Here's a link to the Indian Swami (Ghru) Osho and his thoughts on Cancer
http://www.osho.com/library/online-library-meaningless-disappeared-cancer-9b41e05c-0ed.aspx
Tuesday 28 May 2013
Monday 27 May 2013
Regression Therapy..........
Just got back from a 2 hour appointment with a lovely lady called Sue Minns writer of the excellent book 'Bodies and Soul's.' The appointment was for Regression Therapy and I will detail what happened.
Arrived feeling a little apprehensive but positive about being there initially we discussed my problem(s) which I don't feel able to share with you quite yet but can confirm that she knew about my breast cancer and the shingles after about 3 quarters of an hour discussing she then invited me to pick cards from 2 decks which showed I was indeed at a crucial point on my journey through this life I picked a card that depicted a bridge meaning transitional cross roads then I picked a card that had books on it this was in direct relation to my creativity and I took this too mean writing after this I was asked to lie down on her couch and get comfortable I was taken through a lot of relaxation techniques and then guided by her into my own psyche and into my past lives or past of this life. I was surprised by what happened next when asked what do you see I could relay what I now know to be a village by the Ganges in India, I was an elderly lady of about 100! dressed in a midnight blue sari, my hands were withered and my bare feet were equally worn, I was surrounded by water containers and the magnificent Ganges River. The lady's name was Medina/medina/medena something of that nature and when asked what her life was like she said "hard"then I was propelled further to another significant point in Medina's life it was her death she was lying on her bed in a small mud hut construction not many people around her when asked how she felt she said "relief" and I get the impression that she was glad to go. Ironically for someone so spiritual I have never ever once wanted or felt the urge to go to India, I now know why!!!! I have been experiencing artist block and wanted to ask how I could remove the block and flow, Medina told me that all I had too do was ask for her help and she would be there that she was always there holding my hand and guiding me, she sent much love to me, by this time I was in tears running down my face but they were good tears, tears of relief. She also mentioned that creativity was like a magic spark. By now you might of guessed that Medina is not a separate entity she is part of me, she is me in a previous lifetime I have too tell you that whilst I was experiencing the reality that was Medina's life/body all my other sense's were heightened, I could smell the river and the dusty musty smell of a hot country with hints of exotic spice and incense wafting around it was as if I was actually there, utterly remarkable, I found the whole experience both cathartic and at the same time highly emotionally charged.
So what does all this say about me and my life now I hear you ask quite simply I need to embrace myself, nurture my creativity and ASK for help or guidance, reach out to the other side, if I do this then I feel that I'm finally going in the right direction. Others that showed up were my Grandmother Ellen my old cat Minnie and a raven called Caroq. I have noticed that a very large crow/raven shows up in my back garden everyday, he sits in the tree looking directly at me at first I thought this was a bad omen but it turns out that I was a witch in a previous lifetime and that bird and cat were my familiars if your interested in this then please follow this link that explains more http://wiccanmagick69.tripod.com/id15.html. The black fluffy cat Minnie has accompanied me through lots of different lives.
Love and light to you all
Sarah xxxx
Arrived feeling a little apprehensive but positive about being there initially we discussed my problem(s) which I don't feel able to share with you quite yet but can confirm that she knew about my breast cancer and the shingles after about 3 quarters of an hour discussing she then invited me to pick cards from 2 decks which showed I was indeed at a crucial point on my journey through this life I picked a card that depicted a bridge meaning transitional cross roads then I picked a card that had books on it this was in direct relation to my creativity and I took this too mean writing after this I was asked to lie down on her couch and get comfortable I was taken through a lot of relaxation techniques and then guided by her into my own psyche and into my past lives or past of this life. I was surprised by what happened next when asked what do you see I could relay what I now know to be a village by the Ganges in India, I was an elderly lady of about 100! dressed in a midnight blue sari, my hands were withered and my bare feet were equally worn, I was surrounded by water containers and the magnificent Ganges River. The lady's name was Medina/medina/medena something of that nature and when asked what her life was like she said "hard"then I was propelled further to another significant point in Medina's life it was her death she was lying on her bed in a small mud hut construction not many people around her when asked how she felt she said "relief" and I get the impression that she was glad to go. Ironically for someone so spiritual I have never ever once wanted or felt the urge to go to India, I now know why!!!! I have been experiencing artist block and wanted to ask how I could remove the block and flow, Medina told me that all I had too do was ask for her help and she would be there that she was always there holding my hand and guiding me, she sent much love to me, by this time I was in tears running down my face but they were good tears, tears of relief. She also mentioned that creativity was like a magic spark. By now you might of guessed that Medina is not a separate entity she is part of me, she is me in a previous lifetime I have too tell you that whilst I was experiencing the reality that was Medina's life/body all my other sense's were heightened, I could smell the river and the dusty musty smell of a hot country with hints of exotic spice and incense wafting around it was as if I was actually there, utterly remarkable, I found the whole experience both cathartic and at the same time highly emotionally charged.
So what does all this say about me and my life now I hear you ask quite simply I need to embrace myself, nurture my creativity and ASK for help or guidance, reach out to the other side, if I do this then I feel that I'm finally going in the right direction. Others that showed up were my Grandmother Ellen my old cat Minnie and a raven called Caroq. I have noticed that a very large crow/raven shows up in my back garden everyday, he sits in the tree looking directly at me at first I thought this was a bad omen but it turns out that I was a witch in a previous lifetime and that bird and cat were my familiars if your interested in this then please follow this link that explains more http://wiccanmagick69.tripod.com/id15.html. The black fluffy cat Minnie has accompanied me through lots of different lives.
Love and light to you all
Sarah xxxx
Thursday 23 May 2013
Moving, just keep moving.....
The title of this post is basically what I've been trying to do all day, moving just keep moving.....it helps....with the pain....shingles is utter shit but today I found doing some mantra shouting yoga got me out of my own hellish headspace and cleared the way for a some healing. Spent the day with my neighbours, went for 3 cups of green tea and a coffee all of which were great had some great conversations which took my mind off the shingle pain, so even though I've got this shit I managed to overcome it with some good company and moving about especially when you get shingle pain because its nerve pain. My partner has managed to gain some employment which is helping us out so much as we are still saving up to move and getting closer to it. He also has been offered an excellent job with prospects so things are finally looking up. As for me apart from the shingles I feel that emotionally I have reached a peak and am sort of understanding myself and my feelings a lot more with a little help from my friends. I'm going to see a regression therapist on Monday and hope that this might bring about some much needed guidance, looking to the past as therapy for the future. Guess thats it for now still hate the weight gain but nothing can be done about it, just have too try and accept the new me. xxxx
Monday 20 May 2013
Shingles Shit....
So now I've got Shingles and its quite bad unfortunately I thought I had been bitten by some nasty beastie but instead it turned out to be shingles and its all over my lefthand side torso and belly area, I've also woke up with a raging migraine and a stiff neck, all in all pretty fucking shit! When will this ever end!!! honestly I wonder, I juice organic green veg juice daily and drink about a pint of the stuff, then I take about 20 different supplements and I thought this was making my immune system stronger how wrong can you be! Apparently my immune system is on its arse!! Sometimes I wonder why I'm bothering with all this health stuff, why I don't just let nature take its course. Feel depressed and pissed off so went to the shop and bought a load of sweets including chocolate and biscuits also a loaf of white bread all the naughty stuff that I've given up thinking it would do me good. So I say two fingers up to that and bring on the yummy junk food, at least for now, I'm in desperate need of cheering up. x
p.s. apparently shingles can make you depressed oh the joy!!!
p.s. apparently shingles can make you depressed oh the joy!!!
Friday 17 May 2013
Sunshine, shopping and a walk.....
When the sun shines it changes every thing and lifts my soul. Today the sun did shine and I enjoyed a days shopping in Totnes followed by a decaf latte at my favourite garden centre topped off with a 2 hour walk, I struggled a bit got out of breath and was feeling a bit weak half way through which I take to mean fatigue but walked through it and got home to a camera full of inspiration (I take a lot of photos). Luckily I had my partner with me (I've been having some nasty falls) just in case I took a tumble my GP reckons its the beta blocker Atenalol that I'm taking for migraines he said my blood pressure might be dropping too much and this is causing a very quick and temporary black out!!! hence the reason why I've had 3 falls in 2 weeks!!! I really hurt myself last time and I was with a 70 year old!!! It was sort of amusing bit like the blind leading the blind but still a bit frightening especially as it was on a cliff path. I don't want to stop taking the Atenalol as it appears to be working and I haven't had a full on migraine now for the best part of 2 weeks which is a small miracle for me.
Next week is an appointment free week (don't get many of those) so I'm planning on doing some painting, it really is beautiful down here at the moment all the flowers are in bloom and the leaves are out on the trees, May and June are by far my favourite months in nature. All the colours are ultra bright and I feel super sensitive to all that nature is offering.
Love and light to all xxx
Next week is an appointment free week (don't get many of those) so I'm planning on doing some painting, it really is beautiful down here at the moment all the flowers are in bloom and the leaves are out on the trees, May and June are by far my favourite months in nature. All the colours are ultra bright and I feel super sensitive to all that nature is offering.
Love and light to all xxx
Sunday 12 May 2013
Osho wisdom with words.....
This paragraph from the Osho Zen Tarot pack resonates with me on so many levels the card I pulled was the New Vision Card " Now you are presented with an opportunity to see life in all its dimensions, from the depths to the heights. They exist together, and when we come to know from experience that the dark and the difficult are needed as much as the light and easy, then we begin to have a very different perspective on the world. By allowing all of life's colors to penetrate us, we become more integrated."
This has so much meaning and purpose for me and puts into words so eloquently what it is to fight cancer (the darkness) and survive (the light).
Here's a link to the online version of this wonderful Tarot card pack.
http://www.osho.com/Main.cfm?Area=Magazine&Sub1Menu=Tarot&Sub2Menu=OshoZenTarot&Language=English
This has so much meaning and purpose for me and puts into words so eloquently what it is to fight cancer (the darkness) and survive (the light).
Here's a link to the online version of this wonderful Tarot card pack.
http://www.osho.com/Main.cfm?Area=Magazine&Sub1Menu=Tarot&Sub2Menu=OshoZenTarot&Language=English
Saturday 11 May 2013
Discovery Helps Show How Breast Cancer Spreads
Article about a new discovery, ground breaking news Discovery Helps Show How Breast Cancer Spreads
Interesting Lymphedema approach....
Just a quickie to post a link to Polly Noble's page on how she cured her Lymphedema I also suffer with this most annoying of ailments caused by having my lymph nodes removed from my mastectomy site and under my arm its supposed to be an incurable condition and its sometimes painful here's the link to what she did to cure herself by the way I do practice nearly all of the things on her list anyway except for the coffee enema which I have been thinking of trying.
http://pollynoble.com/2013/02/the-10-things-i-did-to-heal-my-lymphedema/
http://pollynoble.com/2013/02/the-10-things-i-did-to-heal-my-lymphedema/
Friday 10 May 2013
Regression Therapy.....Counselling.......
Anyone who reads this blog frequently knows I'm a spiritual soul and a bit of a hippie at heart, I am presently reading a couple of books on the alternative Regression Therapy, from what I understand regression therapy is a kind of hypnosis taking you back to previous lives to see how those lives are affecting us in the here and now. The books I am reading are Dr Brian Weiss ' Miracles do Happen' and Sue Minns 'Bodies and Souls' the later of the two is fantastic especially if your not familiar with the spiritual side of things, she explains everything in a comprehensive easy to understand way, it makes sense to me. Luckily for me Sue lives and works from both Totnes down here in Devon and London, I've emailed her to enquire about being regressed and am pondering whether or not to go and see her, the main problem is money but she has offered to do my session at a reduced price which is very kind of her, don't get me wrong I'm not questioning how much she charges its just that I'm skint and money is an ongoing problem for me.
Plenty of people have said "why don't you go to the macmillan centre and get some free counselling?" reason why I can't go there is because one of the counsellors is my neighbour who incidentally lost her sister to breast cancer when I was initially dx, it feels really awkward with her and I accept is an unusual situation but I can't go to the macmillan centre because of this also her partner is her boss and another of the macmillan counsellors and although I don't know him I don't want to open up to him I'm sure they would discuss things. I could pay privately for counselling and have been recommended to people but again its very expensive. I feel the need of some help and I need to talk, it would seem now is the time for it. Regression therapy is very appealing to me as I see it as a kind of counselling as well as possibly getting to the bottom of some difficult questions with possible answers or at the very least some help.
I think I am going to give Regression Therapy a go or at least do one session see whether it suits me or not, what the hell I've got nothing to loose, I will as always keep you informed of my progress with this and any other alternative/complementary therapies I might try.
Plenty of people have said "why don't you go to the macmillan centre and get some free counselling?" reason why I can't go there is because one of the counsellors is my neighbour who incidentally lost her sister to breast cancer when I was initially dx, it feels really awkward with her and I accept is an unusual situation but I can't go to the macmillan centre because of this also her partner is her boss and another of the macmillan counsellors and although I don't know him I don't want to open up to him I'm sure they would discuss things. I could pay privately for counselling and have been recommended to people but again its very expensive. I feel the need of some help and I need to talk, it would seem now is the time for it. Regression therapy is very appealing to me as I see it as a kind of counselling as well as possibly getting to the bottom of some difficult questions with possible answers or at the very least some help.
I think I am going to give Regression Therapy a go or at least do one session see whether it suits me or not, what the hell I've got nothing to loose, I will as always keep you informed of my progress with this and any other alternative/complementary therapies I might try.
Wednesday 8 May 2013
Back for a bit....
Hello all,
Well I'm back from the terrifically sunny and absolutely gorgeous Newquay it was truly great just too get away although I did miss the cats terribly. Plenty of walks and talks with my friend sandy we also managed to visit the Japanese Garden just outside of Newquay which is magical especially at this time of year, I took a heap load of photo's and ate far too much but what the hell I figured I deserved a break. Taught my friend Sandy to paint with Acrylics which pleased her and me enormously also did a couple of paintings myself. My partner Lee got on and has started the conversion so we will be going back over in a fortnights time for another week and so it goes on until its finished.
MRI results came through whilst I was away in Newquay and the doc's say I'm cancer free on the brain so big massive sigh of relief and something to celebrate for a change. Hospital appointments are sort of dying down I've got a routine heart scan on the 31st of May and a lymph nurse appointment other than that I don't have to go to the dreaded oncology department for 3 months!!! first time in 2 years, so hallelujah to that. Although I have a slight nagging fear going on in the back of my head which is only alleviated by having regular scans, the doc's said I'd been stable for long enough for them to give my body a radiation scan break.
Other news is I'm still steadily putting on the bloody weight very annoying, this has been getting too me I try not to let it piss me off but I've spent my whole life as a skinny size 8 and now I'm trying on clothes that are a fucking size 16!!!! bloody tamoxifen!!!! When I say gets to me I mean I get really depressed and dive into the fridge I figure I may as well go with it even when I'm just having juice and nothing else I put on weight I may as well eat what the hell I like and be done with it. The worst part is not being able to fit into any of my clothes also I've taken all the mirrors down I can't stand looking at myself anymore because the person staring back at me quite simply is not the Sarah I knew before all of this shit started, its so depressing, god knows what my boyfriend thinks!
Hope you are all doing well and sending everyone some love and light
Sarah xxx
Well I'm back from the terrifically sunny and absolutely gorgeous Newquay it was truly great just too get away although I did miss the cats terribly. Plenty of walks and talks with my friend sandy we also managed to visit the Japanese Garden just outside of Newquay which is magical especially at this time of year, I took a heap load of photo's and ate far too much but what the hell I figured I deserved a break. Taught my friend Sandy to paint with Acrylics which pleased her and me enormously also did a couple of paintings myself. My partner Lee got on and has started the conversion so we will be going back over in a fortnights time for another week and so it goes on until its finished.
MRI results came through whilst I was away in Newquay and the doc's say I'm cancer free on the brain so big massive sigh of relief and something to celebrate for a change. Hospital appointments are sort of dying down I've got a routine heart scan on the 31st of May and a lymph nurse appointment other than that I don't have to go to the dreaded oncology department for 3 months!!! first time in 2 years, so hallelujah to that. Although I have a slight nagging fear going on in the back of my head which is only alleviated by having regular scans, the doc's said I'd been stable for long enough for them to give my body a radiation scan break.
Other news is I'm still steadily putting on the bloody weight very annoying, this has been getting too me I try not to let it piss me off but I've spent my whole life as a skinny size 8 and now I'm trying on clothes that are a fucking size 16!!!! bloody tamoxifen!!!! When I say gets to me I mean I get really depressed and dive into the fridge I figure I may as well go with it even when I'm just having juice and nothing else I put on weight I may as well eat what the hell I like and be done with it. The worst part is not being able to fit into any of my clothes also I've taken all the mirrors down I can't stand looking at myself anymore because the person staring back at me quite simply is not the Sarah I knew before all of this shit started, its so depressing, god knows what my boyfriend thinks!
Hope you are all doing well and sending everyone some love and light
Sarah xxx
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