New Year, New Views, New Me........ well kind of

We are now in 2015 WOW didn't think I'd make this landmark its nearly 4 years since being dx with this shit and I am still thriving still living still here, amazing!!!!

So far the year started off with a very bad flu bug that needed anti-biotics to shift it and I've only just managed to get rid of it albeit I am left with an annoying cough. Life is back to some sort of normality although..... I am now getting nervous about the usual scans, results and cancer shit that just keeps going on and on...... urghhhhhhh

Feeling ok other than the flu bug and the cough, had a marvellous xmas with family really enjoyed it this year again I had a slight wobble on xmas day wondering will I still be here next year but thats what life is like when you live on a knifes edge this cancer thing is a constant monkey on your shoulder.

Life is returning to some kind of normality after the events of late last year what with the deaths and the scan worries. I've started to look forward to painting and exhibiting (big show on this year in May very excited).

Going to see GP at the end of this month to address all the horrible side effects that plague me which are:

1. Migraines
2. Joint pain
3. Sickness
4. Acid Reflux
5. Cough
6. High Blood Pressure (a recent development)
7. Abdominal swelling
8. Inward chills
9. Pain in affected shoulder and arm
10. Really bad foot skin peels off and nails drop off
11. Possible prolapsed womb (another recent development probably due to menopause and coughing)

So just a few pointers then lol. Thought I'd better go and address these problems so booked a double appointment, wish me luck. xxx

Life carries on......

It's been a little over a month since my best friends partner died suddenly, we've had the funeral and the awkward first visit afterwards helped by having a bonfire in his name. The emotional side of this has really hit me I can't stand that she has to endure this, she looks so lost and frail at the moment. I am trying all I can to help her carry on because thats what she has too do carry on. In a weird way I do understand exactly what she's going through although my own death was in the form of my old life pre cancer days, its hard but you have to pick yourself up you can't live a life engulfed by grief there has to be an end to the perpetual tears and what if's, its early days for my friend and I am living proof that you do and can get over what appears to be the insurmountable.

So moving forwards, here we are again another Xmas I am truly grateful to be seeing it even though I've had a quite a few nasty hospital experiences this year I am doing ok and starting to feel actually happy for the first time in such a long time, my view of the world has forever changed and although I've grown and moved forward I can honestly say that I've also picked up some virtues I didn't think I would ever accept as part of me. Since dx I don't suffer fools very easily, I tell people how I see it warts and all approach if they don't like it so bloody what! in the words of Cheryl "I don't care" and I really don't. This is not a bad thing as some might think its a mark of becoming strong and having the courage to face life head on not accepting any shit is important, I realise before I was a bit flaky and a doormat. Not anymore. Please don't miss understand me I am not a hard nut I am still compassionate, caring and loving but I don't take no shit not anymore.