Blamers and Shamers

Another fabulous animation from Brené Brown explaining the truth about BLAME.

and interview with Oprah explaining the 6 worst people to share your SHAME with.

 

Empathy V Sympathy

Watch this fab animation narrated and written by Brené Brown that illustrates and describes exactly what's going on with these words. Something I know a lot of cancer patients are connoisseurs of we know about the downside to Sympathy.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD

I've stumbled upon the above phrase PTSD something I didn't think applied to me but as it would happen it does, here's an article explaining why it affects cancer survivors and the symptoms the later of which I can say I have all of the symptoms and have had for along time. This was something I thought the counsellor would pick up on but as per usual I've done some digging around and found this. I would urge any cancer patient/survivor/fighter to read this article its answered some of my questions and helped me understand why I have been so depressed and suicidal.

http://blog.thebreastcancersite.com/cs-ptsd-is-real/?utm_source=bcs-bcaware&utm_medium=social-fb&utm_term=081815&utm_content=link&utm_campaign=cs-ptsd-is-real&origin=


I tick all the  boxes with the symptoms for this particular disorder and will be bringing it up at my next session with the counsellor.

Regression Therapy.....Counselling.......

Anyone who reads this blog frequently knows I'm a spiritual soul and a bit of a hippie at heart, I am presently reading a couple of books on the alternative Regression Therapy, from what I understand regression therapy is a kind of hypnosis taking you back to previous lives to see how those lives are affecting us in the here and now. The books I am reading are Dr Brian Weiss ' Miracles do Happen' and Sue Minns 'Bodies and Souls' the later of the two is fantastic especially if your not familiar with the spiritual side of things, she explains everything in a comprehensive easy to understand way, it makes sense to me. Luckily for me Sue lives and works from both Totnes down here in Devon and London, I've emailed her to enquire about being regressed and am pondering whether or not to go and see her, the main problem is money but she has offered to do my session at a reduced price which is very kind of her, don't get me wrong I'm not questioning how much she charges its just that I'm skint and money is an ongoing problem for me.

Plenty of people have said "why don't you go to the macmillan centre and get some free counselling?" reason why I can't go there is because one of the counsellors is my neighbour who incidentally lost her sister to breast cancer when I was initially dx, it feels really awkward with her and I accept is an unusual situation but I can't go to the macmillan centre because of this also her partner is her boss and another of the macmillan counsellors and although I don't know him I don't want to open up to him I'm sure they would discuss things. I could pay privately for counselling and have been recommended to people but again its very expensive. I feel the need of some help and I need to talk, it would seem now is the time for it. Regression therapy is very appealing to me as I see it as a kind of counselling as well as possibly getting to the bottom of some difficult questions with possible answers or  at the very least some help.

I think I am going to give Regression Therapy a go or at least do one session see whether it suits me or not, what the hell I've got nothing to loose, I will as always keep you informed of my progress with this and any other alternative/complementary therapies I might try.

Two years today...

Its a cancer anniversary, exactly 2 years ago today I found out I had breast cancer 2 weeks later I found out it had spread on to both of my lungs, I'm still receiving treatments including tamoxifen by tablet daily, herceptin by IV every 3 weeks so far its all working and keeping me in a stable condition, I continue to be eternally grateful for any extra time I have on this planet, for my family and friends who love and care for me and to the beautiful cats that I share my life with. Life is good, getting steadily busier and gradually healthier by use of juicing and diet although I hate hate hate the new weightier me this is one thing I could do without. Can't quite believe it was 2 years ago that I went in to my local breast care clinic at the hospital, sat in the waiting room with my partner and brother we sat and joked about the crappy stories in the magazines, and then my name was called and I walked into all hell on earth, "its not looking very good sarah" the surgeon said in fact its very nasty and quite aggressive, dazed and confused I left the room to meet up with my jovial brother and partner who were still making each other laugh, I couldn't wait to get out of that waiting room, we'd been in their all day started off with an examination, then a mammogram, then an ultrasound and biopsy they had well and truly messed with my body and I wanted out of that hell whole. During the biopsy I said to the Dr " that doesn't look like a cyst" to which she replied " no I'm afraid its no cyst". When we did leave everyone was oh its probably just a cyst little did they know that I already knew it was more serious than a cyst.

The past 2 years have been the most painful, tearful, shocking, speedy, emotional, courageous, spiritual and happy of my life, I have lived, breathed, and virtually written a book on the subject of breast cancer those two words never entered my head until this time 2 years ago. Anyone reading this for the first time who may be worried or just been dx with the same shit can I hope glean some hope, support and understanding from this blog. I've been writing it to try too make sense of the mountains of conflicting information out there on the subject and hope if you are stuck in the same shitty position that you can at least get some quick answers to your questions.

Remember, I'm still here breathing and living, you can be too if you follow your heart, change your life, by whatever means possible and always for the better and look both inwardly and outwardly delving into the bigger picture.

"Just keep on swimming" from the film Nemo

Hope to heal

I've found these films on cancer and present quite a case see what you think:

http://youtu.be/GXg0D9jBsCM

This one is by Bernie Siegel the writer of Love, Medicine and Miracles worth a watch:

http://youtu.be/GXg0D9jBsCM