Its been quite a while since I posted on this blog and I have avoided posting anything about my dad to date but as he has now passed away I feel I can now write and tell you all what we (as a family have been going through).
3 years ago my lovely dad had a stroke initially it was thought we had caught it early and after a long time in hospital and medication he eventually came home then just over a year ago he had another stroke this time it was worse and he didn't come home instead he ended up in a nursing home being unable to eat, blind in one eye, unable to talk or have a conversation and incontinent, I was devastated and for the past year I've been busy going up and down to Somerset visiting, then in May this year I had a phone call from my brother telling me dad was in his last days. Myself and my brother watched my dad pass away a peaceful calm death at the age of 75 after struggling with the effects of strokes for the past 3 years. Its been a little over 4 weeks since he passed and the grief is all consuming, its in everything I do, I try and try to get on with things but I keep returning to dad. This is so so hard, I loved him so much, he was a quiet man but as my grandma said "a true gentleman". I miss his sparkling blue eyes, his calm serene nature and his unconditional love for all his family. Dealing with death of a loved one brings life into sharp focus again, just like it did when I was first dx, life continues but its never the same there is always going to be a dad shaped hole in my life.
