Yep its that time of year again....no not just xmas....but yep you guessed it scan time!
It seems to come round so quickly and its my pet dread, not the actually scan its the hunt a vein game, my veins are shot from all the chemo so each time they need to put a cannula in me its a nightmare. I have to arrive 45mins before my appointment because it can take that long for them to get it in, then sometimes they try so many times they can't try anymore and I have to have the scan without contrast dye, the dye is very important it helps give them the best possible picture of my insides. However, this time although I was in dread, the lovely lady that dealt with me managed to get a little known vein in the crease of my arm which apparently pops up when you slightly bend and twist the arm. Apparently she discovered this vein when she was injecting heroin addicts and ever since has been using it on those of us affected with bad veins including chemo patients. I was eternally grateful to her for finding the vein and causing no pain, but not with being grouped in with the heroin addicts! lol.
Its done.....and over with for the next 6 months, now its playing the other part of the game the waiting bit. Results should be in by my next Onc. appointment which is scheduled for the 8th of December.
Showing posts with label chemo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chemo. Show all posts
Thursday, 30 November 2017
Wednesday, 12 April 2017
Scanxiety.......
Yep, its that time again, just had a CT scan this time with contrast. Over the past year they couldn't get a cannula into my veins so I couldn't have the scan with contrast which provides a better all round picture, this time however I went to oncology where the experienced chemo nurses were able to get a cannula in and I had the CT with contrast. This has thrown me into a an anxious, worried person whose not feeling up to much at the moment, praying the results are all good or at the very least stable and so this joyless, shitty ride continues...........
I've said it before and I'll say it again FUCKING CANCER.....
In other news, my father has had yet another stroke this time affecting his lefthand side almost a year to the day of the last one. Feel so much for the poor old fella, he's hanging on in there by the skin of his teeth, he can't swallow so is now on a peg for nutrition, water and medication, his memory is shaky sometimes he's with us and sometimes he's most definitely not, so upsetting. He's been in hospital for a month now and isn't likely to come out anytime soon, so I've been staying at my folks house supporting my brother and mum although I'm home at the moment because I need my own bed once in a while and of course I had hospital appointments. I am being kept up to date of his progress and will be going up again soon to stay and visit.
Spring has arrived and is utterly gorgeous as per usual, feel so grateful to still be around appreciating natures awesome beauty although it is somewhat tainted with the current state of affairs.
I've said it before and I'll say it again FUCKING CANCER.....
In other news, my father has had yet another stroke this time affecting his lefthand side almost a year to the day of the last one. Feel so much for the poor old fella, he's hanging on in there by the skin of his teeth, he can't swallow so is now on a peg for nutrition, water and medication, his memory is shaky sometimes he's with us and sometimes he's most definitely not, so upsetting. He's been in hospital for a month now and isn't likely to come out anytime soon, so I've been staying at my folks house supporting my brother and mum although I'm home at the moment because I need my own bed once in a while and of course I had hospital appointments. I am being kept up to date of his progress and will be going up again soon to stay and visit.
Spring has arrived and is utterly gorgeous as per usual, feel so grateful to still be around appreciating natures awesome beauty although it is somewhat tainted with the current state of affairs.
Tuesday, 5 May 2015
The C Word and Lisa Lynch
About an hour ago I watched the short drama on the life and cancer of Lisa Lynch of 'Alright Tit' blog fame and her book 'The C-Word' and remembered why I was feeling so dejected all of the art events this week were something to strive for something to bring hope and joy, watching the film brought back the whole horrible terrifying experience of having cancer and living with it, I could relate to all her pain, emotional suffering, and heartache all the shit she had to go through like chemo, surgery, radiotherapy only to be told that the 'Bullshit' as she called it had returned. If you haven't watched this its on the iplayer its moving, it makes you cry, but its real, honest depiction of the insanity of a secondary breast cancer dx, I could relate to all of it from finding out and having to tell everyone to going through horrendous chemo and surgery all of it was exactly how I remember it, somehow seeing it on TV makes life seem even more precious and fragile than it already is. Its reminded me to be thankful for all that I have including the chance to fail at a miserable art competition how unbelievably unimportant it all is. All we have is our relationships our friends and family thats all that is important. Lisa Lynch died in 2013 after fighting secondary breast cancer for the record ITS A MOTHER FUCKER.... and I FUCKING HATE IT!!!
Here's the link to Lisa's brilliant blog http://alrighttit.blogspot.co.uk and to the iplayer film
Monday, 24 June 2013
Whole Body Photodynamic Therapy.....Amazing Results......
Found this post on the BCC forum informing of a new therapy called Photodynamic (PDT) the peice is so well written and describes exactly what the treatment is, does and more importantly how it works. and believe this would benefit anyone faced with advanced stage IV cancer who has given up hope I'm also posting this here so that I can find it again if I need to. It seems like a lot to read but its so worth it, utterly amazing.
The treatment is called whole body photodynamic therapy (PDT) and it’s pretty amazing. For most people it is painless, non-intrusive, has no side effects, and can be repeated as many times as necessary until the cancer is gone with no reduction in effectiveness. It seems to work on all types of cancer, is used as a first line treatment for primary cancers as well as on very advanced cancers, and for many patients it even initiates an immune response that can help the body to start fighting the cancer itself. Results have been astonishing, with many stage 4 patients experiencing complete remission – it’s too early to tell whether it is a cure for advanced cancers, but I’ve talked to oncologists working in the field who believe it is.
To explain how it works, I need to back up a little.Conventional localised (ie not wholebody) PDT has been available for over a hundred years, has a success rate of 98%, and is widely used for skin and oesophageal cancers. The inventor got a Nobel Prize for his work. It works by introducing a Photosensitising Agent (PA) into the tumour, which as the name suggests makes the cells sensitive to light in a specific spectrum. Most PAs are based on chlorophyll from plants, so are totally harmless to normal cells. The PA enters the cancer cells, and when exposed to light of a certain wavelength a chemical reaction occurs, which produces singlet oxygen. If the light source is strong it produces enough singlet oxygen to literally pop the cancer cell and destroy it immediately - the process takes 45 seconds. If the light source is weaker, it can damage the cell enough that it will eventually die. The limitation of this treatment has been that it can only be used on cancers very close to the skin or where a light probe can reach them like the throat, because the light wavelength used only travels a cm or so into the body. Also the PA can leave the area treated sensitive to light for many months, so patients have to stay inside or buy a burka! The huge new development is that the Russians and Chinese, after over 20 years and billions of pounds worth of research, have developed PDT into a system that can be used to treat the whole body in the way that chemo does, but without damaging healthy cells, hence no side effects. This is pretty much the Holy Grail of cancer therapy.
The system available in China (http://www.nextgenerationpdt.com/ )uses a PA based on spirulina. You ingest the PA by drinking a foul green liquid, and also breathing it in through a nebuliser. The PA has been chemically engineered to lodge in all cancer cells, but to leave healthy cells after 10 hours – it will also cross the blood/brain barrier to work on brain tumours. As the PA leaves healthy cells so quickly, there is no issue with leaving the body sensitive to light – I was sunbathing by the hotel pool immediately after treatment! So the day after ingesting the PA, when it has left all healthy cells, the whole body is exposed to a light source in the near infra-red spectrum that can travel up to 10cms into the body. You lie a lightbed similar to a sunbed, with LED light directed from every angle. The 10cm light penetration is enough to get to every area of the body for a normal sized person, and to kill individual cancer cells circulating in the bloodstream. In addition, areas of concern or known tumours can be treated with strong localised lasers. Large or deep seated tumours can be treated with an interstitial light probe directly into the tumour.
The protocol for treatment depends on the severity of the cancer – I just had the lightbed and lasers, so it was painless and non-intrusive, with no side-effects. The interstitial probes can be uncomfortable for a few seconds, and large tumours will swell as they break up which can cause discomfort and some feel feverish for a few days – this is the start of the immune system recognising the cancer. A single course lasts 8 days, with 4 light treatments. The recommendation for advanced cancer is 3 courses of 8 days each, with a two week gap in between each course.
There are some limitations to the treatment, for example if a tumour is situated where the swelling could be dangerous (ie too near the heart), or if it is wrapped around a major blood vessel that could rupture as the tumour disintegrates, it would be too dangerous to treat. They also specify a minimum life expectancy of 3 months as the treatment can take time to work on very large tumours – people for whom it has been unsuccessful are generally those where the cancer was advancing faster than the PDT could work. Bone tumours are also harder to treat than soft tissue as light can’t travel as far through bone.
I was treated at a clinic in Guangzhou called Next Generation Photo Dynamic Therapy (NGPDT), which is owned and operated by an Australian/ Chinese company. They are a private clinic with patients coming from all over the world, and are planning a major expansion into 63 countries – they hope to be in the UK within 2 years. A similar but not identical system is available in Chinese hospitals for locals. A recent trial of NGPDT in Beijing on advanced lung cancer patients, who usually have a very poor prognosis, had 1 and 2 year survival rates of 94% and 71% respectively, compared to 68% and 32% for the control chemo and rads group. The NGPDT patients had complete remission in 56% of cases, and partial remission in a further 21%. Details here:http://meetinglibrary.asco.org/content/113379-132. A second trial in Australia on prostate and bladder cancers is in phase 2, and when complete should satisfy the regulatory requirements to bring the treatment to the UK.
When I was in China I met people being treated for a large range of cancers, most were very sick and had exhausted all other treatment options other than palliative care (I was not their typical patient, having a very light cancer load). These are the hardest cases to treat, weakened by years of chemo, but even so, everyone I met seemed to be responding. An Australian woman with a large inoperable brain tumour had a 60% reduction in tumour volume after 2 courses of treatment, and was regaining speech and balance. An Irish guy with lung cancer that had spread pretty much everywhere (he described his PET scan as lighting up like a Christmas tree) had cancer in only 1 lymph node after 3 courses. An American guy with large lung tumours described having an interstitial probe and being able to hear the tumours fizzing as they dissolved, and an immediate relief from the pain they were causing. I could go on and on – but you can see some of these people yourself being interviewed on Youtube.
As for me, I had no active tumours big enough to show up on a scan when I was treated, so there is no way of knowing how successful it has been – I will have to wait and see. Although I am currently NED having successfully treated bone and liver mets, I know my cancer will recur at some stage, so this treatment was an attempt to prevent that. I went with the blessing of my onc, who had wanted me to have a course of chemo following my liver ablation. I declined the chemo and had NGPDT instead. I have decided never to have chemo or rads again. I only had one course of NGPDT treatment – not the 3 they recommended. But if I need to go back for more I will be on the next plane to China. My hope is that one course will be enough to keep me well for a couple years, and by that time I’m hoping NGPDT will be available in London. In China, the worried well are having NGPDT to prevent cancer – it’s no more onerous than using a sunbed for half an hour!
Also found these links on the subject http://www.uclh.nhs.uk/OURSERVICES/SERVICEA-Z/CANCER/CANCERTREATMENTS/PDT/Pages/OtherPDTworkatUCLH.aspx
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1773165/
http://www.patient.co.uk/support/PDT-For-Cancer-Cure-Ltd.htm
http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Cancertreatment/Treatmenttypes/Othertreatments/Photodynamictherapy.aspx
http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Therapy/photodynamic
http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/cancer-help/about-cancer/treatment/other/photodynamic-therapy-pdt
http://www.killingcancer.co.uk/home.asp
http://www.cancer.org/treatment/treatmentsandsideeffects/treatmenttypes/photodynamic-therapy
The treatment is called whole body photodynamic therapy (PDT) and it’s pretty amazing. For most people it is painless, non-intrusive, has no side effects, and can be repeated as many times as necessary until the cancer is gone with no reduction in effectiveness. It seems to work on all types of cancer, is used as a first line treatment for primary cancers as well as on very advanced cancers, and for many patients it even initiates an immune response that can help the body to start fighting the cancer itself. Results have been astonishing, with many stage 4 patients experiencing complete remission – it’s too early to tell whether it is a cure for advanced cancers, but I’ve talked to oncologists working in the field who believe it is.
To explain how it works, I need to back up a little.Conventional localised (ie not wholebody) PDT has been available for over a hundred years, has a success rate of 98%, and is widely used for skin and oesophageal cancers. The inventor got a Nobel Prize for his work. It works by introducing a Photosensitising Agent (PA) into the tumour, which as the name suggests makes the cells sensitive to light in a specific spectrum. Most PAs are based on chlorophyll from plants, so are totally harmless to normal cells. The PA enters the cancer cells, and when exposed to light of a certain wavelength a chemical reaction occurs, which produces singlet oxygen. If the light source is strong it produces enough singlet oxygen to literally pop the cancer cell and destroy it immediately - the process takes 45 seconds. If the light source is weaker, it can damage the cell enough that it will eventually die. The limitation of this treatment has been that it can only be used on cancers very close to the skin or where a light probe can reach them like the throat, because the light wavelength used only travels a cm or so into the body. Also the PA can leave the area treated sensitive to light for many months, so patients have to stay inside or buy a burka! The huge new development is that the Russians and Chinese, after over 20 years and billions of pounds worth of research, have developed PDT into a system that can be used to treat the whole body in the way that chemo does, but without damaging healthy cells, hence no side effects. This is pretty much the Holy Grail of cancer therapy.
The system available in China (http://www.nextgenerationpdt.com/ )uses a PA based on spirulina. You ingest the PA by drinking a foul green liquid, and also breathing it in through a nebuliser. The PA has been chemically engineered to lodge in all cancer cells, but to leave healthy cells after 10 hours – it will also cross the blood/brain barrier to work on brain tumours. As the PA leaves healthy cells so quickly, there is no issue with leaving the body sensitive to light – I was sunbathing by the hotel pool immediately after treatment! So the day after ingesting the PA, when it has left all healthy cells, the whole body is exposed to a light source in the near infra-red spectrum that can travel up to 10cms into the body. You lie a lightbed similar to a sunbed, with LED light directed from every angle. The 10cm light penetration is enough to get to every area of the body for a normal sized person, and to kill individual cancer cells circulating in the bloodstream. In addition, areas of concern or known tumours can be treated with strong localised lasers. Large or deep seated tumours can be treated with an interstitial light probe directly into the tumour.
The protocol for treatment depends on the severity of the cancer – I just had the lightbed and lasers, so it was painless and non-intrusive, with no side-effects. The interstitial probes can be uncomfortable for a few seconds, and large tumours will swell as they break up which can cause discomfort and some feel feverish for a few days – this is the start of the immune system recognising the cancer. A single course lasts 8 days, with 4 light treatments. The recommendation for advanced cancer is 3 courses of 8 days each, with a two week gap in between each course.
There are some limitations to the treatment, for example if a tumour is situated where the swelling could be dangerous (ie too near the heart), or if it is wrapped around a major blood vessel that could rupture as the tumour disintegrates, it would be too dangerous to treat. They also specify a minimum life expectancy of 3 months as the treatment can take time to work on very large tumours – people for whom it has been unsuccessful are generally those where the cancer was advancing faster than the PDT could work. Bone tumours are also harder to treat than soft tissue as light can’t travel as far through bone.
I was treated at a clinic in Guangzhou called Next Generation Photo Dynamic Therapy (NGPDT), which is owned and operated by an Australian/ Chinese company. They are a private clinic with patients coming from all over the world, and are planning a major expansion into 63 countries – they hope to be in the UK within 2 years. A similar but not identical system is available in Chinese hospitals for locals. A recent trial of NGPDT in Beijing on advanced lung cancer patients, who usually have a very poor prognosis, had 1 and 2 year survival rates of 94% and 71% respectively, compared to 68% and 32% for the control chemo and rads group. The NGPDT patients had complete remission in 56% of cases, and partial remission in a further 21%. Details here:http://meetinglibrary.asco.org/content/113379-132. A second trial in Australia on prostate and bladder cancers is in phase 2, and when complete should satisfy the regulatory requirements to bring the treatment to the UK.
When I was in China I met people being treated for a large range of cancers, most were very sick and had exhausted all other treatment options other than palliative care (I was not their typical patient, having a very light cancer load). These are the hardest cases to treat, weakened by years of chemo, but even so, everyone I met seemed to be responding. An Australian woman with a large inoperable brain tumour had a 60% reduction in tumour volume after 2 courses of treatment, and was regaining speech and balance. An Irish guy with lung cancer that had spread pretty much everywhere (he described his PET scan as lighting up like a Christmas tree) had cancer in only 1 lymph node after 3 courses. An American guy with large lung tumours described having an interstitial probe and being able to hear the tumours fizzing as they dissolved, and an immediate relief from the pain they were causing. I could go on and on – but you can see some of these people yourself being interviewed on Youtube.
As for me, I had no active tumours big enough to show up on a scan when I was treated, so there is no way of knowing how successful it has been – I will have to wait and see. Although I am currently NED having successfully treated bone and liver mets, I know my cancer will recur at some stage, so this treatment was an attempt to prevent that. I went with the blessing of my onc, who had wanted me to have a course of chemo following my liver ablation. I declined the chemo and had NGPDT instead. I have decided never to have chemo or rads again. I only had one course of NGPDT treatment – not the 3 they recommended. But if I need to go back for more I will be on the next plane to China. My hope is that one course will be enough to keep me well for a couple years, and by that time I’m hoping NGPDT will be available in London. In China, the worried well are having NGPDT to prevent cancer – it’s no more onerous than using a sunbed for half an hour!
Also found these links on the subject http://www.uclh.nhs.uk/OURSERVICES/SERVICEA-Z/CANCER/CANCERTREATMENTS/PDT/Pages/OtherPDTworkatUCLH.aspx
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1773165/
http://www.patient.co.uk/support/PDT-For-Cancer-Cure-Ltd.htm
http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Cancertreatment/Treatmenttypes/Othertreatments/Photodynamictherapy.aspx
http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Therapy/photodynamic
http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/cancer-help/about-cancer/treatment/other/photodynamic-therapy-pdt
http://www.killingcancer.co.uk/home.asp
http://www.cancer.org/treatment/treatmentsandsideeffects/treatmenttypes/photodynamic-therapy
Tuesday, 12 March 2013
Two years today...
Its a cancer anniversary, exactly 2 years ago today I found out I had breast cancer 2 weeks later I found out it had spread on to both of my lungs, I'm still receiving treatments including tamoxifen by tablet daily, herceptin by IV every 3 weeks so far its all working and keeping me in a stable condition, I continue to be eternally grateful for any extra time I have on this planet, for my family and friends who love and care for me and to the beautiful cats that I share my life with. Life is good, getting steadily busier and gradually healthier by use of juicing and diet although I hate hate hate the new weightier me this is one thing I could do without. Can't quite believe it was 2 years ago that I went in to my local breast care clinic at the hospital, sat in the waiting room with my partner and brother we sat and joked about the crappy stories in the magazines, and then my name was called and I walked into all hell on earth, "its not looking very good sarah" the surgeon said in fact its very nasty and quite aggressive, dazed and confused I left the room to meet up with my jovial brother and partner who were still making each other laugh, I couldn't wait to get out of that waiting room, we'd been in their all day started off with an examination, then a mammogram, then an ultrasound and biopsy they had well and truly messed with my body and I wanted out of that hell whole. During the biopsy I said to the Dr " that doesn't look like a cyst" to which she replied " no I'm afraid its no cyst". When we did leave everyone was oh its probably just a cyst little did they know that I already knew it was more serious than a cyst.
The past 2 years have been the most painful, tearful, shocking, speedy, emotional, courageous, spiritual and happy of my life, I have lived, breathed, and virtually written a book on the subject of breast cancer those two words never entered my head until this time 2 years ago. Anyone reading this for the first time who may be worried or just been dx with the same shit can I hope glean some hope, support and understanding from this blog. I've been writing it to try too make sense of the mountains of conflicting information out there on the subject and hope if you are stuck in the same shitty position that you can at least get some quick answers to your questions.
Remember, I'm still here breathing and living, you can be too if you follow your heart, change your life, by whatever means possible and always for the better and look both inwardly and outwardly delving into the bigger picture.
"Just keep on swimming" from the film Nemo
The past 2 years have been the most painful, tearful, shocking, speedy, emotional, courageous, spiritual and happy of my life, I have lived, breathed, and virtually written a book on the subject of breast cancer those two words never entered my head until this time 2 years ago. Anyone reading this for the first time who may be worried or just been dx with the same shit can I hope glean some hope, support and understanding from this blog. I've been writing it to try too make sense of the mountains of conflicting information out there on the subject and hope if you are stuck in the same shitty position that you can at least get some quick answers to your questions.
Remember, I'm still here breathing and living, you can be too if you follow your heart, change your life, by whatever means possible and always for the better and look both inwardly and outwardly delving into the bigger picture.
"Just keep on swimming" from the film Nemo
Thursday, 31 January 2013
Kinesiology.....all change......
Attended my appointment for Kinesiology (*see at the bottom for explanation) with a lovely lady by the name of Irene, I was pretty sceptical before I went in for the appointment and decided that as its quite expensive (£40 per half hour session) it would be a one-off to check that I'm not lacking in a specific vitamin or supplement. How wrong can you be?? Irene operates from her home and has a room with a bed and charts all over the wall, all looks very good, prior to going in I had filled in a form detailing my health issues and what supplements and diet fads I had. She asked straight away for my blood group of which I did not know "no problem, she said I can give you that" a small prick on the index finger and we had enough blood to put to the test it showed that I am A positive (this cost an extra £10) (I did ask my GP and Onc. but they didn't know my blood group, or so they say, of course they know as I've had surgery!!!!!) So now armed with what blood group I am she produced as booklet A4 sized of about 8 sheets of paper listing Highly beneficial, Neutral and Avoid everything is listed under one of these sections, red meat (as I'd always thought) is a complete no no (good job I don't eat the stuff then eh!) Unfortunately there was a lot of stuff I do eat that are in the dreaded Avoid section including cows milk, butter, wheat, certain nuts, seeds, beans, oils (far too many to mention) and surprisingly anything remotely orange including the daily vit c supplement that I take, so it would seem a revised clear out of the larder and supplement shelf is in order. uhhhhhhhhhhh thought I'd bloody covered it all when I went on my year long research bender, flipping hell.
In addition to the blood group diet she also got me to lie on the table where she proceeded to perform a series of moves known as Kinesiology on me I was to resist when she pushed on me this gave her the information she needed to ascertain that both my kidneys and liver were damaged probably due to the toxins in the chemo and apparently the bad supplements I have imposed on myself. Ironically when she tested the part of my body that coincides with the lungs she said "nothing wrong with your lungs good and healthy" this has pleased me no end :0) happy dance.
There was I thinking I was on top of everything when in fact some of the stuff I've been taking has been hindering me or making my poor liver and kidneys function worse! So the upshot is I'm going to have to start again on the supplement and diet content.
Irene prescribed I buy Vitamin B/Complex with added magnesium to my arsenal as well as something called Milk Thistle Tincture and Vitamin C (bought from a reputable store see below links*) and Vit D but again in liquid format. Irene also told me not too buy anything from Holland and Barratt oh dear!!! yep you guessed it thats where I get all my stuff she recommended a couple of brands Viridian and A. Vogel both are excellent organic producers but unfortunately they are expensive. So I've put away all my supplements (not throwing them away yet) and kept out the few she agreed I could continue taking, so my supplements list looks something like this at the moment.
x1 Opti Bac for Immunity
x3 Acai Berrie
x2 Turmeric capsules
x1 B/Complex with Magnesium
x2 Vitamin C (with no orange in it)
x2 20 drops in water of Milk Thistle Tincture
Vitamin D in spray formula
All of this was for me personally and for someone with a A+ blood group, so if anyone is interested in Kinesiology I would suggest that you go on this site http://www.kinesiologyfederation.co.uk to find a qualified practitioner in your area and try and find out your blood group from your doctor if your like me and had surgery they will have your blood group somewhere on file.
Links to verified brands http://www.avogel.co.uk and http://www.viridian-nutrition.com
Blood type diet book writer Dr Peter D Adamo http://www.dadamo.com/ and if your blood type A and have breast cancer then this is worth a read http://naturalhealthtechniques.com/specificdiseasesbreast_cancer_blood_type_a.htm
*The Kinesiology Federation gives the following definition:
'Kinesiology, literally the study of body movement, is a holistic approach to balancing the movement and interaction of a person's energy systems. Gentle assessment of muscle response monitors those areas where blocks and imbalances are impairing physical, emotional or energetic well -being. The same method can identify factors that may be contributing to such imbalances. The body's natural healing responses are stimulated by attention to reflex and acupressure points, and by use of specific body movements and nutritional support. These can lead to increased physical and mental, emotional and spiritual well-being.'
In addition to the blood group diet she also got me to lie on the table where she proceeded to perform a series of moves known as Kinesiology on me I was to resist when she pushed on me this gave her the information she needed to ascertain that both my kidneys and liver were damaged probably due to the toxins in the chemo and apparently the bad supplements I have imposed on myself. Ironically when she tested the part of my body that coincides with the lungs she said "nothing wrong with your lungs good and healthy" this has pleased me no end :0) happy dance.
There was I thinking I was on top of everything when in fact some of the stuff I've been taking has been hindering me or making my poor liver and kidneys function worse! So the upshot is I'm going to have to start again on the supplement and diet content.
Irene prescribed I buy Vitamin B/Complex with added magnesium to my arsenal as well as something called Milk Thistle Tincture and Vitamin C (bought from a reputable store see below links*) and Vit D but again in liquid format. Irene also told me not too buy anything from Holland and Barratt oh dear!!! yep you guessed it thats where I get all my stuff she recommended a couple of brands Viridian and A. Vogel both are excellent organic producers but unfortunately they are expensive. So I've put away all my supplements (not throwing them away yet) and kept out the few she agreed I could continue taking, so my supplements list looks something like this at the moment.
x1 Opti Bac for Immunity
x3 Acai Berrie
x2 Turmeric capsules
x1 B/Complex with Magnesium
x2 Vitamin C (with no orange in it)
x2 20 drops in water of Milk Thistle Tincture
Vitamin D in spray formula
All of this was for me personally and for someone with a A+ blood group, so if anyone is interested in Kinesiology I would suggest that you go on this site http://www.kinesiologyfederation.co.uk to find a qualified practitioner in your area and try and find out your blood group from your doctor if your like me and had surgery they will have your blood group somewhere on file.
Links to verified brands http://www.avogel.co.uk and http://www.viridian-nutrition.com
Blood type diet book writer Dr Peter D Adamo http://www.dadamo.com/ and if your blood type A and have breast cancer then this is worth a read http://naturalhealthtechniques.com/specificdiseasesbreast_cancer_blood_type_a.htm
*The Kinesiology Federation gives the following definition:
'Kinesiology, literally the study of body movement, is a holistic approach to balancing the movement and interaction of a person's energy systems. Gentle assessment of muscle response monitors those areas where blocks and imbalances are impairing physical, emotional or energetic well -being. The same method can identify factors that may be contributing to such imbalances. The body's natural healing responses are stimulated by attention to reflex and acupressure points, and by use of specific body movements and nutritional support. These can lead to increased physical and mental, emotional and spiritual well-being.'
Thursday, 15 November 2012
Two falls and a massive bruise.....
Hello all in blogger land,
I'm still waiting for results of my recent scans and have an appointment booked for early December which does seem like a long way off but I am not unduly worried about it and have managed for the first time to put it to the back of my mind.
Anyway I have other pressing worries on my mind at the moment, the first being the fact that I keep falling over!!! what the hell is the matter with me?? I'm wondering whether its all the weight I've put on over the past 6 months and the fact that I was always a size 8 before all of this cancer shit happened to me, the chemo and steroids started the weight gain and I think the tamoxifen is now adding to it, I've gone from a healthy 9st to nearly 11st totally scary!!! I'm not used to being this size and feel a bit like an alien in my own body! The first fall was in a shop (embarrassing) down the stairs and a literally went flying but apart from my pride nothing else was broken or hurt. The second fall was last night in my studio where I tripped up over my old easel and landed on one of the nuts/bolts on my right hand side buttock it really hurt and I woke up at 5am today with a painful throb! On closer inspection the grazed skin now looks like I've had a mastectomy on it!! The bruise is massive and extends down my leg I'm really pissed with myself because I am going to a Craft Fair today (birthday pressie from BF includes cream tea) and can't walk as I now have a limp so might have to get out an old granny stick (crazy at my age 45). You have too laugh tho, I'm sat with the affected buttock raised as I can't really sit on it lol. I'm thinking that I will phone up the Dr's surgery and get an early appointment just so they can check it out and make sure it's not infected or anything, it really is quite alarmingly looking. Falling over is scary the last time I did anything like was when I was a kid, you just can't quite believe your on the floor its a shock!
I'm still waiting for results of my recent scans and have an appointment booked for early December which does seem like a long way off but I am not unduly worried about it and have managed for the first time to put it to the back of my mind.
Anyway I have other pressing worries on my mind at the moment, the first being the fact that I keep falling over!!! what the hell is the matter with me?? I'm wondering whether its all the weight I've put on over the past 6 months and the fact that I was always a size 8 before all of this cancer shit happened to me, the chemo and steroids started the weight gain and I think the tamoxifen is now adding to it, I've gone from a healthy 9st to nearly 11st totally scary!!! I'm not used to being this size and feel a bit like an alien in my own body! The first fall was in a shop (embarrassing) down the stairs and a literally went flying but apart from my pride nothing else was broken or hurt. The second fall was last night in my studio where I tripped up over my old easel and landed on one of the nuts/bolts on my right hand side buttock it really hurt and I woke up at 5am today with a painful throb! On closer inspection the grazed skin now looks like I've had a mastectomy on it!! The bruise is massive and extends down my leg I'm really pissed with myself because I am going to a Craft Fair today (birthday pressie from BF includes cream tea) and can't walk as I now have a limp so might have to get out an old granny stick (crazy at my age 45). You have too laugh tho, I'm sat with the affected buttock raised as I can't really sit on it lol. I'm thinking that I will phone up the Dr's surgery and get an early appointment just so they can check it out and make sure it's not infected or anything, it really is quite alarmingly looking. Falling over is scary the last time I did anything like was when I was a kid, you just can't quite believe your on the floor its a shock!
Friday, 10 August 2012
Now its my kidneys!!!!!
Today I went for my routine oncology appointment, of course I never get to see my actual oncologist instead I see one of the registrars a russian woman ( FYI I am not a racist and never have been BUT) her english is terrible, so hard to understand what she is saying I have to really concentrate on it also she has a tendency to smirk at me when I am asking her very important questions or discussing side effects! Why would you do that? this is supposed to be a serious conversation! Anyway back to the appointment she told me just as we were leaving last time that my kidneys were showing a above normal high number (whatever the fuck that means!) she told me to drink loads of water and not take Ibuprofen or Aspirin (I don't take these medicines anyway and drink tons of water) and again this time she told me that my creatinine levels were high again she reiterated what she told me last time to drink plenty and not to take certain medicines. I also told her about my migraines, my swollen stomach and back which I now realise is my kidneys, she told me these were all symptoms of going through the menopause and did not seem worried about it, in fact she smirked when I told her!. I'm now a bit worried to say the least as I have googled it and the following post is what I found, its a bit long but if you are in the same position I suggest you take this in.
Acute renal failure is a malfunction of the kidneys so that they are unable to perform their vital functions, one of the most important of which is filtering out waste. Some cancer treatments cause damage to the kidneys that can result in acute kidney failure. Kidney damage is usually reversible if it is carefully managed to control the life-threatening complications. Once the drug or drugs that are causing the kidney damage are stopped, treatment focuses on preventing the excess accumulation of fluid and waste while allowing the kidneys to heal.
What is acute renal failure?
Acute renal failure is a malfunction of the kidneys so that they are unable to perform the vital function of filtering out waste from the blood. Acute renal failure may be caused by decreased blood supply to the kidneys from drugs or infection, direct toxic damage to the kidneys, or by blockage in the urinary system. The most common cause of acute renal failure in cancer patients is damage to the cells in the kidney.
The kidneys are fist-sized organs located in your lower back, near your spine. Their chief functions are to filter out waste products and regulate electrolytes and water levels. When the body breaks down protein from the diet for energy or building tissues, it produces a waste product called urea. Urea circulates in the blood until it is filtered out by the kidneys and excreted in the urine. When the kidneys are not functioning properly, filtration is reduced and urea builds up in the blood. Also, the balance of electrolytes and water cannot be adequately regulated, sometimes resulting in a buildup of potassium, sodium, and fluid.
Kidney damage may also result in increased excretion of protein in the urine. Protein is an important component in our blood that carries food, hormones, and many other things through the body. Under normal conditions, blood proteins do not pass through the kidneys into the urine because they are too big. If you have kidney damage, protein may pass into your urine. Protein in the urine may be a sign of temporary or permanent kidney damage or failure.
What causes kidney damage?
Some chemotherapy drugs and biologic therapies can cause kidney damage. Chemotherapy causes renal dysfunction by damaging the blood vessels or structures of the kidneys. The chemotherapy drugs that are most likely to cause kidney damage are listed below.
Kidney damage occurs in 30 percent or more of patients using the following chemotherapy drugs:
Cytosar-U® (cytarabine)
Gemzar® (gemcitabine)
Ifex® (ifosfamide)
Platinol® (cisplatin)
Proleukin® (interleukin-2)
Zanosar® (streptozocin)
Kidney damage occurs in 10 percent to 29 percent of patients using the following chemotherapy drugs:
Alimta® (pemetrexed)
Eloxatin® (oxaliplatin)
Mithracin® (plicamycin)
Mylotarg® (gemtuzumab ozogamicin)
Neutrexin® (trimetrexate)
Paraplatin® (carboplatin)
Rheumatrex® (methotrexate)
What are the symptoms of kidney damage?
You may not have any symptoms of kidney damage. However, you should notify your doctor if you exhibit any of the following:
Decrease in amount of urine or frequency
Pain or urgency with urination
Dark urine
Blood in your urine
Fatigue
Muscle weakness
Swelling in your feet or ankles
Nausea or vomiting
Confusion, seizure
Notify your doctor immediately if your urine output decreases or stops.
How is kidney damage diagnosed?
1. Blood levels of two products of normal body function, blood urea nitrogen and creatinine, are used to diagnose kidney problems.
Blood urea nitrogen (BUN) - The waste product from the breakdown of protein is called urea. Urea circulates in the blood until it is filtered out by the kidneys and excreted in the urine. If the kidneys are not functioning properly, there will be excess urea in the bloodstream. Under normal conditions, BUN levels range from 10 to 25 mg/dL (milligrams per deciliter) of blood.
Creatinine - Some of the energy for your muscles is derived from burning a substance called creatine. Creatinine is the waste product left after the breakdown of creatine. The kidneys are normally able to filter out large amounts of creatinine on a daily basis. However, when your kidneys are not functioning properly, your creatinine levels will increase. Under normal conditions, creatinine levels range from 0.7 to 1.4 mg/dL (milligrams per deciliter) of blood.
2. Urine changes are frequently seen as a result of kidney damage. Bloody or turbid urine or a major decrease or increase in the amount of urine you produce may indicate kidney damage. A urinalysis done by a laboratory often will show changes that are characteristic of kidney damage. For example, an increase in red blood cells, white blood cells, protein, or casts (abnormal structures in your urine) are frequent signs of kidney damage.
How is kidney damage treated?
Kidney damage is usually reversible, if it is carefully managed to control the life-threatening complications. Once the drug or drugs that are causing the kidney damage are stopped, treatment focuses on preventing the excess accumulation of fluids and wastes while allowing the kidneys to heal. This may be achieved in several ways, including diuretics, sodium polystyrene sulfonate, diet modification, dialysis, or drugs.
Diuretics - Commonly known as water pills. Your doctor may prescribe a diuretic to increase the amount of water you excrete in the urine. A commonly used diuretic is Lasix® (furosemide).
Sodium polystyrene sulfonate - This medication helps lower the amount of potassium in your blood by binding with the potassium in your stomach or gut so that you excrete it. This medication is administered by mouth or in an enema. Brand names include Kayexcalate® and Kionex®.
Diet modification - Your doctor may recommend that you restrict substances that are normally excreted by the kidney. This may include food high in protein, sodium (salt), and potassium.
Dialysis - Dialysis is the use of a machine to remove excess waste and fluid. Your blood is routed through the dialysis machine then back into your body. Dialysis is not necessary for every patient, but may be lifesaving, particularly if you have very high levels of potassium and urea in your blood.
Drugs - Ethyol® (amifostine), sodium thiosulfate, and diethyldithiocarbamate may help prevent or reduce the kidney toxicity associated with Platinol® (cisplatin).
How can kidney damage be prevented?
The best measure for preventing kidney damage is to avoid treatments that cause it. Under certain circumstances, your doctor may also apply the following approaches:
Urinary alkalization and hydration - Urinary alkalization and increased hydration provides protection against kidney damage caused by Rheumatrex® (methotrexate).
Ethyol® (amifostine) - Clinical trials have shown that amifostine protects against kidney toxicity related to cisplatin chemotherapy.
It is a good idea to increase fluid intake the day before, of, and after receiving a chemotherapy treatment to help flush the byproducts out of your body.
Acute renal failure is a malfunction of the kidneys so that they are unable to perform their vital functions, one of the most important of which is filtering out waste. Some cancer treatments cause damage to the kidneys that can result in acute kidney failure. Kidney damage is usually reversible if it is carefully managed to control the life-threatening complications. Once the drug or drugs that are causing the kidney damage are stopped, treatment focuses on preventing the excess accumulation of fluid and waste while allowing the kidneys to heal.
What is acute renal failure?
Acute renal failure is a malfunction of the kidneys so that they are unable to perform the vital function of filtering out waste from the blood. Acute renal failure may be caused by decreased blood supply to the kidneys from drugs or infection, direct toxic damage to the kidneys, or by blockage in the urinary system. The most common cause of acute renal failure in cancer patients is damage to the cells in the kidney.
The kidneys are fist-sized organs located in your lower back, near your spine. Their chief functions are to filter out waste products and regulate electrolytes and water levels. When the body breaks down protein from the diet for energy or building tissues, it produces a waste product called urea. Urea circulates in the blood until it is filtered out by the kidneys and excreted in the urine. When the kidneys are not functioning properly, filtration is reduced and urea builds up in the blood. Also, the balance of electrolytes and water cannot be adequately regulated, sometimes resulting in a buildup of potassium, sodium, and fluid.
Kidney damage may also result in increased excretion of protein in the urine. Protein is an important component in our blood that carries food, hormones, and many other things through the body. Under normal conditions, blood proteins do not pass through the kidneys into the urine because they are too big. If you have kidney damage, protein may pass into your urine. Protein in the urine may be a sign of temporary or permanent kidney damage or failure.
What causes kidney damage?
Some chemotherapy drugs and biologic therapies can cause kidney damage. Chemotherapy causes renal dysfunction by damaging the blood vessels or structures of the kidneys. The chemotherapy drugs that are most likely to cause kidney damage are listed below.
Kidney damage occurs in 30 percent or more of patients using the following chemotherapy drugs:
Cytosar-U® (cytarabine)
Gemzar® (gemcitabine)
Ifex® (ifosfamide)
Platinol® (cisplatin)
Proleukin® (interleukin-2)
Zanosar® (streptozocin)
Kidney damage occurs in 10 percent to 29 percent of patients using the following chemotherapy drugs:
Alimta® (pemetrexed)
Eloxatin® (oxaliplatin)
Mithracin® (plicamycin)
Mylotarg® (gemtuzumab ozogamicin)
Neutrexin® (trimetrexate)
Paraplatin® (carboplatin)
Rheumatrex® (methotrexate)
What are the symptoms of kidney damage?
You may not have any symptoms of kidney damage. However, you should notify your doctor if you exhibit any of the following:
Decrease in amount of urine or frequency
Pain or urgency with urination
Dark urine
Blood in your urine
Fatigue
Muscle weakness
Swelling in your feet or ankles
Nausea or vomiting
Confusion, seizure
Notify your doctor immediately if your urine output decreases or stops.
How is kidney damage diagnosed?
1. Blood levels of two products of normal body function, blood urea nitrogen and creatinine, are used to diagnose kidney problems.
Blood urea nitrogen (BUN) - The waste product from the breakdown of protein is called urea. Urea circulates in the blood until it is filtered out by the kidneys and excreted in the urine. If the kidneys are not functioning properly, there will be excess urea in the bloodstream. Under normal conditions, BUN levels range from 10 to 25 mg/dL (milligrams per deciliter) of blood.
Creatinine - Some of the energy for your muscles is derived from burning a substance called creatine. Creatinine is the waste product left after the breakdown of creatine. The kidneys are normally able to filter out large amounts of creatinine on a daily basis. However, when your kidneys are not functioning properly, your creatinine levels will increase. Under normal conditions, creatinine levels range from 0.7 to 1.4 mg/dL (milligrams per deciliter) of blood.
2. Urine changes are frequently seen as a result of kidney damage. Bloody or turbid urine or a major decrease or increase in the amount of urine you produce may indicate kidney damage. A urinalysis done by a laboratory often will show changes that are characteristic of kidney damage. For example, an increase in red blood cells, white blood cells, protein, or casts (abnormal structures in your urine) are frequent signs of kidney damage.
How is kidney damage treated?
Kidney damage is usually reversible, if it is carefully managed to control the life-threatening complications. Once the drug or drugs that are causing the kidney damage are stopped, treatment focuses on preventing the excess accumulation of fluids and wastes while allowing the kidneys to heal. This may be achieved in several ways, including diuretics, sodium polystyrene sulfonate, diet modification, dialysis, or drugs.
Diuretics - Commonly known as water pills. Your doctor may prescribe a diuretic to increase the amount of water you excrete in the urine. A commonly used diuretic is Lasix® (furosemide).
Sodium polystyrene sulfonate - This medication helps lower the amount of potassium in your blood by binding with the potassium in your stomach or gut so that you excrete it. This medication is administered by mouth or in an enema. Brand names include Kayexcalate® and Kionex®.
Diet modification - Your doctor may recommend that you restrict substances that are normally excreted by the kidney. This may include food high in protein, sodium (salt), and potassium.
Dialysis - Dialysis is the use of a machine to remove excess waste and fluid. Your blood is routed through the dialysis machine then back into your body. Dialysis is not necessary for every patient, but may be lifesaving, particularly if you have very high levels of potassium and urea in your blood.
Drugs - Ethyol® (amifostine), sodium thiosulfate, and diethyldithiocarbamate may help prevent or reduce the kidney toxicity associated with Platinol® (cisplatin).
How can kidney damage be prevented?
The best measure for preventing kidney damage is to avoid treatments that cause it. Under certain circumstances, your doctor may also apply the following approaches:
Urinary alkalization and hydration - Urinary alkalization and increased hydration provides protection against kidney damage caused by Rheumatrex® (methotrexate).
Ethyol® (amifostine) - Clinical trials have shown that amifostine protects against kidney toxicity related to cisplatin chemotherapy.
It is a good idea to increase fluid intake the day before, of, and after receiving a chemotherapy treatment to help flush the byproducts out of your body.
Still reading? mind blowing! its so complicated and serious and I was just brushed off like it was an everyday occurrence, unbelievable! I have another appointment booked for 2 months time on the 12th of October when they will probably do another CT scan, I'm now going to look into it further and see if there is anything I can do for myself like diet etc. When I have researched thoroughly I will post my findings.
Tuesday, 26 June 2012
Tamoxifen and weight gain.....
I am coming up to a 1 year anniversary, its one year since I finished chemo and joyfully, and it's one year since I started on the dreaded tamoxifen, its taken the best part of a year and much munching on my part (increased appetite) and whilst I am eternally grateful for the drug and the fact that I have access to it I am not so happy about the weight gain, admittedly I have been chomping for England lol but seriously not that bad, I have given up red meat and only eat chicken once a month, I green juice everyday and drink a pint of the good stuff, I have to admit that chocolate has become my one weakness and I will happily woof down a whole bag of Revels but what else can you nibble on, trying like mad to cut out cheese and butter, basically just looking at anything with fat in it makes me put on weight. Up until this dx I had stayed the same size since the age of 18 size 8-10, able to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and didn't give the weight issue any thought, now I am a size 12 and feel that even the size 12 clothes I have are tight on me, this is a nightmare, going to have to do some more exercise and try and loose this weight the only trouble is I'm not sure if you can loose weight on tamoxifen, I been given to understand that the way tamoxifen works with your metabolism it slows it down, this makes sense but the side effect is weight gain, also as I am now in early menopause naturally weight will go on especially round the middle, its a total bummer, will be looking on the forum too see what others have experienced and what can be done about it.
I was starting too feel sort of normal again and then I realised I'd put on a mountain of weight and feel a bit crushed now, ah well I suppose the alternative and not taking tamoxifen is just too awful to comprehend, added to that I also am suffering endless bouts of constipation and as a result have a sore rear end, breast cancer is such a shit! this disease just keeps on giving :0(
I was starting too feel sort of normal again and then I realised I'd put on a mountain of weight and feel a bit crushed now, ah well I suppose the alternative and not taking tamoxifen is just too awful to comprehend, added to that I also am suffering endless bouts of constipation and as a result have a sore rear end, breast cancer is such a shit! this disease just keeps on giving :0(
Wednesday, 6 June 2012
Note to self... Can I come back as a cat in the next life....
Feeling perky today, went into town shopping for some of those shape-up shoes only too find none in my size in TK Maxx and I'm not buying them anywhere else cause they are way too much money at £89 quid in TK's they are only £20. Made an appointment with the lovely lady on the 'Bare Minerals' counter for a make over as this range is paraben free and basically trying to take my mind off the fact that I get my CT scan results on friday....no its not working I'm not taking my mind off anything only kidding myself.
Anyway back to the title of this post, thats right gonna come back as a cat in the next life please cause they got it good, here's some pics of my gorgeous pair, my partner Lee bought Mitzi a Bengal for me nearly 4 years ago only too find that he'd bought a pregnant cat we let her have her kittens and found great homes for all of them, we kept one and named him Ted he's massive and looks a bit like a Maine Coon breed of cat, I love them both so very much. Mitzi is my constant companion, she would sit with me when I was going through the awful chemo and keeps me company on my off days, besides the fact that she knew something was wrong with me she kept nudging and sniffing the affected armpit and breast. Anyway here's the promised pics xx
Anyway back to the title of this post, thats right gonna come back as a cat in the next life please cause they got it good, here's some pics of my gorgeous pair, my partner Lee bought Mitzi a Bengal for me nearly 4 years ago only too find that he'd bought a pregnant cat we let her have her kittens and found great homes for all of them, we kept one and named him Ted he's massive and looks a bit like a Maine Coon breed of cat, I love them both so very much. Mitzi is my constant companion, she would sit with me when I was going through the awful chemo and keeps me company on my off days, besides the fact that she knew something was wrong with me she kept nudging and sniffing the affected armpit and breast. Anyway here's the promised pics xx
Friday, 3 February 2012
Sore Skin, Egyptian Mummy
Finished the rads last wednesday YAY, skin feeling sore and tight not so yay :0( also had another 2 day migrane/nausea going to see my onc on Monday the 6th Feb so will discuss this with him as well as the severe hot flushes/night sweats causing me to wake-up, the neuropathy (nerve damage) in both feet and hands, the incessant dry coughing, and the back/shoulder pains. Busy making a list to take in with me as I do forget things, now that the chemo has fogged my brain. Totally wiped out! Feel constantly tired and fatigued. So just waiting now for the next CT scan to see if all this treatment has worked, praying that everything is still 'tiny and stable' just like before xmas or better yet NED (no evidence of disease).
I feel like I'm living on the edge of my nerves most of the time emotionally fraught, its not the cancer its the thought and the knowledge that it will eventually kill me, the best analogie is its like watching a 10 ton truck hurtling towards you and not being physically able to get out of the way, people say things like "you could get run over by a bus" "none of us know when our time is up" at least if I was going to be hit by a bus I would be killed instantly and not have the agonizing knowledge of my impeding death, these statements even though they are well meaning actually are a huge cop out of facing whats actually wrong with me, lets face it they would not be saying any of those things if I did not have cancer, I suppose people try to go around the issue of cancer by using those excuses, it's like when someone say's one of those one liners to me its a way of shuting me up, and not facing whats wrong with me probably because I don't look ill they just cannot correlate that I am terminally ill.
Then theirs the people that just avoid me cause they either cannot cope with it or just don't know what else to say again these people mean well to a certain extent but why does it make me feel like I've done this on purpose just to make everyone feel uncomfortable or upset of course I know I have not done this intentionally no one knows why anyone gets cancer or as my oncologist put it "if we knew what caused cancer we would have a cure" its the scourge of society and has been for a very very long time. I read recently that an egyptian mummy was put through a CT scanner and they found tumors on the prostate/pelvis and spine of the unfortunate individual indicating that they had died of cancer interesting read heres the link http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2093675/2-200-year-old-Egyptian-mummy-prostate-cancer.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
end of today's annoyance and back to the beautiful wintery sunny day outside.
Love to all
XXX
I feel like I'm living on the edge of my nerves most of the time emotionally fraught, its not the cancer its the thought and the knowledge that it will eventually kill me, the best analogie is its like watching a 10 ton truck hurtling towards you and not being physically able to get out of the way, people say things like "you could get run over by a bus" "none of us know when our time is up" at least if I was going to be hit by a bus I would be killed instantly and not have the agonizing knowledge of my impeding death, these statements even though they are well meaning actually are a huge cop out of facing whats actually wrong with me, lets face it they would not be saying any of those things if I did not have cancer, I suppose people try to go around the issue of cancer by using those excuses, it's like when someone say's one of those one liners to me its a way of shuting me up, and not facing whats wrong with me probably because I don't look ill they just cannot correlate that I am terminally ill.
Then theirs the people that just avoid me cause they either cannot cope with it or just don't know what else to say again these people mean well to a certain extent but why does it make me feel like I've done this on purpose just to make everyone feel uncomfortable or upset of course I know I have not done this intentionally no one knows why anyone gets cancer or as my oncologist put it "if we knew what caused cancer we would have a cure" its the scourge of society and has been for a very very long time. I read recently that an egyptian mummy was put through a CT scanner and they found tumors on the prostate/pelvis and spine of the unfortunate individual indicating that they had died of cancer interesting read heres the link http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2093675/2-200-year-old-Egyptian-mummy-prostate-cancer.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
end of today's annoyance and back to the beautiful wintery sunny day outside.
Love to all
XXX
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