Decisions, decisions.......shitty decisions

Just received my letter telling me to come for a consultation with my gynaecologist in relation to my decision about whether or not to an Oophorectomy.

I don't know why I am feeling odd about this, I suppose its easier discussing this than it actually becoming a reality. It feels like the end of my life as a woman. Its ridiculous really I wanted this to happen, I've actively been chasing this operation and the rational side of me is saying "this makes sense, get the bloody useless things removed"BUT. I didn't feel this way about having my breast removed it didn't bother me in the same way, I was practically joyous about having a mastectomy but then it was more black and white, get rid of it, no more cancer etc. This however is totally different. I know my ovaries are being shut down every 3 months with a massive injection that I hate, I know I am in menopause and that the chance of ever having children is over, its so stupid I know all of these facts but still feel weird about having the operation done. The appointment is on the 14th and I know I have to have this done, its a no brainer, children aren't an option and I'm sick of the Zoladex.

I guess the answer is yes just needed to sound off a bit and get it all out.
Thanks for being here.

Zoladex v Oophorectomy

A week ago after 4 years in menopause my body decided to have a last hurrah and I had a period WTF!! I have never felt so low honestly even when I was dx I didn't feel this low but I was really really down, suicidal and depressed then I started to get the old period pains and thought eh up what's this! then I got the period fairly light but so dammed painful. All of a sudden things started to click into place I hadn't had a blasted hot flush for at least a week, my skin was incredibly spotty and I was feeling like I used to feel before I got dx utterly depressed obviously I was producing oestrogen and whilst I would love not to have the menopausal symptoms I definitely wouldn't want to swap it for the period related symptoms and the obvious one cancer! So reluctantly I phoned my onc's secretary told her she relayed this to Onc. who got her to phone me back with an immediate appt. the following day, wonders will never cease! The discussion was how to deal with the period and it was decided that I've to add yet another fucking drug to my arsenal of Zoladex implant. This consists of a heavy duty needle injected into your tummy (thank fuck for the tire around my stomach otherwise it would of been horrendously painful) I'm to have a low dose at first for the first 3 injections every 3 weeks then every 3 months thereafter. Urghhhhhh.............. 

So within hours the period stopped and I started to feel less agitated anxious and depressed I was ultra surprised at how quickly this thing works! Straight away the old hot flushes returned and the headaches were back but at least I didn't feel suicidal! However, I'm thinking whats the point in having these injections why not just have the buggers removed? I'm now trying to figure out what the pros and cons of having such an operation would entail and how it would affect my life afterwards. Weirdly enough Angelina Jolie Pitt has just had this very same operation in her attempts to thwart the getting cancer (she has an incredibly high risk to getting both breast and ovarian cancer) she's had them out and is now on hormonal patches to help with the menopausal side effects. Of course for us breast cancer hormonal ladies having HRT by way of patches or anything else is not an option so its like going cold turkey with nothing to alleviate the effects BUT I have been going through this menopausal thing for 4 years already surely this shit stops at some point!!!! I need to work this thing out when I have more info I will post it and list the pro's and con's it might help someone else who is faced with this dilemma.