Saturday 29 September 2012

Living in the moment.....

"Living in the moment" this phrase is something people have told me and vica versa, so what does it really mean to live in the moment, 10 point guide to living in the moment.

1. Own your time. 
Know that every moment you spend doing anything is a choice. All of the “have-tos” and the “musts do” are because you choose what doing them will bring. Time is the only resource we can’t renew. Invest it in experiences, places, and people that are meaningful to you.

2. Decide and define what you want your moments to be about. 
Are you a learner? an explorer? a teacher? a risk taker? a rodeo clown? When you look back in the last moment of your life what sort of moments will you cherish most? Decide now to make more of them.

3. Don’t wait for the right moment to be alive. 
Stop yourself several times a day to look at the sky, to experience the environment you’re in, to hear your own thoughts as they move through your mind. Don’t wait for the someday to try something new.

4. Spend time with people who truly live the moments of their lives. 
We slowly become what we look at most. If we hang with the best role models, we can learn the pros.

5. Minimise the number and effect of negative moments in your life. 
Let go of anger and pain. Carrying around memories of bad times gets in the way of what we might be experiencing now.

6. Don’t invest in fights that you don’t need to win
Who has time to argue about silly things? Meet with your friends in the places where you build things, not in the places where things get torn down.

7. Make positive moments. Negative thoughts build fences and defenses. Positive people attract positive people who are doing positive things.

8. Know when you’re getting swept into the current and losing sight of the moments of your life.
 It will be a need to speed up. Then it will be some sort of stress. Stop to reflect on who you are, where you are, what you value, and how you want to live your life. Stretch.

9. Think of every moment as a chance to see more of yourself. 
Take small risks that push your ideas and ideals. Living is growing. Expand every moment into memory of a life.

10. Curate and protect with bold intention
Let the people and places you care about know that part of living your life is dedicated to them.

Thursday 27 September 2012

The Swallows, Betty and the Surgeon....

As the title might suggest this is a some what melancholy post and I feel I have to warn you that I am particularly low at the moment. I'm not sure why could be to do with yet another of the wonderful ladies on the forum passing (see previous posts), or that quite a few ladies on the FB chat group are suffering and fighting hard, could be just to do with the time of year and the fact that I get very very sad when the swallows leave, it's the final curtain for summer (certainly cold enough!).

The other morning I counted around 50 swallows balancing on the wires, all very active and singing their hearts out it was like the last gathering before the big off. So I bid them farewell for this year and secretly wonder will I still be here to see them return! I think that's what is getting too me.

Tomorrow I see my breast surgeon Dr D., haven't seen him since my mx last year so I think this is just a routine check up appointment, but for some reason I couldn't stop thinking about it last night and ended up getting out of bed at 4 in the morning and reading my Betty Shine books which as it happens is not such a bad thing, Betty died back in 2002 but she was a phenomenal healer/medium/clairvoyant her daughter Janet Shine has produced a website http://www.zitaglio.com/bettyshine/ and channels her mother to provide absent healing, so I have written to her in the hope that she can send me some absent healing.

Its ridiculous but we've just been out blackberry picking and I caught myself crying whilst walking around, I quickly put my sunglasses on to try and hide my tears, and I know its stupid I honestly don't know what I am crying about, as far as all the cancer stuff I'm actually doing really well, I suppose its like a monkey stuck to my back its never far behind me and will always tug at the heart strings as I lament on my life before breast cancer and yearn to be care free and back to my old self. Thank god for this blog, I really needed to let that lot out.
Love and light to all
xxx

Sunday 23 September 2012

Bowen Technique

The latest complementary treatment I have been trying out is called the Bowen Technique, my lymph nurse referred me to a lovely lady called Val and so far I have had two sessions with her at the local hospice where she is based. I have been suffering with constipation probably as a direct result of all the drugs I am on after telling Val about this she tailored her treatment taking this into consideration and after the treatment was finished and later in the day lets just say the problem was resolved, I feel it was the Bowen that helped. Here's a link if your interested http://www.bowen-technique.co.uk/.

I have my yearly appointment with my breast surgeon on Thursday he may offer me a reconstruction I have discussed this with family and friends, but I'm still not sure whether or not to go down the road of more surgery, will keep you all informed how this goes.
Love and light to all xxxxx

Monday 17 September 2012

Light a candle, say a prayer...

It is with a heavy heart like a ton weight bearing down on me that I bring you the sad sad news about BCC forum poster Karen aka SCACO (staycalmandcarryon) who has passed away. I don't know the full details all I could find was comments on an 'in memory' thread on the forum, it would appear that she had developed secondaries, apparently whilst on holiday and was taken from us very very quickly. SCACO was a great friend to me when I was first dx she was always so positive and upbeat, she was a clever lady with a great sense of humour. Taken way too soon (I think she was late 30's). It seems that it was a very quick exit and I hope she did not suffer in pain for long.

SCACO is now the tenth woman I have become friends with over the past 18 months that has passed away from breast cancer. I hate this fucking disease its so warped and twisted there is no rhyme or reason to it. I pray every day that they find the cause for this absolute nightmare of a disease, at least then we might have a cure.

"God, it's so hard to stay positive when all around you is the utter chaos of cancer and its associated outcomes, please give me strength and courage to carry on and in the process to support and help others. Amen".

Saturday 15 September 2012

The lovely lymph nurse....

I suspected that the pain in my arm and trunk was more than normal mastectomy site mending itself pain and my oncologist referred me to a Lymphedema Nurse called Vikki. I felt a bit strange about going for this appointment because I was dreading the possible prospect of having to wear a compression sleeve and also the nurse is based in our local hospice. I have too say I was pleasantly surprised, the hospice was so calm and blissful a huge manor house converted, very friendly offering you tea and coffee in a comfortable waiting area with big armchairs, I don't really know what I was expecting to find but it certainly was not something as comforting as it proved to be and I no longer have 'the fear' as regards to a hospice.

As for lymphedema I do have it but very mild and early stages which is mainly in my trunk on the side, the pains I was experiencing turned out to be nothing to do with lymphedema but everything to do with my nerves knitting themselves back together (its been a year since my mastectomy). Vikki measured both of my arms and told me that my right arm (which is the affected limb) is 2% larger than my left, although my right arm is my dominant arm anyway so it would always be slightly larger, needless to say I am hugely relieved that all the exercises are paying off and keeping the dam lymphedema at bay.  We had a great chat and I found her to be so sympathetic and understanding.

During the consultation she said would I like to be referred to a Bowen Technique practitioner, I have heard of this complementary treatment and wanted to try it out anyway so was pleased to find that its free of charge on the NHS if your referred by your lymph nurse and a series of appointments have been made. My first appointment was on Friday and was very interesting, a series of light touch movements all over my body and it really did seem to work wonders, aligning and correcting my spine whilst attempting to deal with my side effects ie: migraines/hot flushes/neck and back pain. I will keep you all posted on how I progress with these treatments but I already feel something inside me has clicked and am looking forward to my next session which will be next week.

Friday 14 September 2012

The bigger picture.....

Yesterday was a complete wash out here, it just would not let up on the rain, we have enough now!!!! Unfortunately due to the weather and yet another migraine I was forced into a sofa and pj's day, instead of going over to Glastonbury as previously posted, so cant report on that at the moment although will be driving in the next couple of weeks to collect the Red Spring waters.

Since being dx with this disease I have been forced to look at the world through renewed eyes (no rose tinted specks for me!!!) this new way of being has led to some life altering special moments. These poignant reminders of our fragility those special moments that say loud and clear THINK ABOUT IT or TAKE NOTICE, are normally very few and far between in an ordinary life but to someone afflicted with a life threatening prognosis they can come thick and fast. My most recent 'moment' came whilst watching the BBC 2 Horizon programme http://www.bbc.co.uk/i/b01mgllj/ all about mapping the universe, yes thats right they are mapping the universe, crazy but true, now I'm no brain of britain so some of what they talk about goes over my head like blah blah and general babble, occasionally some of it actually seeps into the old grey matter and I have a eureka moment. Its hard to put into words exactly what I have realised but something has twigged inside and brings me enormous comfort, maybe its the imagery they use in the programme showing you how infinite the universe is, the size of it is just mind boggling, our planet looks like nothing more than a speck of dust in the whole scheme of things, or maybe its because when you actually think about it you are faced with life's ultimate questions, the meaning and purpose you cannot deny the existence of something else, something totally awesome you just can't contemplate it. People dress this up as religion or god and I never doubt that there is an existence beyond the one we are bound to live on this planet, I believe in spirit and soul, I cannot accept that when we die that is it, we witness miracles everyday and the wonder of nature constantly.

Wednesday 12 September 2012

A true miracle..

I came across this lady Anita Moorjani by accident and wanted to share her story, to me it represents a miracle and gives me inspiration and hope.  http://anitamoorjani.com/?page_id=159 and http://youtu.be/nV8L6UMjeaQ http://youtu.be/4jUmbGbRgGA

Taking a dip to activate it.....

So I was pondering why I was so consumed with the need to go for a dip in the sea, we've had a couple of days of sunny weather (finally) lol and I just had to get in the sea. The last time I went for a swim was over 2 year ago prior to my dx. Afterwards I felt a lot better my lymph affected arm was not as swollen, my skin felt amazing and I got a good exercise workout without straining anything (salt water really supports your body). Not being a strong swimmer I am always a bit afraid of going in for a swim in the sea also hate the cold but with the use of a wet suit I was able to stay in for over an hour! I was telling my spiritual healer about it and she reminded me that swimming in cold water or taking a cold shower can kick start the immune system, ah the penny dropped, maybe thats why I wanted to swim in the sea! As a cancer patient my immune system has failed me in not killing off the rogue cells, could be that it needs a good kick up the ass! She also informed me that she knew a couple of elderly ladies one of whom is 85 years old that either take a daily or weekly dip in the sea! The 85 year old swears that it's the one thing that has kept her healthy and helped with anti ageing. 

Four health benefits for cold water swimming.

Although the air temperatures may be up there in the first few weeks of summer, the lake takes a bit longer to heat up, making for those first few dips a bit frigid. Did you know there are actually health benefits to cold water swimming? Consider these four health benefits for cold water swimming to entice you into a pre-summer plunge:

1. Boosts your immune system: Drastic temperature changes to your body causes sudden shock; however scientists from the Czech Republic found this to be a good thing. The scientists immersed subjects in cold water for one hour, three times a week, and monitored their physiology. They found significant increases in white blood cell counts and several other factors relating to the immune system. This was attributed to the cold water being a mild stressor which activates the immune system and gives it some practice.

2. For an all-natural high: Endorphins are the body’s natural pain killers and, in the case of a cold dip, it uses them to take the sting away from your skin. So, to get high on your own supply, all you need to do is jump in the cold pond.

3. Burns calories: Swimming in cold water will make your body work twice as hard to keep you warm and burn more calories in the process.

4. Gets your blood pumping: Being hot brings blood to the surface. Being cold sends it to your organs. Both extremes work your heart like a pump which helps flush your circulation for starters, pushing blood through all your capillaries, veins and arteries. You could get these benefits by switching between the hot and cold taps in your shower, but that doesn’t sound nearly as fun as quick dip in East Lake followed by a warm wrapping afterwards.

Original source http://thenextchallenge.org/2010/02/cold-water-swimming/

So it would seem I need to get over being such a baby when it comes to the cold and kick start my immune system into working properly. Will keep you all posted on my progress. In the meantime here's some links that you might find interesting. 
Love and light to you all x