Heart warming, dismal September.... "because life's not a fairytale"

September has to be the best month this year so far of course May was pretty amazeballs as well due to the exhibition. From the start to the end of this month I've been blessed. Surrounded by exciting visitors, then going on holiday visiting Weston and the Banksy exhibit then on to Center Parc's which was absolutely fabulous.

Banksy is the best. The exhibition is fabulous at bringing to attention the sicko society that we are all a part of.. Sarcasm rules at this non- fun park with stupid people buying balloons that said "I am an imbecile" WTF! I mean they actually paid good money for that balloon and paraded it around like it was a trophy!!!! Most of the exhibits address pressing social issues like the immigrant crisis where model remote control boats full of immigrants are forever going round and round not being able to stop anywhere. The most poignant for me was the fairy tale castle as you walk inside you are asked by the stroppy attendants "do you want a photo?" as I am not into having my photo taken at all I refused but plenty of others queued up to have a snap as you walk into the castle you are thrown into pitch darkness the sound of a million cameras clicking in front of Cinderella's carriage which has crashed with Cinderella hanging out of it, I was told by the assistant to stand in a particular spot to take the photo's and realised just how utterly awful the scene was obviously it was pointing to Lady Diana's untimely end at the hands of the paparazzi for a minute or two I stood feeling like Lady Di might have been feeling it made me feel extremely emotional and at a loss as to why humanity has decided to treat certain people in this way literally loved to death, hounded by photographers. This is how we society treats our fairytale princess. On the way out of the castle the people who had had there photograph taken were asked to queue again to my horror there faces were superimposed onto that of the paparazzi taking the shots of the dead princess this sealed my earlier thoughts on this exhibit. My favourite was the image of Mickey Mouse with the words "because life's not a fairytale" this resonated with me on so many levels. I did kind of enjoy Dismaland some of it was funny like the grim reaper sat in a bumper car going round to the sound of "Staying Alive" by the Bee Gees and the stroppy assistants who kept up the misery from the moment we went in. Dismaland is not for the faint hearted but certainly strikes a chord.


7 old friends at Center Parc's we'd booked it ages ago to celebrate one of the girls 50th birthday not sure what to expect and thinking it was more suited to sporty types I went along with some trepidation how wrong can you be! It was bloody marvellous our wooden lodge was neatly nestled in a massive pine tree forest that in itself was awesome. The lodge was fantastic all bedrooms were really clean and smart with en-suite power showers we also had a games room including pool table and brand new Xbox , a sauna, outside table and chairs with a bar-b-que and shower. The weekend was spent lounging around in the lodge or swimming in the wonderful water park where the water was hot inside and outside open to 9pm at night so floating around in warm water watching the stars was the order of the day. Of course there are plenty of other activities however, we all decided that as middle aged woman we wouldn't be taking part other than to lift a latte or down a bit of choccy cake (diet was temporarily off over the weekend) just chatting with old friends who have known me both before and after cancer was therapeutic making me realise how lucky I am to have such great friends who care and comfort me even if they don't realise the effect they are having on me just by being there being normal and talking as if nothing was ever wrong was such a tonic. Occasionally over the weekend cancer did raise its ugly head mainly when I walked into the pool for a swim (more like a float lol) obviously a one breasted woman stands out and at times I was feeling like the only woman/man in there whose had this bastard of a disease others probably hide it whereas the prosthetic which is so very uncomfortable is not an option for me. The warm water did wonders for me once in the pool I looked just like very one else and could float about looking up at the stars in a flood lit pool surrounded by good friends and fairy lights. Center Parc's is not cheap its kind of like the posher Butlins only much much better with no corny entertainment. Considering this is the first holiday since being dx I think I deserved to lounge around and feel great. Highly recommend this to anyone who needs quality time with people they love in different surroundings and the luxury of a first class stay.

Reached a milestone

 I've lost a whole stone and what a relief, feeling better already able to move around instead of waddle its definitely to do with the no carb diet but also been swimming in the sea now that I don't feel so out of breath with the weight I am able to move around and do exercise so all is good at the moment.

Also been back for my third session of counselling she feels the weight loss is the trigger for my lighter mood "ya don't say"!!!!! doesn't take a rocket scientist to work that out. Feeling a lot happier and healthier because I feel more like my old self and its not all to do with looks or being stick thin its how you move around its the breathing difficulties added to the fact that my natural body type is a thin size 8! It stands to reason a size 8 person made size 18 in a very short space of time is going to experience some form of discomfort isn't it?

Anyway booked an appointment to see her at the end of September to check I'm doing ok and will remember to ask her about the post traumatic stuff.