Sat at my comupter at 7.30am on a sunday morning (thankyou tamoxifen for the hot flush that woke me up!) listening to a Song Thrush singing its heart out, what a fabulous way to start the day, the sounds are so beautiful I have often listened to this bird song and feel uplifted, inspired and have always found comfort in the knowledge that most are still sleeping, I always used to start painting at this time of day and sometimes through the night, they say we are closer to god at these times the twilight is a special time of day for me.
Couple of days ago after receiving radiotherapy we decided to drive up onto the Moors on our way back down we stopped off at Buckfast Abbey where an order of Benedictine Monks reside it has the usual gift shops and restaurant but this time we also went into the Abbey, the place was so amazing the stained glass windows (all made by the monks) were totally awe inspiring, whilst walking around I was overcome with very strong emotion (this is not the first time in a place of worship) I was sort of happy but moved to tears and was battling hard to contain them, I lit a candle and said a prayer with tears running down my face, this I could not understand I am not particularly religious certainly not Roman Catholic BUT I could feel something there, when I got home I tried to make sense of this but just could not work it out, was it self pity No, was it fear No, what was this?? I approached a fellow breast cancer sufferer who just happens to be a Vicar and asked why? She pointed out that back in the Celtic Pagan religion some of which has been adopted by the christian faith that the pagans had places called 'Thin Places' (google this if you are interested) called thin because they believed that you were closer to god in such places and that the veil between life and the afterlife was thinner in certain places, it was suggested to me that perhaps I might be a sensitive (definite trait of mine being an artist) and therefore going into these places of worship I could of stumbled upon a so called 'Thin Place' I instinctively knew this too be correct and when I thought about it other religious places like Glastonbury and the Tor also the river Dart have moved me to tears again the same sort of feelings accompanied this experience, and so the penny dropped and I managed to understand these complicated and sometimes frustrating emotions.
Whilst at the Abbey a strange coincidence occurred I have always wanted to go to Lourdes in France even before I got breast cancer this was a yearning of mine, on a notice board at the Abbey an advert for a pilgrimage to Lourdes in June this year it costs quite a lot £700 pounds but includes flight and accommodation, needless to say I've taken the email address and phone number, hopefully this will come true and I will go to Lourdes, who knows I could be healed by the special waters there.
Love and light xxx
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