Tuesday 31 July 2012

A moment of clarity

Apologies to anyone who was offended by my last post but its true I really did need to get that off my chest and out into the open, now I can move on and have found that quite profound words are coming to me from out of the blue.

If you live like each day is your last you appreciate the tiny things in life so much more, if you were told that this day is your last would you choose to spend it cleaning out the closet? or would you choose to spend it with friends family? what is important to you? how would you choose to spend the last day of your life? This is the question I am faced with at the start of every day, and it is the difference between living with cancer and living without cancer, there can be no off days, no lazy days, no wasteful days, everything has purpose and meaning even the mundane has a relevance.

I am living with cancer therefore I am living without the luxury of ignorance or complacency, the daily struggles that everyone takes for granted are no longer presented as an annoyance they are challenges, obstacles to be approached with courage and an open mind. My life before cancer was like walking around with your eyes shut, I feel like I have woken up, I am aware, my intelligence, my soul, and my heart are revived I am seeing with fresh eyes and feeling with new emotions. I believe we all with cancer or without need to ponder our existence, stop taking life for granted, people need to experience life as though they were children once again, what advice would you give to your child like self?


Monday 30 July 2012

The Heat is on...

The heat is on not just literally, spent most of today trying to avoid the heat it's bad enough with the perpetual hot flushes let alone with all this hot weather, although I prefer to have gorgeous sunny days as opposed to constant rain! One good thing about this hot weather is that I tend to get up earlier and start the day with a organic green juice, another good tip is to make smoothies these are seriously yum, yesterday I used a bag of pre bought frozen fruits, bio live yogurt, and lactose free semi-skimmed milk, today I used fresh pineapple and cantaloupe melon which I diced and put in the freezer, added the organic bio live yogurt and lactose free semi skimmed milk, totally tropical and brilliantly cooling, also really good for you and yummy!


On another note and in the spirit of not "bottling things up" (see post below 'better out than in...') or letting the proverbial heat get to me....here goes......you have been warned....


My main pain's are not with my own body although you would of thought that weight gain, hot flushes, having to be on treatment forever, constant fear of cancer returning was enough! No my main source of annoyance comes from people. Here's a list of my many people annoyances starting with the phrase people that....

  • Avoid me (because they don't want to face up to my dx) this makes me feel like a leper! 
  • Think that you can actually catch cancer, just to make sure and understand YOU CAN'T CATCH CANCER!
  • Tell me not to talk about IT or tell anyone! (WHY? because they are scared it will happen to them! or that talking about it in someway is a self fore filling prophesy, if only it were that simple we'd all be cured!)
  • Knowingly blow cigarette smoke in my face (can someone explain why you would do that to someone whom you know has lung mets!)
  • Are totally insensitive/thoughtless (tell me that cancer is some sort of punishment from god, this was particularly rich considering the person concerned was an atheist also choose to tell me that little gem when I was first dx)
  • Imply in some way that I was to blame for my dx (just for the record I AM NOT TOO BLAME)
  • Tell me "you look really well" (this may be the case, I never looked ill before I got the dam disease and I still don't look ill now, that why its so fucking scary!)
Normal service will resume now I've got that load of shit literally off my chest. 
Thanks for listening x

Sunday 29 July 2012

Better out than in.....

A quick up date on how things are going, well the bites have disappeared thankfully just as the sun decides to make an appearance finally!!!!! The statement "it never rains and then it pours" is literally what we have been experiencing in the uk, fingers and toes crossed this weather will hold out for what is left of our pathetic summer!


The reason I'm writing today is that the old saying "better out than in..." came to mind and I am now starting to take notice of sub-conscious messages so here goes. I've been kind of ok for a while now getting on with day to day life, minding my own business and concentrating on making myself healthy and well, plenty of organic green juices and supplements being taken, exercise is a little rusty too be honest need to get my walking shoes on and get out there, I'm blaming my lack of exercise on the wet weather and I'm sticking to that lol. I've been getting on with things and not particularly depressed (which is great, I was a secret depression addict prior to dx) I have realised a few things, namely that I need to have a clear out of my emotional dirty laundry, need to get a few things off my chest and out of my system.


Before I was dx I was one of those people that would get really wound up by other peoples insensitivity, of course I am blessed with a hyper sensitive nature one of my friends used to describe me as an "emotional sponge" what she meant was that I would soak up all the emotional highs and lows of anyone in my circle, I realise this is not a very good trait mainly because it means I am overloading on everyone else's shit as well as my own and then well then somethings got to give.


Regular readers will know I have been reading Bernie Seigel's book 'Love, Medicine and Miracles' I am at the point in the book where he talks about what he's learnt as a surgeon dealing with cancer patients all day every day and that there is a common personality trait of the afflicted and that is ultra sensitive, prone to depression, and most importantly holding it all in and putting on a brave smiley face even when your dying inside, I actually caught sight of myself doing this when I was at the Dr's recently sat there smiling my face off when actually I was really feeling totally miserable and depressed, this behaviour is something I have learnt from my parents, school, work place, but basically it is now ingrained into me to act in this way rather than tell or show someone exactly what I am really feeling. Bottling it all up and not addressing the issue has gone on for far too long, I need to deal with this shit,  the bottom line is it could save my life.

Thursday 26 July 2012

Depression linked to artificial light during the night

Switching off your TV or computer before bed may help to prevent depression, new research suggests. A study on animals by researchers at the Ohio State University Medical Centre found that exposure to dim lighting at night from electronic displays and other sources may lead to mood disorders. Siberian hamsters were exposed to different light and dark conditions for four weeks. Half of the animals received a chronic dim light setting - the equivalent to having a TV on in a dark room - throughout the night. When compared with the hamsters exposed to complete darkness, those that experienced low light lacked energy, motivation and were less likely to drink their sugar water.

“The results we found in hamsters are consistent with what we know about depression in humans,” said Tracy Bedrosian, one of the authors of the study.

The findings highlighted changes in the tissue of the hippocampus which were similar to changes found in people with depression. Within a week of returning to a standard light-dark cycle, the hamsters had made a full recovery.

Researchers say that the rise in exposure to artificial light at night over the last 50 years has coincided with rising rates of depression, especially among women. Light pollution can come from electronic displays, overhead lighting in the home as well as streetlights, passing traffic and neighbouring buildings.

“The good news is that people who stay up late in front of the television and computer may be able to undo some of the harmful effects just by going back to a regular light-dark cycle and minimising their exposure to artificial light at night,” Bedrosian says. “That’s what the results we found in hamsters would suggest.” The results are published in the Molecular Psychiatry journal and the article was taken from my email news.

It has been suggested that breast cancer may be caused in someway by depression and stress, most of the women that I have spoken with who have breast cancer certainly either had a bad bout of depression or severe to moderate stress prior to diagnoses. I did write another article on lack of the hormone melatonin due to lack of sleep and the connection to nightshift workers and cancer. All of this definitely needs further research, although even if it is depression/stress how are we going to tackle it in an attempt to halt or stop someone getting cancer, its food for thought.

Wednesday 25 July 2012

TV worth a watch

Worth checking out on the iPlayer is Horizon 'The truth about looking young' a link providing more details http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01lbgrp I found it very informative and interesting also had some pointers on diet which I found fascinating,  and confirmed the theory 'we are what we eat', also found that the diet presented on the programme is almost identical to the one I am on at the moment to try and make my body less acidic and more alkaline, well worth a watch.

Tuesday 17 July 2012

New and now tested 'Smart Bomb' for cancer...

An article I grabbed from the news on the new and now tested 'Smart Bomb' for curing cancer.

Scientists have successfully tested a capillary "smart bomb" that simultaneously attacks cancer and boosts the immune system. The tiny hollow spheres become trapped in leaky tumour blood vessels, where they unleash an anti-cancer drug. At the same time the spheres, called nanolipogels (NLGs), release a protein that rallies the body's own defences. Researchers tested the spheres in mice on melanoma skin cancer that had spread to the lungs. Tumour growth was significantly delayed and the survival of the mice increased. The new technology overcomes a problem with cancer treatment that has been difficult to tackle using conventional therapies, say the scientists. Cancer tumours are known to secrete chemicals that confuse the immune system. But attempts to boost patient immunity while at the same time neutralising the cancer's chemical arsenal rarely work. The NLGs, described in the journal Nature Materials, package together two completely different kinds of molecule. One is designed to overcome a potent cancer defence weapon called TGF-beta, which stunts the local immune system. The other, an interleukin signalling molecule, boosts immune system activity. Researcher Dr Stephen Wrzesinski, from Yale University School of Medicine in the US, said: "One problem with current metastatic (spreading) melanoma immunotherapies is the difficulty managing autoimmune toxicities when the treatment agents are administered throughout the body. "The novel nanolipogel delivery system we used will hopefully bypass systemic toxicities while providing support to enable the body to fight off the tumour at the tumour bed itself."Each NLG is small enough to travel through the bloodstream, but large enough to get entrapped in leaky cancer blood vessels. Once trapped, they biodegrade to release their cargo.

Thursday 12 July 2012

Initial thoughts on Acupuncture

Today I went for my first ever session of acupuncture I have never tried this treatment before and was a little apprehensive (not liking needles very much) but all went well, the practitioner was a delightful lady by the name of Sam, the room was clean and comfortable and the whole experience was very positive, initially we talked about how I'd found out about my cancer and I explained a few details about it ie: ER+ herceptin etc Sam then informed me that she would be using the Tao philosophy accompanied by other astrological factors like my date of birth to ascertain where the in balance existed in my chakra's, she continued to tell me that my Chinese astrological sign was that of a Goat and that I had too much fire and not enough metal/air/water elements and that this needed to be addressed, upon examination (she took my pulse) she said my pulse was sort of looping and although on the face of things I looked well with plenty of energy she felt that this was not quite what was actually happening, my stomach she told me was very taught and I know this too be true I thought it may be bloated or extended due to the drugs but Sam thinks its more to do with my sub-concious self holding stuff in and not letting go properly, she then proceeded to place 3 needles in one on my hand and two on my foot and leg, whilst the needles were in Sam focused on giving me some healing (something I am very used to as I go for spiritual healing weekly) she left the needles in for 20 mins and then removed them.

Afterwards I felt very relaxed and calm and sam told me that she was trying to treat the problems I had outlined in our initial discussion 1) hot flushes 2) constipation 3) migraine's for this session she had focused on treating the constipation and hot flushes she recommended that I have another 2 sessions to treat the other complaints.

I would recommend anyone for this type of treatment as long as its an approved and qualified practitioner, my first impression is that I found it too be most calming and soothing, I will keep posting as to how effective it is over the next few sessions.

Wednesday 11 July 2012

Butterflies and Rainbows

Last year whilst still going for chemo at the hospital I noticed on the drive up to the hospital nearly every time a rainbow in the sky, I also painted a picture of a rainbow over a stormy sea with one sailing boat in it please see below, another oddity was I found myself thinking about butterflies I even dreamed about them, whilst reading Bernie Seigels book Love Medicine and Miracles he mentions both rainbow's and butterflies in the same sentence, here's the symbolism attached to them:


Rainbows are a sign of hope
Butterflies are a sign of regeneration/transformation




It wasn't until I read that book and now realise the message being conveyed to me, the rainbows in the sky were trying to show me that if I had nothing else I had hope and the butterflies were pointing towards changing my life regenerating and transforming into the butterfly I truly am inside.


This picture means so much too me it was the only painting I did last year whilst going through the hell that is chemo and this is how I can now interpret it, the sea and sky is moody and fierce signifying the cancer, I myself am symbolised by the lone sailing boat struggling in the stormy sea, the rainbow offers me a strong message of hope that I will get through this and come out the other side and to date that is what I have done, weathered the storm and returned somewhat changed but ultimately triumphant. I really needed to write this down and remember it because somewhere inside me, something is telling me its very important.


Sending you all rainbows and butterflies
Love and light
sarahx

Tuesday 10 July 2012

Hope to heal

I've found these films on cancer and present quite a case see what you think:
This one is by Bernie Siegel the writer of Love, Medicine and Miracles worth a watch:

Monday 9 July 2012

Lower oestrogen levels for ER+ ladies

Our bodies are awash with natural oestrogen (of our own making and from the foods we eat) and from synthetic equivalents originating from chemicals in pesticides, white can linings, parabens preservatives, phthalates in plastic bottles, certain common toiletries like some nail polishes and perfumes. (Just to mention but a very few).

Worse, localised oestrogen has now been linked, not just with female cancers like breast and ovarian, but with male cancers like prostate cancer and testicular cancer; and with general cancers from melanoma to types of lung, colon and brain cancers. Oestrogen can cause a cancer and fuel the cancer fire.

If you have breast cancer, your oncologist may suggest oestrogen decreasing drugs, but rarely do doctors suggest this with other cancers. There is much you can do to help yourself here's a list of do's and don'ts.

1. Don´t be overweight - fat levels in the body raise your oestrogen levels (in men and women).

2. Eat less red and mass market meat - eating meat brings the animals own oestrogen into your body.

3. Go toxin-free at home - here are six suggestions:
  • Do not put perfume or perfumed products on your skin (and that includes aftershaves and body lotions).
  • Beware drinking liquids from plastic bottles/cups especially if hot, because of phthalate levels.
  • Beware eating tinned food from cans with white linings because of BPA levels.
  • Avoid parabens where possible in toiletries.
  • Beware volatile carbons from ceiling and floor tile glues, or chipboard.
  • Gases from common bleaches and cleaners.
4. Eat more greens, like broccoli - indole 3 carbinol has been shown to convert the aggressive form of oestrogen (oestradiol) to its safer sisters.

5. Eat more pulses - phytoestrogens are considerably less potent and can block cell receptor sites from accepting human oestradiol. Consider red clover, humous, lentils, red kidney beans.

6. Eat vibrant yellow and red foods for their carotenoids. Some mushrooms reduce oestrogen levels too, as can flaxseed on your breakfast!

7. Beware some sunscreens - ingredients like PABA, retinyl palmitate and oxybenzone have been banned or questioned already. The EU is on the case - but slowly.

8. Go organic - oestrogen enhancing pesticides like DDT and Lindane are still appearing in our food chain, especially on imported foods.

9. Take light but daily exercise - 30 minutes a day is linked to lowered oestrogen levels, lowered cancer risk and less cancer return.


10. Sleep in a fully darkened room with regular sleeping times. Melatonin has been shown to balance oestrogen excesses in the body. Or consider melatonin supplementation (3mgs max). Ask your American friends to buy it for you, or look for Asphalia a natural alternative.

11. Reduce exposure to EMF´s - the government is now taking EMF´s seriously. They reduce your melatonin levels. Beware living near power cables; having TV´s or electrical equipment round your bed; have your home tested for fault lines.

12. Do not take antibiotics - do take multi-strain probiotics. Your gut bacteria have been proven to help the removal of oestrogenic compounds from the body.

Cartenoids stop reocurrence

There are over 600 different carotenoids, for example:

Alpha-Carotene - found in carrots, coriander and green beans

Beta-Carotene - found in apricots, cantaloupe melon and broccoli

Beta-Cryptoxanthin - found in persimmon (Sharon fruit), papaya and tangerines

Capsaicin - found in chilli, sweet red bell and jalapeno peppers

Lycopene - found in tomatoes, guava and watermelon

Lutein - found in turnip, kale and spinach

Zeaxanthin - a strong yellow pigment found in fruits and vegetables


Many have been found to inhibit cancer development but this inhibition is reversible, meaning that stopping a diet rich in carotenoids may allow the cancer to grow again.

There’s a great deal of research into the effects of carotenoids. One way that carotenoids inhibit cancer growth is related to their ability to improve intercellular ‘communication’ by increasing the production of a protein (connexion 43, C43) which sits between cells. Cancer cells lack the C43 protein, which means they also lack a vital growth control system. A diet rich in carotenoids can help return the situation to normal, especially when combined with selenium – a constituent mineral of C43 found in brown rice, fish and Brazil nuts.

Two studies, one from Albert Einstein College of Medicine, New York and the other from Harvard in 2009 showed that eating colourful red, yellow and orange vegetables not only reduced the risk of developing breast cancer, but helped prevent it returning. In both cases the groups eating the carotenoids almost halved their risk. (International Journal of Cancer, 2009 Jun 15; 124(12):2929-37. Cancer Epidemiology; Biomarkers and Prevention. 2009 Feb; 18(2):486-94).
Shhwartz and Shklar at Harvard University studied the ability of carotenoids to inhibit tumour growth in breast, lung, oral and skin tissue. They found a positive response to treatment within 1 to 5 hours.

Stahelin and colleagues from the University of Basel researched the role of a number of antioxidants, including carotene in 3000 men over a period of 15 years. They found that there was an increase in cancers of the stomach and bronchus in subjects with low plasma levels of carotene.

Another example from research concerns vitamin A, mainly created in the body from carotenoids consumed. Known to drive many cancers from breast, to colon, to prostate and even some brain tumours, oestrogen causes its damage by binding to cellular receptor sites. Scientists at the University of Chicago have shown that a metabolite of vitamin A (retenoic acid) can compete with and block this damaging action. Whereas oestrogen causes random and rapid cell growth to occur, the vitamin A was found to ´normalise proceedings´.

Taken from Chris Woollams Newsletter July 2012

Melatonin interesting points....Breast cancer link

Here's an interesting set of points about the lack of melatonin or night shift work and Breast cancer taken from Chris Woollams newsletter July 2012.

Some quick facts about melatonin and cancer prevention

1. Melatonin is a natural hormone produced mainly by the pineal gland in the brain, although some has recently been found in the bone marrow where it appears to be linked with white cell formation. It is a crucial regulator of cancer driving hormones, and a powerful antioxidant.


2. Little was known about the pineal gland in Western Medicine until 1958 when Lerner reported that it secreted melatonin. However, the Greeks described it as The Realm of Thought; Descartes called it The Seat of the Soul. In Eastern medicine it has long been associated with the "Third Eye" and intuition, and it is linked to an important energy chakra.

3. The pineal has also been shown to be the link between the nervous system and the "Limbic System" of the brain. It is thus truly linked to perception and is activated (and turned down) by energetic, electrical and magnetic frequencies. These may be your own natural ones, or external EMFs.

4. Science has now shown that the pineal gland is linked to circadian rhythms, and to seasonal, sleeping and breeding habits. Recent research carried in Cancer Watch suggested that circadian rhythms might even control the effectiveness of chemotherapy drugs and the time of day they should be taken.

5. Philadelphia University have shown in research that areas of the brain are deactivated during meditation and during nuns praying.

6. In meditation, the pineal gland and the pituitary have been shown to vibrate in unison. Monks can even control their internal energy systems and temperature during meditation.

7. Melatonin is produced about 90 minutes after falling asleep in a fully darkened room. It pushes you into a deeper sleep. Production is light sensitive and regulatory "sensors" have been found in the retina. Several studies (e.g. The Boston Nurses Study, Scandinavian Airlines) have shown that irregular sleeping habits and sleeping in synthetic light, lower the production of the hormone and are also associated with higher breast cancer levels. Research has shown that melatonin regulates excess oestrogen levels and excess IGF-1 levels. Both drive cancer and IARC has declared lack of sleep a carcinogen. Melatonin is an anti-cancer agent.

8. However, it is now known that EMF´s (Electromagnetic frequencies) - the sort found from mobile phones, to masts etc - can also lower melatonin levels in the body, allowing oestrogen and IGF-1 levels to increase.

9. Recently the discovery of melatonin in the bone marrow and its reduction by EMFs has spawned debate about its role in prevention of leukaemia and especially child leukaemia.

10. There are nearly a thousand studies showing that melatonin supplementation has important oncostatic effects: both in cancer prevention, and also during chemotherapy, where it cuts down the side effects.

11. Melatonin levels decline with age, and melatonin supplements have been shown to have anti-aging benefits. Supplementation is now used by night shift workers, nurses, long-haul flyers and a number of top oncology and anti-aging professors on both sides of the Atlantic.

12. Supplements of 3 to 6 mgs are commonly taken about 30 minutes before going to bed. Levels above 10 mgs have been thought to cause vivid dreams and hallucination, but there is little scientific evidence. The hormone is freely available over the counter in many countries from Thailand to the USA. But not in the UK. Recently it was found that melatonin acts far better when plant-derived rather than synthetic. The plant derived version is called Asphalia.

Lymphedema? and the great flood......

Wow another one of those days!! Got bitten on my leg by a horseflie thought to myself I'll go to dr on Monday, then whilst enjoying a brief respite from the pouring rain (I live next village from Yealmpton on national news as it flooded) another of the nasty buggers bitten me this time on my right arm by wrist I've had all the lymph nodes out in that arm and distinctly remember my BCN (breast cancer nurse) saying "not to cause any trauma on that side or it could turn into Lymphedema (see below description) " so was worried sick I ended up phoning the NHS help line and they put me onto a very nice Dr who phoned me back and wrote out a prescription for antihistamines and antibiotics, so now drugged up to the eyeballs on the stuff, it never rains and then it pours excuse the pun!!!!

If any readers have had their lymph nodes out and don't understand the implications of this here's a description of what Lymphedema is. One of the most common causes of lymphedema is removal of the breast (mastectomy) and underarm lymph tissue for breast cancer. This causes lymphedema of the arm in 10 - 15% of patients, because the lymphatic drainage of the arm passes through the armpit (axilla). The main symptom is persistent swelling of the affected limb also note there is no tablet or drug to take that will relieve this symptom and once you have developed it, it can be very hard to reverse the process, the only thing you can do is wear a compression sleeve and of course exercise can manually move the fluid along so it always helps to do the exercises the BCN gave you whilst in recovery from the mastectomy.


On a lighter not I've been busy baking my first loaf of bread today in borrowed breadmaking machine, tasted delicious and I love the fact I know what's in it also baked a sticky toffee pudding smells yummy, sending you all my love and a cyber slice of the sticky toffee xxxxx

Saturday 7 July 2012

Complementary..

Whilst out and about in Totnes the other day I came across a sign outside of Neals Yard "20% off all treatments if booked throughout July" so went in and booked an appointment for acupuncture, I have been recommended this too help with the hot flushes as well as a host of other side effects from the drugs I'm on, I am sooooo excited, I know it sounds ridiculous but I am really looking forward to this, I haven't had any complimentary treatments for quite some time the only one I do regularly is spiritual healing which to be fair is generally hands off, so can't wait to try something new, also thinking about trying some reflexology as a general calm down and relax therapy, will keep you all informed how I get on.

Looking outside of the window today and again the sun is hidden behind a thick blanket of mist and rain :0( WHERE IS OUR SUMMER!!!! It has at the very least afforded me time to sort out selling my old Mac powerbook and I'm thinking of doing some proper baking today, try and fill the freezer up with some goodies.
Love to all
sarahxx