Hello all,
My second counselling session complete and I'm feeling a lot better not so sure its because of the counselling could be more do to with the new diet I am currently trying out. More on that in the next chapter. The bottom line is I'm not very happy with my appearance this makes me sound very shallow doesn't it? but and its a big one I'm not vain or shallow, before all of this shit hit me I was a healthy 9 stone women who hardly ever looked in the mirror or put make up on not bothered with how I looked because I was happy in my skin I wasn't exactly a super model but I was happy then this shit storm arrived and took my breast, all my confidence, my body image, and threatened my very existence. I've successfully fought this mother fucker with true grit and after all that I'm left permanently feeling like a beached whale! The counsellor suggested that I simply learn to live myself the new me but this just isn't an option, so she referred me to the dietician whom I am seeing in September and sent me away with some homework I need to write a list of a) my best qualities and b) my achievements when she asked me these two questions I found it hard to reply my first response was under 'qualities' "Creative Expression" being an artist/designer this is a fundamental part of who Sarah actually is, it makes me who I am and has formed my life thus far, how you conduct your life, being creative and pursuing art from an early age has been a catalyst in my life from my choice of friends down to the picture I present to the world. I am going to ponder on the other qualities I might have excluding the stereo typical responses that the counsellor doesn't want ie: that I am compassionate, loving, caring etc. I will continue to write down my response to these questions and others on this blog its very interesting and something I've never engaged in before.
New diet basically its the Atkins diet lo-carb's or no-carb's eating mainly organic meat including fish and shell food, eggs, salads, vegetables, snacking on fruit nuts and seeds. No sweet stuff or high carbs at all ie: no cakes, pastries, crisps, chocolate, bread, white potatoes, pasta (unless its soba noodles, buckwheat) free from all gluten and additives. Started it last Saturday and blimey! I've already started to loose weight!!!! You'd of thought I was gorging myself on all the bad things before but actually I wasn't just eating normally. I think the biggest change is bread, completely cutting it out is making a massive difference, I'm not so bloated and when I look down on my body I'm not faced with the gigantic stomach that I had become accustomed to ok so its not flat yet! but its not as bloated or tight feeling. A big THANK FUCK FOR THAT amen to a carb less diet. I've yet to start exercising properly but have been doing my usual walking around 8 miles a week, including swimming in the sea when the weather permits. My confidence is rocketing I'm finally feeling like I am winning with this ongoing battle and getting back to me. I will keep you all informed as to my progress with this and hope to be posting a pic of a skinny or skinnier me soon. I can't tell you how much happier this has made me feel. I can put up with all the other side effects including migraines, joint pain, mood swings, breathlessness but I just can't stand being weirdly over weight ie: a massive pregnant bloated stomach contributes to the breathlessness makes me feel about 100 with normal legs!!!!! This cropped up in my email box and basically tells it like it is and is exactly what I've been trying out for the past week. http://www.bcadvisor.com/molly-bain/blog/
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