2016 TFFT

UPDATE Dec 2015: Finally got in to the Nurse to have the Zoladex shot this went well and as I was in there I asked her to look up and see if my Thyroid results came back, yes they were back but nothing was abnormal cholesterol was on the high side but the Thyroid has gone back to being normal, so where does this leave me, it leaves me feeling stuck and desperate. I spoke with the lovely nurse who gave me the Zoladex and told me about the Thyroid she told me that she found it near impossible to loose weight going through the menopause and she told me that the weight I am carrying is indicative of menopause as its mainly all round my tummy like a tyre. I asked her how she managed to loose weight she told me and I quote "the only way I lost weight going through menopause was by fasting at least 2 days a week" she went on to say "I tried everything, extreme exercise, strict diets everything was tried and I didn't loose a pound!" she advised me to forget about loosing weight as it wouldn't shift until I'd been through the menopause completely something none of us know when we will be through, as for me personally Im in chemical menopause and will go through the menopause naturally again..... when I would of gone through it at a later date until then I have to suffer this dammed affliction and all its barbaric side effects. As you can imagine I'm not exactly on top of the world and am back to square one with the view that the only way to loose weight is to fast!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR

And it was just that a Happy New Year spent on top of Glastonbury Tor with my best friend and partner. The view was spectacular you can see for 25 miles all around from the top of the Tor, the weather was clear and cold, the moon was out and the stars, people let off fireworks all around us at the stroke of midnight it looked magical, a beautiful spectacular night, all three of us thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Can't believe I managed to get up there a lot of huffing and puffing and sitting down about 25 mins in all but I did it I managed to get up the Tor, something I've always wanted to do on new year.

2014 here we come....

Really looking forward to 2014 got a lot that IS going to happen. My partner Lee is going away to do a training course in Rigging he hopes this will set him up for a brand new career, I'm pleased he is moving forward and is not as bothered as he once was about leaving me at home alone. Lee is 13 years younger than myself and as a young man needs to feed his life he is still very young at 33 and deserves a positive break. The course is in Feb so I will be home alone for 3 weeks whilst he is there, when he does qualify it will mean he will be going away to work on a regular basis for 3 weeks stint but then he will also get 3 weeks off, the pay is excellent for this type of work so it means that when he is at home we can go off on holiday and really start enjoying life, we've been through so much together we both deserve something good to happen.

Once Lee has qualified and has done one 3 week stint the pay is so good we will be able to afford to move house which would be amazing! We love where we live but its tainted with whats happened here, yes its by the sea on the south coast of devon, yes its a beautiful area BUT and its a big one its got its down side like we've been here for 9 years we hardly know anyone not for want of trying but because people in these back waters tend to stick together and don't let anyone else in this is exasperated when you get dx with advanced breast cancer people tend to avoid me like the plague! The flat is in a great location but it has no central heating (only an open fire) very old 1950's night storage heaters that don't work properly and cost a fortune also no other services. We are surrounded by trees in quite a large wood sometimes this can get me down as its so dark and I can go for weeks without seeing anyone other than my cats. Solitude is good for the soul but too much of anything is not a good thing.

We are looking to move back up to Somerset and in particular looking at Glastonbury and the surrounding villages, my family don't live that far from this area and I have a lot more friends up there for support its a no brainer really. When we left Somerset 9 years ago it was for a fresh start and too be nearer the coastline and countryside I realise now that I miss the countryside and landscape of Somerset and have an idea about setting up studio/shop in Glastonbury this would really be like a dream come true. So moving is definitely on the cards, as is a new life and lifestyle. I instinctively feel this is a very positive move.

I hope and pray that 2014 will be a much better year and that for once all of my dreams come true. (I believe if you write it down it somehow makes it official and is more likely to come true) Here's my wish list and what I am cosmically ordering for 2014:

1. to continue to get well and healthy and to heal myself of breast cancer

2. for Lee to have some success with his new chosen career path

3. to move house somewhere on the outskirts of Glastonbury to a small cottage with its own garden

4. to be a successful, happy artist (self supporting financially) with my own studio/shop in Glastonbury

5. to have a pet dog and as I'm not going to have children a small dog would be wonderful

6. to go on holiday to the Norwegian Fjords

Happy New Year everyone.
Love and light to you all
Sarah xxxx

Turning a corner.....Happy New Year.....

Ok its a bit belated but the New Year passed somewhat quietly on my own as my partner went over to be with his brothers for the evening and I was ill on the sofa with yet another migraine yipeee!! Any way the good news is I've just received a letter from the hospital telling me that my CT and Bone scans looked normal, what they mean is everything looks exactly as it was over a year ago, so a huge sigh of relief and now planning yes you heard me planning for the year.

There's quite a lot I need to achieve this year and I'm going to have to do it without any stress, here's a list of what's GOT to happen.

1. Move house, further up the line to Somerset to be nearer my family and friends, Devon is beautiful BUT its sort of tainted since all of this breast cancer crap and we haven't had an awful lot of luck living here, like I said totally stunning place but no jobs, hardly any friends (we've lived here for 8 years and hardly know anyone!), the locals aren't that friendly and we have problems with our rented flat, water coming in through the lounge and bedroom we have informed the landlords but they quite simply are not interested, the building needs a lot of money spent on it to bring it up to scratch and they just don't want to do it, also at xmas they gave us a box of biscuits and a xmas card with one hand and in the other a letter informing of a rent increase, which is pretty crap considering they haven't spent any money on the place and its freezing. Enough of the whinge about the flat and onwards and upwards.
So a definite move is on the cards.

2. Due to the anticipated move I am trying to streamline my possessions, so for the past few days I've been going through my stuff and putting stuff into boxes for car boot or charity shop, or just plain throwing stuff away that I've been holding onto and haven't looked at in years and years, cutting out the clutter is very very cleansing literally! So in the spirit of letting go......goodbye my piles old letters dating back to 1996!!! goodbye all the little bits of paper that I think I know I'll make a collage with that and then never do.... ta da and good riddance.

3. Dieting, well not so much dieting, but cutting out all the sugary chocolate treats and cakes that I've indulged in over the xmas period, no more crap! Just good ole healthy organic fresh food and juice. I have managed to keep up with the juicing now in nearly 2 years and regularly take my supplements, all I need to do now is too loose some of the treatment indued weight I've put on and try and regain a waist! Been watching the hairy dieters and I'm loving their food so will try out some of their recipes.

4. Get creative! It sounds simple especially as I am an artist BUT I have been struggling with this one ever since I was dx and think my lack of self confidence is probably the real culprit as too why my creative mojo has gone walk about! At the end of the month I am aiming to have some art works on the go and be ready to give an art lesson to the lady that does spiritual healing for me this might be the necessary kick up the bum I need to get myself going again.

5. TOTALLY GIVE UP ALL PROCESSED FOODS. (see next post)

So Happy New Year to you all, sending all love and light and as always 'Live in the Moment' and be happy xxxxx