Little Ray of Sunshine...

So I've finally picked myself up after reeling from the shock of finding out about Ellie (see post below) the news that she had passed away really shocked and unsettled me and its taken me a few days to come to terms with it, I never knew her personally just followed her story and its unfortunate outcome, I suppose its inevitable at some point and all of us are heading in the same destination just didn't think it would happen to someone so young and that includes myself.

Since being dx I have seen 5 new friends die of this dam disease and each time it knocks me for six, and takes a few days too get myself back in a positive state of mind ready to battle onwards, trying desperately hard to get my mind off of what has just happened to Ellie and what may or may not happen to me at some point, there's no point in trying to second guess this but its hard not too think about it, for now I need to try and put this behind me and forge ahead, it's the fear that grips me each and every time, so wish I could be stronger and face this with the courage required.

Yesterday was spent walking on the beach, paddling in the shallows and drawing with a stick on the wet sand, the sun shining down on me, soaking up every ray and praying for what all cancer patient's want more time.

In the afternoon went to meet up with the newly formed spiritual group consisting of myself and 3 other ladies from my village, we practice something called psychometry where we swap pieces of jewellery then write down any thoughts or visions to provide a kind of reading, according to the other ladies in the group my readings so far have been spot on, certainly found the reading that was done for me to be very encouraging I was told that the Peony flower was being offered to me by spirit here's a meaning for it:

peony
THE MEANING & SYMBOLISM OF PEONY
With a recorded history that dates back thousands of years, it’s not surprising that even the mythology surrounding the origin of the peony has multiple versions. One legend has it that the peony is named after Paeon, a physician to the gods, who received the flower on Mount Olympus from the mother of Apollo. And another tells the story of that same physician who was “saved” from the fate of dying as other mortals by being turned into the flower we know today as the peony. The traditional floral symbol of China, the state flower of Indiana, and the 12th wedding anniversary flower, peonies are known as the flower of riches and honor. With their lush, full, rounded bloom, peonies embody romance and prosperity and are regarded as an omen of good fortune and a happy marriage.

 I particularly like the bit about being saved from the fate of dying.

Tomorrow I go for spiritual healing this always makes me feel more connected to my environment and to the universe in general, it takes me on a journey of discovery and makes me happy and content.