Ok so I'm normally up beat and try to see the positive side but I have to WARN you this post is not an one of those.
Have to start with I FUCKING HATE THIS FUCKING DISEASE! Today I went to Cornwall to view a cat unfortunately the cat just wasn't right for us, so we went into Truro for a bit of shopping, my favourite shop is The White Stuff I just about fit into a size fucking 18!! WTF I am now officially obese!!! gone from size 0 to a size 18 in 3 years this has sent me spiralling into a pit of self loathing and despair. I didn't eat anything yesterday and all I've had today was my usual supplements. I feel like I want to starve myself so have decided not to eat for as long as I can take it I WONT LET THIS SHIT WIN! Im feeling ever so depressed, don't want to see anyone, just want to hide away from the world and shut my eyes. I thought I'd already reached the bottom of the bottomless pit but this new depression has reached an all time low. I think its a combination of things mainly THIS FUCKING DISEASE what its done to my body, finding my pet cat dead earlier on this year and not being able to find a suitable cat and so the list goes on...... of course the weather is changing so its never a good time of year. God I needed to get that out, thank you blog for listening I think I'd go out of my mind if I didn't have this platform to sound off on.
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