Finally a Hot Flush Fixer!!!!

After trying a myriad of methods, treatments and therapies to rid myself of the dreaded sweating, nausea, and hot hot hot feeling (not in a good sunbathing way), I've finally think I may of found something its called Magnesium Citrate and is available from all good health shops you need a high dose not more than 350 mgs a day but it really really works, I've not had one so far today, usually I would be on hot flush and symptoms no 11 by now sometimes even worse, like every 5mins! It was getting ridiculous, to the point of wanting to live in a cold shower or just lie down and die! which I know sounds stupid but honestly this thing the menopause is no joke and for some of us doomed to suffer either from a natural menopause or a chemically induced one it affects all areas of your life. Making you so depressed you just want to end it all. Please don't underestimate how shit it makes you feel its NOT as suggested to me like going to a hot country and sunning yourself, its horrific.

Any women reading this and think they have tried everything just try this Magnesium Citrate not only does it help with your hot flushes it also helps with feeling tired and helps you if your constipated, I honestly can't recommend this enough.

Flat chested and happy.........

Its been a fair few weeks now down the line since the 2nd mastectomy and I am feeling a lot better. A couple of weeks after the op I wasn't so impressed I had an infection in my wound which needed antibiotics and I also needed to have the area drained twice again not impressed but managed to get through it, I kept reminding myself I've been through worse and survived and I was right. what didn't help was catching flu around new year that really wiped me out and made it very difficult I was actually throwing up and the pressure of heaving made my scar area fill with fluid hence having to have it drained twice. The bug was much worse than the operation and I am so glad its all over and done with.

New Year new body, new me......


Results in from my latest CT scan are good or rather everything is stable so all in all very positive. I am now just looking at one hospital appointment next week for my 3 weekly Herceptin and then a break from going to hospital or appointments for at least 3 weeks and no intermediate appointments. YAY...... feels good to think I'm through the worst of it, with CT scan done, Oncology appointment done, bloods and echo scan done. Phewwwww

Feeling a lot lot lighter and not walking with a bob out of balance or weird gait anymore as the boob is gone and makes me feel normal I know that sounds strange but the one massive boob was such a pain in the arse and made me feel so abnormal, its the best thing I've ever had done since this whole thing started and I am hopeful that this year will see an improvement on all health fronts because of it. Migraines whilst still there are not as frequent as I was getting them and not quite as intense, neck pain on my left hand side is also not as bad so whilst the migraines cannot be blamed entirely on the boob now its gone I have noticed a difference and its for the better. I am feeling a lot happier although of course it goes with out saying I would of been at my happiest if I had never gotten fucking breast cancer but hey ho.......

All in all everything is proceeding in a positive way and I am feeling a lot better about myself and my new life living with secondary breast cancer.

2nd Mastectomy, 2nd time lucky.......RESULT

Those of you who read my post's will already know about my cancelled operation see post NHS no beds...

I finally have another appointment on the 27th of November as a day patient so I will be going home on the same day (apparently this is the new norm with mastectomy operations) got everything crossed to get this operation out of my way this year. New surgeon is fantastic so all is good on that front.

UPDATE

6 days out of surgery YAY it happened this time. Turns out that going home was a good move although I had to go back into hospital on the Friday for a drain check/removal, they were going to replace the bottle however, I told them next week I have a CT Scan, an echo heart scan, Herceptin injection not all on the same day, they decided to take the drain out to save me another visit to the hospital. Thank god for that!!!

Feeling very sore as one would expect and not sure about the wound its a bit gunky but I have Herceptin tomorrow so shall show the nurses see what they think.

Other than that its wonderful to feel flat chested no sinister lumps and bumps no lady humps to worry about. Looking forward to a boob free life. No tears so far I don't miss them or it! Looking forward to a few months down the line when this will be a distant memory.

Life on anti-depressants

Anti-depressants have become a part of the my life, I never expected that I would have to take medication for depression although looking back I've always been more depressive than upbeat. After being dx I thought I was doing fine, in fact with lack of oestrogen I wasn't as moody as before, leading me to believe that my mood swings were a result of out of balance hormones. Initially I was put on anti-d's for the menopausal symptoms to alleviate the hot flushes caused by an early chemical menopause (which by the way are still as horrendous as they always were) this worked for a while but eventually they stopped working and I am now back in the hot and sweaty position I was before. Trouble is I can't seem to get off them. I want to come off them as they aren't working for what I they were prescribed for. Of course I realise I probably wouldn't of been able to cope with what life has chucked at me over the past 7 years if it wasn't for the tablets.

The best way of describing being on anti-d's is that :

Normal life is full of a rainbow of colours, dazzling,vibrant, bright and alive, once your on anti-d's this rainbow doesn't stop but its muted, toned down, nothing is as bright as before, everything feels safe, everything feels beige....... 

The thing is life isn't beige, things happen, life throws curve balls in all shapes and forms, sometimes its amazingly wonderful and at other times its hard to fathom how to cope. I feel dumbed down, on the one hand I don't get stressed out about ANYTHING and I mean anything, everyone tells me how well I cope with my dx but really I don't give a shit because I'm living in the safety of a beige world where nothing touches me, apart from my dad having 2 strokes and is now in nursing home that really upset me and I actually found myself crying but not for long as the ant-d's take the edge off of everything.

Im going to try and ween myself off of them in an attempt to feel like me again. I need the colour back in my life, I need to be me again in all my kaleidoscope of colours.