September has to be the best month this year so far of course May was pretty amazeballs as well due to the exhibition. From the start to the end of this month I've been blessed. Surrounded by exciting visitors, then going on holiday visiting Weston and the Banksy exhibit then on to Center Parc's which was absolutely fabulous.
Banksy is the best. The exhibition is fabulous at bringing to attention the sicko society that we are all a part of.. Sarcasm rules at this non- fun park with stupid people buying balloons that said "I am an imbecile" WTF! I mean they actually paid good money for that balloon and paraded it around like it was a trophy!!!! Most of the exhibits address pressing social issues like the immigrant crisis where model remote control boats full of immigrants are forever going round and round not being able to stop anywhere. The most poignant for me was the fairy tale castle as you walk inside you are asked by the stroppy attendants "do you want a photo?" as I am not into having my photo taken at all I refused but plenty of others queued up to have a snap as you walk into the castle you are thrown into pitch darkness the sound of a million cameras clicking in front of Cinderella's carriage which has crashed with Cinderella hanging out of it, I was told by the assistant to stand in a particular spot to take the photo's and realised just how utterly awful the scene was obviously it was pointing to Lady Diana's untimely end at the hands of the paparazzi for a minute or two I stood feeling like Lady Di might have been feeling it made me feel extremely emotional and at a loss as to why humanity has decided to treat certain people in this way literally loved to death, hounded by photographers. This is how we society treats our fairytale princess. On the way out of the castle the people who had had there photograph taken were asked to queue again to my horror there faces were superimposed onto that of the paparazzi taking the shots of the dead princess this sealed my earlier thoughts on this exhibit. My favourite was the image of Mickey Mouse with the words "because life's not a fairytale" this resonated with me on so many levels. I did kind of enjoy Dismaland some of it was funny like the grim reaper sat in a bumper car going round to the sound of "Staying Alive" by the Bee Gees and the stroppy assistants who kept up the misery from the moment we went in. Dismaland is not for the faint hearted but certainly strikes a chord.
7 old friends at Center Parc's we'd booked it ages ago to celebrate one of the girls 50th birthday not sure what to expect and thinking it was more suited to sporty types I went along with some trepidation how wrong can you be! It was bloody marvellous our wooden lodge was neatly nestled in a massive pine tree forest that in itself was awesome. The lodge was fantastic all bedrooms were really clean and smart with en-suite power showers we also had a games room including pool table and brand new Xbox , a sauna, outside table and chairs with a bar-b-que and shower. The weekend was spent lounging around in the lodge or swimming in the wonderful water park where the water was hot inside and outside open to 9pm at night so floating around in warm water watching the stars was the order of the day. Of course there are plenty of other activities however, we all decided that as middle aged woman we wouldn't be taking part other than to lift a latte or down a bit of choccy cake (diet was temporarily off over the weekend) just chatting with old friends who have known me both before and after cancer was therapeutic making me realise how lucky I am to have such great friends who care and comfort me even if they don't realise the effect they are having on me just by being there being normal and talking as if nothing was ever wrong was such a tonic. Occasionally over the weekend cancer did raise its ugly head mainly when I walked into the pool for a swim (more like a float lol) obviously a one breasted woman stands out and at times I was feeling like the only woman/man in there whose had this bastard of a disease others probably hide it whereas the prosthetic which is so very uncomfortable is not an option for me. The warm water did wonders for me once in the pool I looked just like very one else and could float about looking up at the stars in a flood lit pool surrounded by good friends and fairy lights. Center Parc's is not cheap its kind of like the posher Butlins only much much better with no corny entertainment. Considering this is the first holiday since being dx I think I deserved to lounge around and feel great. Highly recommend this to anyone who needs quality time with people they love in different surroundings and the luxury of a first class stay.
Showing posts with label healing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label healing. Show all posts
Friday, 25 September 2015
Friday, 15 May 2015
Wounded healer, dark night of the soul
The title of this post is a interesting spiritual concept. Wounded healer sounds like a name for an Indian in actual fact its the creation of the eminent psychologist Carl Jung the idea states that an analyst is compelled to treat patients because the analyst himself is 'wounded'. I understand this to mean in order to help those affected by an illness or a disease the healer needs to experience the affliction. I came across this ideology after having a numerology report. Its not something I have done every year but the link kept crossing my path and I decided this one time to act upon it. I am and always have been a seriously spiritual person and have developed my own understanding of the after life and what happens its my own personal belief system. I feel we all need to develop an understanding by ourselves of what it means to be human and where we go after we die. The numerology report was an eye opener and so accurate it described me my life and personality including all my bad traits (which I recognised) but more importantly it made me aware of this 'Wounded Healer' concept indeed possibility. Here's the part of the report that talks about Wounded Healer.
Eckhart on the Dark Night of the Soul
Q: Have you ever experienced the dark night of the soul? Your teachings have been so helpful through this difficult period. Can you address this subject?
A: The “dark night of the soul” is a term that goes back a long time. Yes, I have also experienced it. It is a term used to describe what one could call a collapse of a perceived meaning in life…an eruption into your life of a deep sense of meaninglessness. The inner state in some cases is very close to what is conventionally called depression. Nothing makes sense anymore, there’s no purpose to anything. Sometimes it’s triggered by some external event, some disaster perhaps, on an external level. The death of someone close to you could trigger it, especially premature death, for example if your child dies. Or you had built up your life, and given it meaning – and the meaning that you had given your life, your activities, your achievements, where you are going, what is considered important, and the meaning that you had given your life for some reason collapses.
It can happen if something happens that you can’t explain away anymore, some disaster which seems to invalidate the meaning that your life had before. Really what has collapsed then is the whole conceptual framework for your life, the meaning that your mind had given it. So that results in a dark place. But people have gone into that, and then there is the possibility that you emerge out of that into a transformed state of consciousness. Life has meaning again, but it’s no longer a conceptual meaning that you can necessarily explain. Quite often it’s from there that people awaken out of their conceptual sense of reality, which has collapsed.
They awaken into something deeper, which is no longer based on concepts in your mind. A deeper sense of purpose or connectedness with a greater life that is not dependent on explanations or anything conceptual any longer. It’s a kind of re-birth. The dark night of the soul is a kind of death that you die. What dies is the egoic sense of self. Of course, death is always painful, but nothing real has actually died there – only an illusory identity. Now it is probably the case that some people who’ve gone through this transformation realized that they had to go through that, in order to bring about a spiritual awakening. Often it is part of the awakening process, the death of the old self and the birth of the true self.
The first lesson in A Course in Miracles says “Nothing I see in this room means anything”, and you’re supposed to look around the room at whatever you happen to be looking at, and you say “this doesn’t mean anything”, “that doesn’t mean anything”. What is the purpose of a lesson like that? It’s a little bit like re-creating what can happen during the dark night of the soul. It’s the collapse of a mind-made meaning, conceptual meaning, of life… believing that you understand “what it’s all about”. With A Course in Miracles, it’s a voluntary relinquishment of the human mind-made meaning that is projected, and you go voluntary into saying “I don’t know what this means”, “this doesn’t mean anything”. You wipe the board clean. In the dark night of the soul it collapses.
You are meant to arrive at a place of conceptual meaninglessness. Or one could say a state of ignorance – where things lose the meaning that you had given them, which was all conditioned and cultural and so on. Then you can look upon the world without imposing a mind-made framework of meaning. It looks of course as if you no longer understand anything. That’s why it’s so scary when it happens to you, instead of you actually consciously embracing it. It can bring about the dark night of the soul – to go around the Universe without any longer interpreting it compulsively, as an innocent presence. You look upon events, people, and so on with a deep sense of aliveness. Your sense the aliveness through your own sense of aliveness, but you are not trying to fit your experience into a conceptual framework anymore.
"Your attitude towards life in general is very selfless and you usually have a good connection with God or a higher power. However often the number 9 faces a unique challenge at some point in his or her life that seems to be a test of faith. Usually this incident takes the form of a devastating personal loss, disease or some sort of tragedy. This triggers a period of time that lasts a few years that is often called the "dark night of the soul." It is usually during this period of your life that you find the extreme courage and strength to become what is called a wounded healer."
Leading up to the point of getting this numerology report I had been questioning myself as I do periodically why I got breast cancer? I walked through the woods and up on the coastline pondering this question and as usual I didn't get any answers until I got back and sat at my computer, I am so so glad I decided that I'd get this report done (it was free). For me I finally understand spiritually why I got cancer and why I write this blog. Its important to look into everything even the seemingly bizarre especially when it comes to something as random as cancer. Somebody had to talk about the spiritual side of cancer as well as looking into alternative treatments and unconventional approaches to drugs and treatment and that someone is me. I thought the idea of this blog was to write all of this down so that I could make sense of the mountains of conflicting information out there on this subject. I realise now that this may of been the reason for starting the blog but in actual fact its not the only reason I am writing down this stuff its for other reasons and 'wounded healer' is one of them. To say I am blown away by all of this is an understatement, to me its enlightenment.
Further information on Wounded Healer
In Greek myths, Chiron was the wisest of the Centaurs and the archetype of the Wounded Healer
He was accidentally wounded by an arrow that had been dipped in the blood of the Hydra
In his search for his own cure, he discovered how to heal others
In teaching others the healing arts, he found a measure of solace from his own pain
The Wounded Healer understands what the patient feels because he has gone through the same pain
The suffering patient can be cared for by the Healer and be instrumental in the Healers own healing
Each encounter between Healer and patient can be transforming for both
The lesson of Chiron teaches us is that we can overcome pain and transcend into knowledge
That each of us can become a Wounded Healer
Here's a link to a short film on youtube that explores this concept and explains the symbology and ancient belief system behind it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orxEawi9qro
Further information on Wounded Healer
In Greek myths, Chiron was the wisest of the Centaurs and the archetype of the Wounded Healer
He was accidentally wounded by an arrow that had been dipped in the blood of the Hydra
In his search for his own cure, he discovered how to heal others
In teaching others the healing arts, he found a measure of solace from his own pain
The Wounded Healer understands what the patient feels because he has gone through the same pain
The suffering patient can be cared for by the Healer and be instrumental in the Healers own healing
Each encounter between Healer and patient can be transforming for both
The lesson of Chiron teaches us is that we can overcome pain and transcend into knowledge
That each of us can become a Wounded Healer
Here's a link to a short film on youtube that explores this concept and explains the symbology and ancient belief system behind it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orxEawi9qro
As for the dark night of the soul then you need to look no further than this wonderful explanation by the visionary teacher Eckhart Tolle.
Q: Have you ever experienced the dark night of the soul? Your teachings have been so helpful through this difficult period. Can you address this subject?
A: The “dark night of the soul” is a term that goes back a long time. Yes, I have also experienced it. It is a term used to describe what one could call a collapse of a perceived meaning in life…an eruption into your life of a deep sense of meaninglessness. The inner state in some cases is very close to what is conventionally called depression. Nothing makes sense anymore, there’s no purpose to anything. Sometimes it’s triggered by some external event, some disaster perhaps, on an external level. The death of someone close to you could trigger it, especially premature death, for example if your child dies. Or you had built up your life, and given it meaning – and the meaning that you had given your life, your activities, your achievements, where you are going, what is considered important, and the meaning that you had given your life for some reason collapses.
It can happen if something happens that you can’t explain away anymore, some disaster which seems to invalidate the meaning that your life had before. Really what has collapsed then is the whole conceptual framework for your life, the meaning that your mind had given it. So that results in a dark place. But people have gone into that, and then there is the possibility that you emerge out of that into a transformed state of consciousness. Life has meaning again, but it’s no longer a conceptual meaning that you can necessarily explain. Quite often it’s from there that people awaken out of their conceptual sense of reality, which has collapsed.
They awaken into something deeper, which is no longer based on concepts in your mind. A deeper sense of purpose or connectedness with a greater life that is not dependent on explanations or anything conceptual any longer. It’s a kind of re-birth. The dark night of the soul is a kind of death that you die. What dies is the egoic sense of self. Of course, death is always painful, but nothing real has actually died there – only an illusory identity. Now it is probably the case that some people who’ve gone through this transformation realized that they had to go through that, in order to bring about a spiritual awakening. Often it is part of the awakening process, the death of the old self and the birth of the true self.
The first lesson in A Course in Miracles says “Nothing I see in this room means anything”, and you’re supposed to look around the room at whatever you happen to be looking at, and you say “this doesn’t mean anything”, “that doesn’t mean anything”. What is the purpose of a lesson like that? It’s a little bit like re-creating what can happen during the dark night of the soul. It’s the collapse of a mind-made meaning, conceptual meaning, of life… believing that you understand “what it’s all about”. With A Course in Miracles, it’s a voluntary relinquishment of the human mind-made meaning that is projected, and you go voluntary into saying “I don’t know what this means”, “this doesn’t mean anything”. You wipe the board clean. In the dark night of the soul it collapses.
You are meant to arrive at a place of conceptual meaninglessness. Or one could say a state of ignorance – where things lose the meaning that you had given them, which was all conditioned and cultural and so on. Then you can look upon the world without imposing a mind-made framework of meaning. It looks of course as if you no longer understand anything. That’s why it’s so scary when it happens to you, instead of you actually consciously embracing it. It can bring about the dark night of the soul – to go around the Universe without any longer interpreting it compulsively, as an innocent presence. You look upon events, people, and so on with a deep sense of aliveness. Your sense the aliveness through your own sense of aliveness, but you are not trying to fit your experience into a conceptual framework anymore.
Wednesday, 13 May 2015
More than just a pretty flower.........
Today's post is about the abundant woodland flower the Bluebell and the potential they have to heal and possibly cure cancer, TB and HIV. Here's some links to articles that explain it in more detail. Certainly is more than just a pretty flower of course all lots of drugs are derived from plants even the breast cancer drug Taxol is derived from the Yew tree. So its not that way out there to believe in the power of the wild flowers that surrounds us and in the ancient belief of healing with herbs, plants and spices.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/bluebells-the-natural-way-to-fight-aids-and-cancer-1138910.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/47711.stm
http://www.theguardian.com/uk/1999/sep/16/timradford
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/bluebells-the-natural-way-to-fight-aids-and-cancer-1138910.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/47711.stm
http://www.theguardian.com/uk/1999/sep/16/timradford
Saturday, 22 February 2014
The best news ever.....
Wanted to share my unbelievable amazing news with you all. Saw my onc today he told me that " the lung mets have disappeared" and my lungs are now clear. I sat there in total shock and can't believe how lucky I am, it appears that something is working at getting rid of the bad cells. All the drugs ie: hereceptin/tamoxifen, jucing, hemp oil (early days), the supplements and the weekly spiritual healing are all worth while, obviously we can't say exactly what it was that obliterated them but the important thing to remember is that something did work.
There was only one grey area and thats on my liver there is a mass there but they still cannot define exactly what it is it could be cancer that is stable or it could be fatty tissue, my onc is writing to the radiologist to ascertain what tests we can do to find out exactly what it is that shows up on the scans whatever it is has been static and non moving now for quite a long time and he wasn't overly worried about it although he did say we are going to keep an eye on it with 3 monthly scans.
As for the subcut herceptin I'm to have my first 2 lots in the hospital so thats all booked in and I've decided not to give up on my hospital just yet.
Apologies to you all for not coming on sooner and posting but up until yesterday I was on a huge downer and needed something positive to give me a boost, this is the best possible outcome I could of wanted. I feel like I can start my life all over again, I feel like I've been given a second chance. I am so utterly grateful to still be here.
Sending you all love and light
Sarah xxx
There was only one grey area and thats on my liver there is a mass there but they still cannot define exactly what it is it could be cancer that is stable or it could be fatty tissue, my onc is writing to the radiologist to ascertain what tests we can do to find out exactly what it is that shows up on the scans whatever it is has been static and non moving now for quite a long time and he wasn't overly worried about it although he did say we are going to keep an eye on it with 3 monthly scans.
As for the subcut herceptin I'm to have my first 2 lots in the hospital so thats all booked in and I've decided not to give up on my hospital just yet.
Apologies to you all for not coming on sooner and posting but up until yesterday I was on a huge downer and needed something positive to give me a boost, this is the best possible outcome I could of wanted. I feel like I can start my life all over again, I feel like I've been given a second chance. I am so utterly grateful to still be here.
Sending you all love and light
Sarah xxx
Monday, 30 December 2013
2014 here we come....
Really looking forward to 2014 got a lot that IS going to happen. My partner Lee is going away to do a training course in Rigging he hopes this will set him up for a brand new career, I'm pleased he is moving forward and is not as bothered as he once was about leaving me at home alone. Lee is 13 years younger than myself and as a young man needs to feed his life he is still very young at 33 and deserves a positive break. The course is in Feb so I will be home alone for 3 weeks whilst he is there, when he does qualify it will mean he will be going away to work on a regular basis for 3 weeks stint but then he will also get 3 weeks off, the pay is excellent for this type of work so it means that when he is at home we can go off on holiday and really start enjoying life, we've been through so much together we both deserve something good to happen.
Once Lee has qualified and has done one 3 week stint the pay is so good we will be able to afford to move house which would be amazing! We love where we live but its tainted with whats happened here, yes its by the sea on the south coast of devon, yes its a beautiful area BUT and its a big one its got its down side like we've been here for 9 years we hardly know anyone not for want of trying but because people in these back waters tend to stick together and don't let anyone else in this is exasperated when you get dx with advanced breast cancer people tend to avoid me like the plague! The flat is in a great location but it has no central heating (only an open fire) very old 1950's night storage heaters that don't work properly and cost a fortune also no other services. We are surrounded by trees in quite a large wood sometimes this can get me down as its so dark and I can go for weeks without seeing anyone other than my cats. Solitude is good for the soul but too much of anything is not a good thing.
We are looking to move back up to Somerset and in particular looking at Glastonbury and the surrounding villages, my family don't live that far from this area and I have a lot more friends up there for support its a no brainer really. When we left Somerset 9 years ago it was for a fresh start and too be nearer the coastline and countryside I realise now that I miss the countryside and landscape of Somerset and have an idea about setting up studio/shop in Glastonbury this would really be like a dream come true. So moving is definitely on the cards, as is a new life and lifestyle. I instinctively feel this is a very positive move.
Once Lee has qualified and has done one 3 week stint the pay is so good we will be able to afford to move house which would be amazing! We love where we live but its tainted with whats happened here, yes its by the sea on the south coast of devon, yes its a beautiful area BUT and its a big one its got its down side like we've been here for 9 years we hardly know anyone not for want of trying but because people in these back waters tend to stick together and don't let anyone else in this is exasperated when you get dx with advanced breast cancer people tend to avoid me like the plague! The flat is in a great location but it has no central heating (only an open fire) very old 1950's night storage heaters that don't work properly and cost a fortune also no other services. We are surrounded by trees in quite a large wood sometimes this can get me down as its so dark and I can go for weeks without seeing anyone other than my cats. Solitude is good for the soul but too much of anything is not a good thing.
We are looking to move back up to Somerset and in particular looking at Glastonbury and the surrounding villages, my family don't live that far from this area and I have a lot more friends up there for support its a no brainer really. When we left Somerset 9 years ago it was for a fresh start and too be nearer the coastline and countryside I realise now that I miss the countryside and landscape of Somerset and have an idea about setting up studio/shop in Glastonbury this would really be like a dream come true. So moving is definitely on the cards, as is a new life and lifestyle. I instinctively feel this is a very positive move.
I hope and pray that 2014 will be a much better year and that for once all of my dreams come true. (I believe if you write it down it somehow makes it official and is more likely to come true) Here's my wish list and what I am cosmically ordering for 2014:
1. to continue to get well and healthy and to heal myself of breast cancer
2. for Lee to have some success with his new chosen career path
3. to move house somewhere on the outskirts of Glastonbury to a small cottage with its own garden
4. to be a successful, happy artist (self supporting financially) with my own studio/shop in Glastonbury
5. to have a pet dog and as I'm not going to have children a small dog would be wonderful
6. to go on holiday to the Norwegian Fjords
Happy New Year everyone.
Love and light to you all
Sarah xxxx
Happy New Year everyone.
Love and light to you all
Sarah xxxx
Monday, 9 September 2013
CT scan and Beliefs and Prayers.......
Its been a year since my last CT scan so I was due for one, arrived at the hospital early on Sunday morning (they are so busy they need to keep the scanner working 24 hours a day) waited for half an hour and then was taken by a very tall chinese doctor with an umbrella out to a mobile unit (I've never had this procedure done in a mobile unit before) it was raining and in spite of the umbrella we still got very wet, then what seemed like an age before they finally got the needle in and that familiar taste of metal and the feeling of wanting to pee came over me the actual scan only takes 10 mins at the most but its all the other stuff that takes so long. By the time we got home I was feeling sick and headachy so took some codeine and later due to that not working a sumatriptan. Now its back to the waiting game and my follow up appointment on the 4th of October.
I've done quite a lot of research on all things cancer and what you can do to help yourself but I'm feeling a bit out on a limb at the moment so decided to give Penny Brohn Centre a call and book up on a free Living Well Course, the centre is in Bristol and basically I would like to find out if I'm doing the right things ie: juicing and not eating dairy or meat and to speak with someone whose a proper trained nutritionist find out if I'm lacking in anything would be good apart from all of that its free and you stay at the centre overnight which is a beautiful old building on the outskirts of the city, I feel the need to meet up with others who are on a similar journey and more importantly who are actively helping themselves to thrive and survive.
Its been really hard recently as 3 of the women from the chat group on FB have died two of which share the same name 'Sarah', I used to chat to both of these lovely ladies outside of the FB group and can't quite believe that they are gone, its knocked the wind out of me and I feel the need to distance myself further from all things breast cancer, I suppose what I'm saying is that trying to live with these constant deaths and upsets aren't really helping me stay positive. The women that have passed away I knew through the FB chat group and the BCC forum and as far as I know they didn't really try going down the holistic approach, I'm still juicing although not daily as I can't afford it, I do it 3 times a week and drink predominately green organic juice, also as far as I am aware I am the only one who goes to a spiritual healer and the bottom line is I'm the only one doing very well on this regime, obviously I do take Tamoxifen and have Herceptin but I also try all the alternatives when I can afford it and will actively follow the advice given by healers and practitioners. Some of the alternatives are free. I wish the others would give them a go, but you can't tell someone what to believe in, they have to find it for themselves. All I can do is pray for those still fighting and send some absent healing with love and light.
I've done quite a lot of research on all things cancer and what you can do to help yourself but I'm feeling a bit out on a limb at the moment so decided to give Penny Brohn Centre a call and book up on a free Living Well Course, the centre is in Bristol and basically I would like to find out if I'm doing the right things ie: juicing and not eating dairy or meat and to speak with someone whose a proper trained nutritionist find out if I'm lacking in anything would be good apart from all of that its free and you stay at the centre overnight which is a beautiful old building on the outskirts of the city, I feel the need to meet up with others who are on a similar journey and more importantly who are actively helping themselves to thrive and survive.
Its been really hard recently as 3 of the women from the chat group on FB have died two of which share the same name 'Sarah', I used to chat to both of these lovely ladies outside of the FB group and can't quite believe that they are gone, its knocked the wind out of me and I feel the need to distance myself further from all things breast cancer, I suppose what I'm saying is that trying to live with these constant deaths and upsets aren't really helping me stay positive. The women that have passed away I knew through the FB chat group and the BCC forum and as far as I know they didn't really try going down the holistic approach, I'm still juicing although not daily as I can't afford it, I do it 3 times a week and drink predominately green organic juice, also as far as I am aware I am the only one who goes to a spiritual healer and the bottom line is I'm the only one doing very well on this regime, obviously I do take Tamoxifen and have Herceptin but I also try all the alternatives when I can afford it and will actively follow the advice given by healers and practitioners. Some of the alternatives are free. I wish the others would give them a go, but you can't tell someone what to believe in, they have to find it for themselves. All I can do is pray for those still fighting and send some absent healing with love and light.
Friday, 5 July 2013
Where's your head at?
Ok so I think its about time I filled you in on where I'm at at this particular moment in time. Obviously I'm still receiving Herceptin and taking daily Tamoxifen, I haven't had a whole body CT scan for about 8 month's now and feel I've gradually slipped into my new life post Cancer. However, I'm not the same person I was before and have changed almost everything about myself and my life. I continue to eat healthy and avoid red meat (I only eat free range chicken once a month) other than that I eat fish, eggs and pro-biotic organic yoghurt. I try to juice at least 3 times a week (I was doing this daily for just over 2 years) I've cut it down as I've started to feel better and believe juicing 3 times a week is sufficient in keeping my body both alkaline and healthy. I continue to go for healing at least once a week this is very necessary and life re-affirming, I can't live without it. I try to meditate daily or at the very least weekly and I attend a weekly meditation group where we concentrate on healing. Yoga has become a weekly practice which also helps with the meditation. Another massive plus is I've started painting again and I feel ok about it. I'm in the middle of painting a couple of new collections and finished off old paintings this has proved to be quite cathartic and has brought me a new lease of life.
Occasionally I slip into my old mind set but I do recognise that this is not healthy and more importantly I am aware of it and try to nip it in the bud before it takes hold of me. Negative thought patterns are not tolerated anymore. This is easier said than done of course as the mind is a powerful manipulator, it also doesn't help when other people pass away or deteriorate with this disease, I can't help getting upset when someone passes even though I know they are going 'home' back to their natural spiritual state. I try to remind myself that this reaction to someones passing is natural and needs to be embraced worked through and ultimately let go of.
In answer to the title of this post my head is in a good place at the moment, I am positive and I've started to plan for the future something I never thought I'd be able to do especially on the work front. I've decided that I want to become a further education teacher possibly teaching foundation in art at a college as well as finishing my current paintings is my goal at the moment, myself and my partner have other plans but I'm going to try and stay focused on my current projects.
Occasionally I slip into my old mind set but I do recognise that this is not healthy and more importantly I am aware of it and try to nip it in the bud before it takes hold of me. Negative thought patterns are not tolerated anymore. This is easier said than done of course as the mind is a powerful manipulator, it also doesn't help when other people pass away or deteriorate with this disease, I can't help getting upset when someone passes even though I know they are going 'home' back to their natural spiritual state. I try to remind myself that this reaction to someones passing is natural and needs to be embraced worked through and ultimately let go of.
In answer to the title of this post my head is in a good place at the moment, I am positive and I've started to plan for the future something I never thought I'd be able to do especially on the work front. I've decided that I want to become a further education teacher possibly teaching foundation in art at a college as well as finishing my current paintings is my goal at the moment, myself and my partner have other plans but I'm going to try and stay focused on my current projects.
Thursday, 4 July 2013
Causes of Cancer environmental or emotional..........
The blog Spiritual-light-on-Cancer asks the question Causes of Cancer: Environmental or Emotional? Fiona asks questions through a spiritual medium and receives answers from her Guides, this particular post looks at the causes of cancer asking is it environmental or emotional? this is an excellent question and totally unique response.
FIONA: I am thinking about the causes of cancer. Some say it is caused by toxic emotions; others that it is caused by environment toxins. Can you shed any light on this? GUIDES: Yes. We take you back to what we initially said on this subject. Cancer is one of the ways the body will choose as a means to exit life. When you are looking to exit life the body will begin to accumulate matter in the body as the system becomes sluggish towards life in general. Think about it. You move less when you are unhappy and your thoughts become far more polluted in their nature. The mechanisms for exit can be physical in nature. But by the time they become physical in nature, such as the body has manifested a mass or masses, which can be diagnosed as cancer, there has been a great build up to this point. Although it seems to those of you diagnosed it has been overnight, there has been a build up towards this. Now all of you are right in thinking that it is a genetic issue, and that it is a mental issue, and that it is a toxic issue. The mechanism that causes the manifestation of disease in the individual is individual. But what must be noticed is the commonality with all of you that end up with a diagnosis of cancer, is that there has been an activation of the desire to exit life. For most of you this will have been on an unconscious, subconscious level. You will probably not have realised you are doing this so you must look to reclaim your joire de vivre. This is the most important message we can ever give you . You understand this, Fiona. This becomes difficult for you when you see it manifesting in other ways in other people. You have been to the point where you are considering your own mortality and you know how it feels. You know how it feels to try and get a sense of self and a sense of living back. It is hard. It is much easier to become more full of life without a diagnosis of cancer than it is with one. However, should you wish to remain healthy and you have the strength to do so, engage with life. How do you do this? This is individual to each of you. It will be important that all of you think about what you need to do for your healing. If your body has a level of toxicity or pollutants in it, then cleanse it. But do this lovingly- not aggressively- for cleansing the body aggressively simply adds more of the wrong input into the system. What do we mean? It is simply another thing about how bad my life is. We would rather you ate a chocolate bar at this point, if that is what would make you happier. All of you who are willing to do so, please take a look at the contents of your thoughts. You are not taught to think about your thoughts. You are not taught that you are a creator of your thoughts. Instead you are left with a mind that talks and many of you for want of a better word or phrase aren’t aware of the direction you are driving yourself. So when you come to a stop such as a diagnosis of cancer, and you do not wish for your life to end, it is time to turn around.
Taken from the excellent blog http://spiritual-light-on-cancer.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/causes-of-cancer-enviromental-or.html
Taken from the excellent blog http://spiritual-light-on-cancer.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/causes-of-cancer-enviromental-or.html
Incredible story.......
Follow this link to a story about a young woman with breast cancer that healed herself via faith and juicing enjoy http://www.chrisbeatcancer.com/ashlies-breast-cancer-miracle/
Thursday, 17 January 2013
Healing, healers and energy workers...
Last year I chanced upon a brilliant blog called 'Spiritual Light on Cancer' the lady Fiona that runs the blog is based in england but receives absent healing from a healer called Zoe based in Australia, Zoe can also channel spirits and asks her guides questions to which Fiona posts the responses. I asked a question about healing, physic surgeons etc and Fiona has kindly posted the response here's the link its a fascinating read. http://spiritual-light-on-cancer.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/21-can-energy-healing-help-to-cure.html#comment-form. Here's what I've posted as a response in the comments section.
Hi Fiona, Wanted to say thank you for asking the question and for posting this article it is truly fascinating, I have been going to a healer ever since I was dx with SBC (secondary breast cancer) and feel this has played an important part in my continued stable status, I believe in healing BUT I also believe that we have to do everything we can within our power to survive especially if you have cancer so doing all the conventional treatments like chemo/surgery/rads was always going to be part of my plan in addition to these treatments I also have tried a variety of complementary treatments like acupuncture, reflexology, organic juicing, supplements more recently yoga and I've booked an appointment with a lady that specialises in kinesiology to assess whether or not I need to take any additional supplements or add anything to my diet all of this including my weekly visits to a healer are I believe hugely important to my continued well being and stable status, I am living with breast cancer and doing everything within my power to fight it and survive. Whilst I am receiving the healing I meditate on healing myself and every time I drink one of my fresh green veg juices I feel the cells in my body power up. Thanks again for such a fascinating article and Happy New Year to you. Sending you and your healers/guides lots of love and light sarah xxxx
Hi Fiona, Wanted to say thank you for asking the question and for posting this article it is truly fascinating, I have been going to a healer ever since I was dx with SBC (secondary breast cancer) and feel this has played an important part in my continued stable status, I believe in healing BUT I also believe that we have to do everything we can within our power to survive especially if you have cancer so doing all the conventional treatments like chemo/surgery/rads was always going to be part of my plan in addition to these treatments I also have tried a variety of complementary treatments like acupuncture, reflexology, organic juicing, supplements more recently yoga and I've booked an appointment with a lady that specialises in kinesiology to assess whether or not I need to take any additional supplements or add anything to my diet all of this including my weekly visits to a healer are I believe hugely important to my continued well being and stable status, I am living with breast cancer and doing everything within my power to fight it and survive. Whilst I am receiving the healing I meditate on healing myself and every time I drink one of my fresh green veg juices I feel the cells in my body power up. Thanks again for such a fascinating article and Happy New Year to you. Sending you and your healers/guides lots of love and light sarah xxxx
Friday, 11 January 2013
Kundalini Yoga.....Breathe in......Breathe out.......
"Go inside and listen to your inner voice. Every question has an answer. Your soul is full of wisdom and knows the way" Yogi Bhajan (1929 - 2004)
I've started yoga and so far so good, Kundalini Yoga teaches you the art of relaxation and self-healing with mental elevation, it balances the body and mind and enables you to experience clarity. Using Pranayama (breathing) as a means to focus the mind and turn off the internal chatter, Kundalini is not a religion and is practiced for it health benefits by different people of all faiths. This is a gentle form of yoga and I didn't feel that I had overly exerted myself just gently toned and focused my mind. Afterwards I could feel I had done some exercise but was feeling so invigorated that I went out for a walk with my neighbour and her dogs and managed to go the full 5 miles (admittedly with a lot of breaks) but I still just about managed it and again feel amazing and full of vitality.
I've booked up for 5 more sessions of yoga and will keep everyone informed of my progress.
Five Sutras for the Aquarian Age
1. Recognize that the other person is you
2. There is a way through every block
3. When the time is upon you, start and the pressure will be off
4. Understand through compassion or you will misunderstand the times
5. Vibrate the cosmos, the cosmos shall clear the path
I've started yoga and so far so good, Kundalini Yoga teaches you the art of relaxation and self-healing with mental elevation, it balances the body and mind and enables you to experience clarity. Using Pranayama (breathing) as a means to focus the mind and turn off the internal chatter, Kundalini is not a religion and is practiced for it health benefits by different people of all faiths. This is a gentle form of yoga and I didn't feel that I had overly exerted myself just gently toned and focused my mind. Afterwards I could feel I had done some exercise but was feeling so invigorated that I went out for a walk with my neighbour and her dogs and managed to go the full 5 miles (admittedly with a lot of breaks) but I still just about managed it and again feel amazing and full of vitality.
I've booked up for 5 more sessions of yoga and will keep everyone informed of my progress.
Five Sutras for the Aquarian Age
1. Recognize that the other person is you
2. There is a way through every block
3. When the time is upon you, start and the pressure will be off
4. Understand through compassion or you will misunderstand the times
5. Vibrate the cosmos, the cosmos shall clear the path
Saturday, 6 October 2012
Reiki the KLF and a blinding sunset!
To bring you all up to date I have been away for a few days visiting my parents and friends so have been neglecting my blog but I'm back and have a fair bit to write about.
Firstly, the dreaded appointment with the fabulous Dr D. (my breast surgeon), waited for what seemed like an eternity and in a very packed waiting room, when I did get to go in I had a very quick examination to which he seemed pleased, then off to have a mamo (this I was not expecting) but all went ok and it didn't hurt as much as the first one I had done, also the mamo nurse was very nice and chatted away to me showing me my previous mamo (the one that showed the cancerous lump) this was the first time I had seen the image and was a little anxious on seeing it but then after chatting realised that I have nothing to be anxious about the lump and breast has gone, and there is no cancer anywhere else, my good breast mamo showed nothing sinister but I have too wait for the official results in a couple of weeks time, but I'm not particularly worried and feel it will be ok. Whilst chatting to the nurse she mentioned that Dr D. was exceptionally busy at the moment and had too see 36 women that day!!!! 36 women!!! thats quite shocking, what the hell is going on? I am at a loss for words, I believe that something is terribly wrong that just seems like such a lot of women affected by this awful disease. Due to his work load Dr D. mentioned that he wants me to book an appointment when he's not so busy so that we can discuss the possibility of reconstruction surgery I will keep you posted on that one.
Anyone who reads my blog regularly knows that I am a spiritual being and have tried a number of complementary treatments including spiritual healing, so my main purpose for visiting my parents was to also go and receive Reiki treatment from a wonderful lady by the name of Jan here's a link to her website http://www.jmreiki.co.uk/ where it explains in detail what Reiki is all about. My session was very similar to the other spiritual healers I have visited except Jan was also able to give me information on the spirits that are either guides or are around me with messages of hope and advice. I have a spirit Dr around me who wears a monocle eye piece, she was not sure whether he was a deceased relative or whether he had attached himself to me, personally I feel he is attached to me via our flat which is a very old listed building and used to be part of a huge estate (similar to that of Downton Abbey). He has been administering 'old medicine' to me and has taken me on as a patient, I am very very glad he is around me and feel honoured and lucky to be receiving his help. Whilst giving me healing Jan told me that I had 'spiritual surgery' during our session in which the surgeon removed some more of my lymph nodes, again this does not frighten or upset me in fact to the contrary I am ever so grateful that they have performed this operation on me especially as they believed it would help. She also indicated that in a past life I was a herbalist/healer which explains why I am so drawn to the old country medicines and remedies, she also told me that it was not my time to go yet and that I had a lot more work to do on the planet. This news has given me such a boost.
I spent the day with my mum and dad and the following day visiting a very close friend all of which has helped pull me out of the misery and depression I was feeling in my last post, I am glad to report I am back to my old self and feel a burst of creative energy fizzling up inside me and I'm looking forward to getting things going on the project front. My brilliant friend gave me a load of music CD's one of which was by the KLF its taken me back to my youth and given me a warm fuzzy feeling of comfort inside, thanks and love to P.
Here's a list of all the things I want to try and achieve over the coming winter months:
1. Start writing a book based on this blog and Breast Cancer
2. Get on with some needle felting/sculpting
3. Paint and enter an open art competition (thats coming up this month)
4. Finish my collection of Gypsy designs
5. Re-decorate the lounge
Driving home tonight we stopped in at Glastonbury and filled up our water bottles with the mineral rich healing waters of the Chalice Well, the sunset by the Tor was absolutely breath taking.
Love and light xxxx
Firstly, the dreaded appointment with the fabulous Dr D. (my breast surgeon), waited for what seemed like an eternity and in a very packed waiting room, when I did get to go in I had a very quick examination to which he seemed pleased, then off to have a mamo (this I was not expecting) but all went ok and it didn't hurt as much as the first one I had done, also the mamo nurse was very nice and chatted away to me showing me my previous mamo (the one that showed the cancerous lump) this was the first time I had seen the image and was a little anxious on seeing it but then after chatting realised that I have nothing to be anxious about the lump and breast has gone, and there is no cancer anywhere else, my good breast mamo showed nothing sinister but I have too wait for the official results in a couple of weeks time, but I'm not particularly worried and feel it will be ok. Whilst chatting to the nurse she mentioned that Dr D. was exceptionally busy at the moment and had too see 36 women that day!!!! 36 women!!! thats quite shocking, what the hell is going on? I am at a loss for words, I believe that something is terribly wrong that just seems like such a lot of women affected by this awful disease. Due to his work load Dr D. mentioned that he wants me to book an appointment when he's not so busy so that we can discuss the possibility of reconstruction surgery I will keep you posted on that one.
Anyone who reads my blog regularly knows that I am a spiritual being and have tried a number of complementary treatments including spiritual healing, so my main purpose for visiting my parents was to also go and receive Reiki treatment from a wonderful lady by the name of Jan here's a link to her website http://www.jmreiki.co.uk/ where it explains in detail what Reiki is all about. My session was very similar to the other spiritual healers I have visited except Jan was also able to give me information on the spirits that are either guides or are around me with messages of hope and advice. I have a spirit Dr around me who wears a monocle eye piece, she was not sure whether he was a deceased relative or whether he had attached himself to me, personally I feel he is attached to me via our flat which is a very old listed building and used to be part of a huge estate (similar to that of Downton Abbey). He has been administering 'old medicine' to me and has taken me on as a patient, I am very very glad he is around me and feel honoured and lucky to be receiving his help. Whilst giving me healing Jan told me that I had 'spiritual surgery' during our session in which the surgeon removed some more of my lymph nodes, again this does not frighten or upset me in fact to the contrary I am ever so grateful that they have performed this operation on me especially as they believed it would help. She also indicated that in a past life I was a herbalist/healer which explains why I am so drawn to the old country medicines and remedies, she also told me that it was not my time to go yet and that I had a lot more work to do on the planet. This news has given me such a boost.
I spent the day with my mum and dad and the following day visiting a very close friend all of which has helped pull me out of the misery and depression I was feeling in my last post, I am glad to report I am back to my old self and feel a burst of creative energy fizzling up inside me and I'm looking forward to getting things going on the project front. My brilliant friend gave me a load of music CD's one of which was by the KLF its taken me back to my youth and given me a warm fuzzy feeling of comfort inside, thanks and love to P.
Here's a list of all the things I want to try and achieve over the coming winter months:
1. Start writing a book based on this blog and Breast Cancer
2. Get on with some needle felting/sculpting
3. Paint and enter an open art competition (thats coming up this month)
4. Finish my collection of Gypsy designs
5. Re-decorate the lounge
Driving home tonight we stopped in at Glastonbury and filled up our water bottles with the mineral rich healing waters of the Chalice Well, the sunset by the Tor was absolutely breath taking.
Love and light xxxx
Saturday, 25 August 2012
Chalice Well Event
I've mentioned in the past my love of Somerset in particular Glastonbury I have been reliably informed that on bank holiday monday the Chalice Well, in Glastonbury will be holding a day of healing and as I've just run out of Red Spring water I think a visit is in order here's the link http://www.chalicewell.org.uk/index.cfm/glastonbury/Events.Details/event_id/159
Hope you all have lovely bank holiday.xx
Hope you all have lovely bank holiday.xx
Monday, 9 July 2012
Cartenoids stop reocurrence
There are over 600 different carotenoids, for example:
Alpha-Carotene - found in carrots, coriander and green beans
Beta-Carotene - found in apricots, cantaloupe melon and broccoli
Beta-Cryptoxanthin - found in persimmon (Sharon fruit), papaya and tangerines
Capsaicin - found in chilli, sweet red bell and jalapeno peppers
Lycopene - found in tomatoes, guava and watermelon
Lutein - found in turnip, kale and spinach
Zeaxanthin - a strong yellow pigment found in fruits and vegetables
Many have been found to inhibit cancer development but this inhibition is reversible, meaning that stopping a diet rich in carotenoids may allow the cancer to grow again.
There’s a great deal of research into the effects of carotenoids. One way that carotenoids inhibit cancer growth is related to their ability to improve intercellular ‘communication’ by increasing the production of a protein (connexion 43, C43) which sits between cells. Cancer cells lack the C43 protein, which means they also lack a vital growth control system. A diet rich in carotenoids can help return the situation to normal, especially when combined with selenium – a constituent mineral of C43 found in brown rice, fish and Brazil nuts.
Two studies, one from Albert Einstein College of Medicine, New York and the other from Harvard in 2009 showed that eating colourful red, yellow and orange vegetables not only reduced the risk of developing breast cancer, but helped prevent it returning. In both cases the groups eating the carotenoids almost halved their risk. (International Journal of Cancer, 2009 Jun 15; 124(12):2929-37. Cancer Epidemiology; Biomarkers and Prevention. 2009 Feb; 18(2):486-94).
Shhwartz and Shklar at Harvard University studied the ability of carotenoids to inhibit tumour growth in breast, lung, oral and skin tissue. They found a positive response to treatment within 1 to 5 hours.
Stahelin and colleagues from the University of Basel researched the role of a number of antioxidants, including carotene in 3000 men over a period of 15 years. They found that there was an increase in cancers of the stomach and bronchus in subjects with low plasma levels of carotene.
Another example from research concerns vitamin A, mainly created in the body from carotenoids consumed. Known to drive many cancers from breast, to colon, to prostate and even some brain tumours, oestrogen causes its damage by binding to cellular receptor sites. Scientists at the University of Chicago have shown that a metabolite of vitamin A (retenoic acid) can compete with and block this damaging action. Whereas oestrogen causes random and rapid cell growth to occur, the vitamin A was found to ´normalise proceedings´.
Alpha-Carotene - found in carrots, coriander and green beans
Beta-Carotene - found in apricots, cantaloupe melon and broccoli
Beta-Cryptoxanthin - found in persimmon (Sharon fruit), papaya and tangerines
Capsaicin - found in chilli, sweet red bell and jalapeno peppers
Lycopene - found in tomatoes, guava and watermelon
Lutein - found in turnip, kale and spinach
Zeaxanthin - a strong yellow pigment found in fruits and vegetables
Many have been found to inhibit cancer development but this inhibition is reversible, meaning that stopping a diet rich in carotenoids may allow the cancer to grow again.
There’s a great deal of research into the effects of carotenoids. One way that carotenoids inhibit cancer growth is related to their ability to improve intercellular ‘communication’ by increasing the production of a protein (connexion 43, C43) which sits between cells. Cancer cells lack the C43 protein, which means they also lack a vital growth control system. A diet rich in carotenoids can help return the situation to normal, especially when combined with selenium – a constituent mineral of C43 found in brown rice, fish and Brazil nuts.
Two studies, one from Albert Einstein College of Medicine, New York and the other from Harvard in 2009 showed that eating colourful red, yellow and orange vegetables not only reduced the risk of developing breast cancer, but helped prevent it returning. In both cases the groups eating the carotenoids almost halved their risk. (International Journal of Cancer, 2009 Jun 15; 124(12):2929-37. Cancer Epidemiology; Biomarkers and Prevention. 2009 Feb; 18(2):486-94).
Shhwartz and Shklar at Harvard University studied the ability of carotenoids to inhibit tumour growth in breast, lung, oral and skin tissue. They found a positive response to treatment within 1 to 5 hours.
Stahelin and colleagues from the University of Basel researched the role of a number of antioxidants, including carotene in 3000 men over a period of 15 years. They found that there was an increase in cancers of the stomach and bronchus in subjects with low plasma levels of carotene.
Another example from research concerns vitamin A, mainly created in the body from carotenoids consumed. Known to drive many cancers from breast, to colon, to prostate and even some brain tumours, oestrogen causes its damage by binding to cellular receptor sites. Scientists at the University of Chicago have shown that a metabolite of vitamin A (retenoic acid) can compete with and block this damaging action. Whereas oestrogen causes random and rapid cell growth to occur, the vitamin A was found to ´normalise proceedings´.
Taken from Chris Woollams Newsletter July 2012
Saturday, 7 July 2012
Complementary..
Whilst out and about in Totnes the other day I came across a sign outside of Neals Yard "20% off all treatments if booked throughout July" so went in and booked an appointment for acupuncture, I have been recommended this too help with the hot flushes as well as a host of other side effects from the drugs I'm on, I am sooooo excited, I know it sounds ridiculous but I am really looking forward to this, I haven't had any complimentary treatments for quite some time the only one I do regularly is spiritual healing which to be fair is generally hands off, so can't wait to try something new, also thinking about trying some reflexology as a general calm down and relax therapy, will keep you all informed how I get on.
Looking outside of the window today and again the sun is hidden behind a thick blanket of mist and rain :0( WHERE IS OUR SUMMER!!!! It has at the very least afforded me time to sort out selling my old Mac powerbook and I'm thinking of doing some proper baking today, try and fill the freezer up with some goodies.
Love to all
sarahxx
Looking outside of the window today and again the sun is hidden behind a thick blanket of mist and rain :0( WHERE IS OUR SUMMER!!!! It has at the very least afforded me time to sort out selling my old Mac powerbook and I'm thinking of doing some proper baking today, try and fill the freezer up with some goodies.
Love to all
sarahxx
Sunday, 15 January 2012
The Early bird and spiritual enlightenment
Sat at my comupter at 7.30am on a sunday morning (thankyou tamoxifen for the hot flush that woke me up!) listening to a Song Thrush singing its heart out, what a fabulous way to start the day, the sounds are so beautiful I have often listened to this bird song and feel uplifted, inspired and have always found comfort in the knowledge that most are still sleeping, I always used to start painting at this time of day and sometimes through the night, they say we are closer to god at these times the twilight is a special time of day for me.
Couple of days ago after receiving radiotherapy we decided to drive up onto the Moors on our way back down we stopped off at Buckfast Abbey where an order of Benedictine Monks reside it has the usual gift shops and restaurant but this time we also went into the Abbey, the place was so amazing the stained glass windows (all made by the monks) were totally awe inspiring, whilst walking around I was overcome with very strong emotion (this is not the first time in a place of worship) I was sort of happy but moved to tears and was battling hard to contain them, I lit a candle and said a prayer with tears running down my face, this I could not understand I am not particularly religious certainly not Roman Catholic BUT I could feel something there, when I got home I tried to make sense of this but just could not work it out, was it self pity No, was it fear No, what was this?? I approached a fellow breast cancer sufferer who just happens to be a Vicar and asked why? She pointed out that back in the Celtic Pagan religion some of which has been adopted by the christian faith that the pagans had places called 'Thin Places' (google this if you are interested) called thin because they believed that you were closer to god in such places and that the veil between life and the afterlife was thinner in certain places, it was suggested to me that perhaps I might be a sensitive (definite trait of mine being an artist) and therefore going into these places of worship I could of stumbled upon a so called 'Thin Place' I instinctively knew this too be correct and when I thought about it other religious places like Glastonbury and the Tor also the river Dart have moved me to tears again the same sort of feelings accompanied this experience, and so the penny dropped and I managed to understand these complicated and sometimes frustrating emotions.
Whilst at the Abbey a strange coincidence occurred I have always wanted to go to Lourdes in France even before I got breast cancer this was a yearning of mine, on a notice board at the Abbey an advert for a pilgrimage to Lourdes in June this year it costs quite a lot £700 pounds but includes flight and accommodation, needless to say I've taken the email address and phone number, hopefully this will come true and I will go to Lourdes, who knows I could be healed by the special waters there.
Love and light xxx
Couple of days ago after receiving radiotherapy we decided to drive up onto the Moors on our way back down we stopped off at Buckfast Abbey where an order of Benedictine Monks reside it has the usual gift shops and restaurant but this time we also went into the Abbey, the place was so amazing the stained glass windows (all made by the monks) were totally awe inspiring, whilst walking around I was overcome with very strong emotion (this is not the first time in a place of worship) I was sort of happy but moved to tears and was battling hard to contain them, I lit a candle and said a prayer with tears running down my face, this I could not understand I am not particularly religious certainly not Roman Catholic BUT I could feel something there, when I got home I tried to make sense of this but just could not work it out, was it self pity No, was it fear No, what was this?? I approached a fellow breast cancer sufferer who just happens to be a Vicar and asked why? She pointed out that back in the Celtic Pagan religion some of which has been adopted by the christian faith that the pagans had places called 'Thin Places' (google this if you are interested) called thin because they believed that you were closer to god in such places and that the veil between life and the afterlife was thinner in certain places, it was suggested to me that perhaps I might be a sensitive (definite trait of mine being an artist) and therefore going into these places of worship I could of stumbled upon a so called 'Thin Place' I instinctively knew this too be correct and when I thought about it other religious places like Glastonbury and the Tor also the river Dart have moved me to tears again the same sort of feelings accompanied this experience, and so the penny dropped and I managed to understand these complicated and sometimes frustrating emotions.
Whilst at the Abbey a strange coincidence occurred I have always wanted to go to Lourdes in France even before I got breast cancer this was a yearning of mine, on a notice board at the Abbey an advert for a pilgrimage to Lourdes in June this year it costs quite a lot £700 pounds but includes flight and accommodation, needless to say I've taken the email address and phone number, hopefully this will come true and I will go to Lourdes, who knows I could be healed by the special waters there.
Love and light xxx
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