disappeared or as the Onc's Reg explained its so tiny we can't detect it on the CT scan. This is the best news ever........I am such a lucky, lucky, lucky girl. I knew about the lungs from the start but only found out by accident about the liver when I read a scan report that mentioned lesions on my liver!!! So for them to declare no sign of disease in both lungs and liver is mind blowing. Whilst I was feeling elated the Onc's Reg quickly came back to me with "but of course your never really going to get rid of it, its always going to be there, eventually it will come back, but we will deal with that as and when it shows itself, in the meantime your to continue indefinitely on Herceptin and Anastrozole" and swiftly back down to earth again with a thud. Yep they sure know how to drag you on that roller coaster don't they? I don't care what they say as far as I'm concerned I'm cancer free and I'm not going to let anyone bring me down about this news.
I am living proof that cancer by its very nature of being random can for no reason of its own just disappear. Obviously I've been down the clean and green path (although have too say I've fallen off the wagon recently and enjoy chocolate, biscuits and cake), I've taken every supplement known to man, taken a shit load of cannabis oil (especially in the first year of being dx), I've gone down the conventional route of being poisoned, cut and burned, all in all I've thrown everything at this shit and something has worked or is working and long may it continue.
Whilst walking on air out of the oncology department I waited outside for the other half to pick me up, another lady was waiting and we got chatting, she told me about her dx in her 40's (like me) over 20 years ago!!! with breast cancer, and that it had only just decided to show itself again and now she has all these options and drugs to try out, she told me to stay positive and live my life, she was a breath of fresh air, I figured that as I turn 50 this year if I get another 20 years of life I'll be 70 and that would be ok with me. I wouldn't want to live any longer than that anyway (after watching people in there 80s, 90s including my own grandmother who lived to 103 once you get to a certain age its best to go peacefully than to hang on to life that is full of illness and suffering).
In view of trying to maintain a normal-ish life I wont be posting as often as I used to and whilst this blog has been a constant source of comfort and help in venting and ranting, I would like to try and put the monkey on my shoulder even further behind me and in the distance. Of course I will from time to time post and will keep all of my readers up to date with surgery etc If anyone would like to speak to me or discuss anything at all please leave a comment and I will get back to you.
Remember to LIVE FOR THE MOMENT and SAVOUR EVERY SECOND.
LOVE AND LIGHT TO ALL OF YOU. XXXX
Showing posts with label NED. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NED. Show all posts
Tuesday, 6 June 2017
Sunday, 2 March 2014
Signs and the Peony flower
Its been a week since I learned the fantastic news about being NED (see post below) and its finally sunk in I feel like I'm in a weird kind of limbo land getting rid or the lung mets has been my driving force for nearly 3 years and its not like I'm stopping any treatment any time soon still on Herceptin forever and Tamoxifen for at least 5 years (2 and half years so far) so you see whilst the mets have gone I'm still living with the effects of cancer and its drugs so its not like I can be totally free of it and of course there's that Liver thing, still no word from the Onc on that one but will keep you updated as soon as I hear from them.
Its been beautiful weather this week all the flowers are out which is very unusual for this time of year normally we only see the delicate and beautiful Snowdrop this year the woods are carpeted in them its like the Snowdrop's are in direct competition with the Bluebells that normally cover the woodland floor. As well as the Snowdrop's we have loads of Daff's, Primroses, Crocus's and Violets I love seeing the flowers but worry that its all too soon and its still warm the amount of ground frost we've had this year you can count on one hand.
Getting back to my constant battle with the drugs. Before I was dx I never took any form of tablet so since all this has happened I feel like I'm a right pill popper lol. Its Tamoxifen again and the terrible hot flushes I say the hot flushes but its all of the side effects from this dam drug that really pull me down. I was considering taking a drug break from it or even stopping taking it altogether, until I learned the news of being NED this has now changed everything, I can't stop taking the drug it could be the one thing or the combo of Herceptin and Tamoxifen that is keeping me cancer free so as much as I hate it and all thats its doing to my poor body I've got to try and cultivate a better attitude to it.
I'm trying to address all the side effects and deal with them all so that I can get on with taking it for the remaining 2 and a half years. To start with I'm dealing with the weight gain going from a size 8-18 in the space of 2 and a half years is no joke. I was shopping in a charity shop the other day and a lady working in there decided to take it upon herself to show me where the size 18+ clothes rail was needless to say this upset me for the rest of the day. So no more carbs that includes white potatoes, any kind of rice, or pasta and bread its all going out. Initially I was good with the carbs but its slowly crept back into the diet so a total veto of all these things should help the weight loss. I'm also walking for at least an hour and a half each day and feel better for it. I stopped going to Yoga because I was puffing and panting and could not get up off the floor very easily and others members tended to stare at me like I'd arrived from another planet (little do they know I have its called planet c), now that I've started walking again I am going to try and aim for going back to Yoga and might practice it alone at home for a while.
The next side effect that needs desperate attention is the hot flushes these are extreme although for some ladies its not that bad. Mine are horrific, I instantly feel very nauseous then I visibly sweat and go beetroot in the face it wakes me up in the middle of night and generally makes me feel ill. Its got to stop. I thought it would get better as time wore on but its got worse. To date I've tried wearing a Ladycare Magnet which worked for around 6 months but then stopped working, also stopped drinking tea and coffee (only use decaf) this works but if on the odd occasion I do have a proper cup of tea or coffee the hot flushes are 100% worse almost immediately! Supplements I've taken include Sage, Vitamin E, Evening Primrose Oil all of them dont work for me. Onc. told me not to take Black Cohosh or Red Clover as these interfere with the effectiveness of the Tamxoifen. In the beginning I was offered anti-depressants but found after only taking one that I was a suicidal mess and stopped straight away also was offered Megace but a side effect is weight gain to which I popped the box directly in the bin. I was taking the drug Clonidine for my hot flushes and again this worked but had the added undesirable side effect of making me collapse I had so many falls I stopped taking it. Onc. told me he had run out of drugs for me to try to stop the hot flushes so I've given up asking him.
In view of all I've said in the previous chapter I have now finally found something that could work. Its not available in any shop except on line due to the law changing on herbs and herbal medicine my local health food shop cant sell it but I have managed to get some online and await its delivery with anticipation. Its Peony Tincture apparently according to my very knowledgeable health food shop owner its very effective for ladies where Sage has failed. Unlike Sage it works on the body's thermostat rather than hormonally which is a huge added plus. I also wanted to add that weirdly enough the day before I found out about Peony Tincture I was out looking for this plant and didn't really know why I came home with a bunch of Red Peony flowers and put them in a vase I've since learned that the Peony they use is Red so something prompted me to go out and buy these flowers and I believe this is a sign from spirit guiding to something that will help me. We need to listen to our instincts and act upon them especially if they keep coming into our focus. I cant wait for my tincture to arrive it cost £15 delivered which isn't too bad but I'm going to look into this further, if it works then I'm going to attempt to make my own, will keep you all posted on this one.
Love and light to you all xxxxx
Its been beautiful weather this week all the flowers are out which is very unusual for this time of year normally we only see the delicate and beautiful Snowdrop this year the woods are carpeted in them its like the Snowdrop's are in direct competition with the Bluebells that normally cover the woodland floor. As well as the Snowdrop's we have loads of Daff's, Primroses, Crocus's and Violets I love seeing the flowers but worry that its all too soon and its still warm the amount of ground frost we've had this year you can count on one hand.
Getting back to my constant battle with the drugs. Before I was dx I never took any form of tablet so since all this has happened I feel like I'm a right pill popper lol. Its Tamoxifen again and the terrible hot flushes I say the hot flushes but its all of the side effects from this dam drug that really pull me down. I was considering taking a drug break from it or even stopping taking it altogether, until I learned the news of being NED this has now changed everything, I can't stop taking the drug it could be the one thing or the combo of Herceptin and Tamoxifen that is keeping me cancer free so as much as I hate it and all thats its doing to my poor body I've got to try and cultivate a better attitude to it.
I'm trying to address all the side effects and deal with them all so that I can get on with taking it for the remaining 2 and a half years. To start with I'm dealing with the weight gain going from a size 8-18 in the space of 2 and a half years is no joke. I was shopping in a charity shop the other day and a lady working in there decided to take it upon herself to show me where the size 18+ clothes rail was needless to say this upset me for the rest of the day. So no more carbs that includes white potatoes, any kind of rice, or pasta and bread its all going out. Initially I was good with the carbs but its slowly crept back into the diet so a total veto of all these things should help the weight loss. I'm also walking for at least an hour and a half each day and feel better for it. I stopped going to Yoga because I was puffing and panting and could not get up off the floor very easily and others members tended to stare at me like I'd arrived from another planet (little do they know I have its called planet c), now that I've started walking again I am going to try and aim for going back to Yoga and might practice it alone at home for a while.
The next side effect that needs desperate attention is the hot flushes these are extreme although for some ladies its not that bad. Mine are horrific, I instantly feel very nauseous then I visibly sweat and go beetroot in the face it wakes me up in the middle of night and generally makes me feel ill. Its got to stop. I thought it would get better as time wore on but its got worse. To date I've tried wearing a Ladycare Magnet which worked for around 6 months but then stopped working, also stopped drinking tea and coffee (only use decaf) this works but if on the odd occasion I do have a proper cup of tea or coffee the hot flushes are 100% worse almost immediately! Supplements I've taken include Sage, Vitamin E, Evening Primrose Oil all of them dont work for me. Onc. told me not to take Black Cohosh or Red Clover as these interfere with the effectiveness of the Tamxoifen. In the beginning I was offered anti-depressants but found after only taking one that I was a suicidal mess and stopped straight away also was offered Megace but a side effect is weight gain to which I popped the box directly in the bin. I was taking the drug Clonidine for my hot flushes and again this worked but had the added undesirable side effect of making me collapse I had so many falls I stopped taking it. Onc. told me he had run out of drugs for me to try to stop the hot flushes so I've given up asking him.
In view of all I've said in the previous chapter I have now finally found something that could work. Its not available in any shop except on line due to the law changing on herbs and herbal medicine my local health food shop cant sell it but I have managed to get some online and await its delivery with anticipation. Its Peony Tincture apparently according to my very knowledgeable health food shop owner its very effective for ladies where Sage has failed. Unlike Sage it works on the body's thermostat rather than hormonally which is a huge added plus. I also wanted to add that weirdly enough the day before I found out about Peony Tincture I was out looking for this plant and didn't really know why I came home with a bunch of Red Peony flowers and put them in a vase I've since learned that the Peony they use is Red so something prompted me to go out and buy these flowers and I believe this is a sign from spirit guiding to something that will help me. We need to listen to our instincts and act upon them especially if they keep coming into our focus. I cant wait for my tincture to arrive it cost £15 delivered which isn't too bad but I'm going to look into this further, if it works then I'm going to attempt to make my own, will keep you all posted on this one.
Love and light to you all xxxxx
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