Home alone

Hi everyone,

So this is my first post on my new cancer blog and like the title suggests I am home alone for the first time in about 6 months as my partner has managed to get a job to bring in some extra money for Xmas, not that Xmas is going to stress me out in fact nothing is going to stress me out from now on (a pact I've made with myself).

Depression and stress are possibly the root cause of my cancer, nothing can be confirmed but I have a sneaky feeling it contributed to my getting cancer. I was healthy although not very happy before the dx I had been trying really hard to make it in the surface pattern industry with little success, my day job graphic design was also experiencing a slump (has something to do with the recession) and even though I had applied and attended lots of interviews I still was not getting anywhere, no money, can't pay bills etc just makes for loads of stress of course as soon as I got cancer all of a sudden my designs sold, something called sods law. Being a perfectionist is part and parcel of being an artist this unfortunately means I am also sensitive (like a raw nerve), easily upset, I would say I was living on the edge of a nervous breakdown but now I'm living with metastatic breast cancer I know which one I would prefer not to have. So if your reading this then realise this DON'T GET STRESSED OUT its not worth it! If you don't have your health you have nothing its as simple as that.

My life changed forever on the 10th of March this year and I will never be the same again, everyday is a gift and instead of living with a plan I now live without planning or organisation of any kind I try to live for the moment and enjoy life, I don't believe we are put on this planet to be miserable. I have been touched by the kindness people have shown me since my dx and it has made me realize that people aren't as bad as I thought they were prior to dx I could not stand the human race quite frankly human beings sucked, now I think slightly differently some us are extremely compassionate.